Was it better to be unaware of your own autism?

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renaeden
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09 Dec 2022, 11:18 pm

No, I wish I had known as soon as I left school in 1994. If I had known at school and others found out, that would have been a nightmare. As it was, I got a job and lived a pretty isolated life for the next ten years before I suffered burnout. I was diagnosed with HFA in 2005 when I was 27. I had mixed feelings about it. I ended up with a severe bout of depression afterwards and some of it was due to me thinking that I could never be fixed and be like everyone else.

There's a lot career-wise that I've not been able to do because of my being autistic and that gets to me.



ASPartOfMe
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10 Dec 2022, 4:47 am

CarlM wrote:
Self diagnosing in 1978

In 1978, Wow.


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10 Dec 2022, 4:09 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I was diagnosed at age 8 but, personally speaking only, I know I would have been better off without having a diagnosis. OK I needed extra support with my work in school but socially I probably would have been better off at least not knowing I have a diagnosis or not having a diagnosis at all.

The minute I was diagnosed word got around the whole family, and to family friends, in so time flat, and it was all beyond my control. Even my classmates were told, which didn't go down very well. Kids and mental diagnoses do not mix. So you're foolish if you believe that telling a child's classmates about something like autism will make the classmates understand and accept the child. Neurotypical children are not going to take the time to understand a classmate with an ASD or ADHD. Some may, but most won't. I had a classmate who had a sibling with severe autism so you'd think she'd understand me more but she turned out nasty towards me.

I was the type of child to really want to be normal, and I even felt normal before the diagnosis. I just felt a little slower in learning, that's all. So if I hadn't have been diagnosed I probably would have just got on with it even if I might have felt a little different at times. But I only felt shy and nervous, and the label of Asperger's itself actually made me feel more miserable and different than the actual disorder.

I wish psychiatrists knew that instead of forcing my parents to get me diagnosed. I'd rather it was just brushed under the carpet to be honest.


My whole life had become a living nightmare before I was diagnosed as an adult. People who think it's better not to be diagnosed don't know me at all. But then again, when I was eight years old people just thought I was "eccentric" or a "temperamental artist". I was usually happy as a kid because I was allowed to be myself. If I had been diagnosed as a child I might not have been allowed to, instead it wasn't officially until I was a teenager because go figure.



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10 Dec 2022, 4:19 pm

kuze wrote:
Was it better to be unaware of your own autism?
Nope.

Now that I know, everything makes sense -- my sensory issues, likes and dislikes, attention to detail, appreciation of order and structure, other people's dislike of me, et cetera.

I only wish that I had known sooner.


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10 Dec 2022, 4:36 pm

It's best to keep awarenes of the Autism Spectrum in the background - yet not too far into the background!



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11 Dec 2022, 12:35 am

I do wonder if not knowing was a good thing in some ways, because it forced me to learn a lot of compensatory strategies to be able to fit into society. These have served me well. I was also less aware and hence less self-conscious about my AS traits, which was nice in an "ignorance is bliss" kind of way.

Now I'm getting a lot of burnout due to no longer having the energy to maintain those compensatory strategies, and basically being expected to cope with things because "I always have". So right now it's much better that I am aware, as I need to start treating myself a bit more kindly and learn to accept my limitations.

So in my case, it was good to be unaware, up until the point when it wasn't. If that makes sense.



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11 Dec 2022, 7:38 am

MrsPeel wrote:
I do wonder if not knowing was a good thing in some ways, because it forced me to learn a lot of compensatory strategies to be able to fit into society. These have served me well. I was also less aware and hence less self-conscious about my AS traits, which was nice in an "ignorance is bliss" kind of way.

Now I'm getting a lot of burnout due to no longer having the energy to maintain those compensatory strategies, and basically being expected to cope with things because "I always have". So right now it's much better that I am aware, as I need to start treating myself a bit more kindly and learn to accept my limitations.

So in my case, it was good to be unaware, up until the point when it wasn't. If that makes sense.

Not knowing when I was younger served me well in similar ways.

When one hits middle age even without autism, one tends not to have the energy one used to have. Adding compensating for being autistic in a neurotypical world is a recipe for burnout.

Being good to be unaware until the point it wasn’t makes perfect sense to me. I was diagnosed at age 55. It would have been better if it happened 20 years earlier.


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Silence23
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11 Dec 2022, 11:33 am

I think my life would have went less stressful and traumatic if I was diagnosed with autism as a young adult. I mean I was aware I was different, but never really understood the cause, despite having some knowledge about the human mind, brain, etc. I blamed myself for not being able to be normal etc. Even diagnosis in my mid thirties helped me deal with my issues a little better. Though it was too late. Better you get your diagnosis too early than when it's too late.



Magda.Regula
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11 Dec 2022, 3:27 pm

I think it's always better to know. I was the one who had desire to fit in and never knew why it wasn't working.

I recently started a new job and it's going better than I expected. I don't tell people I'm autistic but I guess management told them. As I'm a blogger I can't request to keep things private at work because everyone can Google me anyway. I think it works this way best; telling people that you're autistic somehow never works.



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11 Dec 2022, 9:14 pm

Quote:
Was it better to be unaware of your own autism?


No. 8)



Kindertotenlieder79
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12 Dec 2022, 11:31 pm

I can honestly say I had more optimism before realizing my brain chemistry. The limitations that come from me knowing i have autism have, in a strange way, brought some relief. While others may continue to lie to be about what I might be capable of if only I did *fill in the blank with whatever is suggested at the moment*, I know the truth, and I understand to a certain degree what can, or cannot, be remedied or corrected.



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13 Dec 2022, 4:18 pm

Never. Being armed with more information about yourself is always helpful.

Having a diagnosis doesn't change anything about you other than you know more, and knowing more enables you to deal with it better.

I wish I had known when I was younger, I wish my family had known. Then changes could have been made. I wouldn't have gone through life thinking I was stupid or lazy or any number of other negative things. Granted when I was young there weren't many, if any, resources for people with Autism. But knowing that there wasn't "something wrong with me" could have helped.

As it stands now, I think back and regret how some things went and how it may have been different if I had known. It angers me, it depresses and frustrates me.

I believe it is important that we pay attention to the mental well-being of children and do what we can to help them. As a society we don't come close to even doing the minimum.


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peaceheartco
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14 Dec 2022, 11:21 am

I was completely happy to be diagnosed and it was a huge relief to find out and discover that I had autism (or, then, Asperger's Syndrome). I suddenly had answers as to why I was different, why I couldn't relate to people in the same way, why I was being so mistreated all of the time at work, why I processed details or information the way I did. However, I don't like telling everyone I have autism, since the general public just isn't aware enough to know how to handle it and respond in a kind way to people with neurological differences.


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14 Dec 2022, 11:29 am

I believe I benefited from not knowing I had a very early autism diagnosis. I did know that I talked very, very late, and that I had problems relating to people.

I knew I was "different," and that I was "brain-injured." I used to think I had an operation that got rid of my "brain injury."

I benefited by being treated, not like a disabled person, but like a "normal" person.