MrsPeel wrote:
I do wonder if not knowing was a good thing in some ways, because it forced me to learn a lot of compensatory strategies to be able to fit into society. These have served me well. I was also less aware and hence less self-conscious about my AS traits, which was nice in an "ignorance is bliss" kind of way.
Now I'm getting a lot of burnout due to no longer having the energy to maintain those compensatory strategies, and basically being expected to cope with things because "I always have". So right now it's much better that I am aware, as I need to start treating myself a bit more kindly and learn to accept my limitations.
So in my case, it was good to be unaware, up until the point when it wasn't. If that makes sense.
Not knowing when I was younger served me well in similar ways.
When one hits middle age even without autism, one tends not to have the energy one used to have. Adding compensating for being autistic in a neurotypical world is a recipe for burnout.
Being good to be unaware until the point it wasn’t makes perfect sense to me. I was diagnosed at age 55. It would have been better if it happened 20 years earlier.
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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman