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anna-banana
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20 Dec 2008, 10:20 am

^^lol I've been waiting for that, thanks LPP :wink:

to answer the OPs question:

I have no idea.


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ProfessorX
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20 Dec 2008, 11:03 am

I'm not really sure how good I'm at speaking about this since I'm only known what ,"Love" is I suppose :oops: :( from a short time scenario.Anyways, It varies from person to person I actually recall how when I was formally aligned to someone that I,myself never really spoke of love from the verbal context, in that I actually did not say," I love you" yet, honestly try though to get across my sentiments regardless.
Another thing if I may sincerely add is :oops: ?The amount of time required for any person within the Autistic realm to express his/herself regarding love varies.As you've stated that the both of "you" have been intwined for 6mos well,not all people right away respond accordingly however, being kindhearted without appearing un-nice I feel that your significant other will in time most likely express such sentiments yet, patience is key here.. I've hoped this along with all the other insightful posts of the this form will most kindly help you?


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Followthereaper90
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20 Dec 2008, 4:04 pm

with my actions ,buut cant show it in emotions etc :(


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MizLiz
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20 Dec 2008, 4:24 pm

I can't say it because it feels fake (same with thank you, for instance, or any other positive emotion), so I don't. Anyone who would fight me on it isn't worth loving.



AutisticMalcontent
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20 Dec 2008, 4:47 pm

Marilyn wrote:
I am NT but my boyfriend has AS. I'm completely in love with him and i let him know, but he has yet to verbally express his feelings for me.

He does lots of sweet things for me but never once has he ever said that he loves me or cares about me or that i mean anything to him.
It's been 6 months and normally that's enough time to buid an emotional feeling towards someone.

I try to be happy with how amazing he is in every other respect but, sometimes I'm a silly girl who just needs to hear some silly words of love.

How do you express love? Is that normal that he hasn't expressed any feeling towards me?
How can I help him to communicate his feelings without feeling like I'm attacking him?


Perhaps you need to be more physically forward with him romantically. Lol, no, I'm not talking about sex, but I'm talking about doing things to show your affection towards him, like snuggling up to him, or holding his hands when you want to say something romantic. Or for that matter just looking deep into his eyes and talking to him.

Most autistic guys, I believe, know what it is to feel love and what it is to show love, I just think they are very very shy about these things, and thus they don't take chances. I think a lot of autistic guys are very cautious about what they say and do, because their might be a negative emotionally response that will occur and confuse them or make them nervous.

Let me put all I've said into context. Let's say, for example that you have a couple who are neurotypical. The guy will tend to be more playful with the girl- doing things like playfully smacking her butt, tickling her, kissing her, or pulling pranks on her. Now let's use a couple where the girl is neurotypical and the guy is autistic.
The guy will probably not do the same things I mentioned above. Why? Because a.) he doesn't know how the girl is going to react and he doesn't want anything bad to happen, b.) he finds doing such things as bizzare, or c.) he just might not be that affectionate.
Very few autistic guys that I have heard of take big risks or gambles, because I honestly think they are going to have diffuculty calculating what's going on.

For example, I don't get into verbal fights or physical fights with people. Why? It isn't because I'm weak (I'm actually pretty strong), and it isn't because I'm a pacifist. It is because I'm autistic and therefore f****d in this manner. I know that if I provoked someone, I would immediately feel scared and fearful because I can't emotionally understand what's going on and I'm intimidated by aggression. It doesn't matter if it is a shrimp of a guy, I can't fight worth s**t if I don't have emotional understanding or confidence. Therefore, I stay out of trouble.

In the same manner, I think autistic guys come up with coping strategies just in case they might get hurt.



networkgeek
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21 Dec 2008, 12:31 am

I have dificulty expressing love verbally because it sounds so fake coming out of my mouth. I hear myself saying it and I don't believe it (even though its true) so I don't think she will.

Also I often think I am being very affectionate physically to later find out she didn't know I was doing anything at all.

He may be showing or even saying more than you are seeing.



IdahoRose
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21 Dec 2008, 12:39 am

While some people on the spectrum are adverse to physical contact and admitting feelings of love for others, I'm the opposite. I'm always hugging my family members (particularly my mom), and I often tell people that I love them. When I was younger, I actually lost my best friend because I was too physically clingy with her, and I told her that I loved her. I also remember that, on one occasion, a teacher got upset with me because I hugged her.



millie
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21 Dec 2008, 12:43 am

b9 wrote:
millie wrote:
say hi to the possums, B9.

they like just the general sound of my voice when i say stuff like "oooooooh does little pooey wooey wanna lill tickle and a cob of corn ?"
they get all fluffy and lovey dovey and if i was to say "hi" to them, they would probably prick their ears up in temporary suspicion as i never said that before to them.

millie wrote:
By the way, it is actually nice to see this side of you. you should write posts late at night more often. :)

i am confused by that statement.


oh...please dont be confused. it was meant as a compliment. what i meant was that it is nice to see you talking so sensitively about your possums. nothing awful meant by it whatsoever. it was also a reference to your comment and fear that your post might somehwo be considered "outrageous." i just thought it was nice. that's all.



noahveil23
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21 Dec 2008, 1:16 am

I tell my wife I love her several hundred times each day.
I also tell her she is perfect just as she is.

I don't like being touched by pretty much anyone, except my wife.

Romance has always been a mystery to me, neither my wife or I are romantic in the conventional sense.


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Forsaken
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21 Dec 2008, 9:22 am

By letting those I love be them selves but granting advice and guidance as needed when they seem to need it for their own benefit.
By caring about and keeping in mind how they feel and what they may want concerning people and issues in their lives that may come even years later.
By letting those I care about find much of their own ways in life so they may personally grow and develop into who they are and should be.
By keeping in mind that they not only have the right but are much better off having as many friends and positive caring role models in their lives as they can or have want to.
By being there for them when times get tough helping them learn to and stand by whats in their own best interest.
By opining a can of whop-ass on them when they start going down a road of self destruction.
By helping them get help when they need it.
By showing much caring and affection.
By respecting their own space and choices.
By Helping them learn to take responsibility in and for their own lives and actions.
By being in their lives.



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21 Dec 2008, 11:52 am

I also show love by my undying loyalty to a person or thing, like a pet for example. The only person who really has my undying loyalty right now is my father, and he knows it and has great respect for it.