Let's get one thing straight about being an Aspie

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Not happy to be an aspie. I deal with it the best I can, but there's all these fun, crazy desires and qualities in me dying to come out that just can't because of whichever symptom. I just feel like I'll always be living as a watered down version of myself. I'd give it all up for the ability to make friends who I can truly be close to.

lol, I'm saving that quote ^^

Exactly, even though we may feel like we're from another planet, we're living on this one. Any way that you can bridge the two worlds, will make this world a better place.
One thing to remember is that we've been Aspies all our lives. If we weren't Aspies, we'd be a totally different person; because being AS colours every sense of our existence. So therefore, it's about loving yourself, and accepting yourself, as a whole.

I don't love it, I don't hate it. Then again, I don't know what it's like to be NT so I guess I can't compare the two.

I agree with everything you wrote.
I know that there are some Aspies who say that they're just fine with devoting their free time to whatever particular "obsessions" they have without feeling much need for social interaction. But for me, there is no "obsession" that could ever be a substitute for a genuine close friendship.

Embracing the self topic

Before I was dx'd I knew and everybody else knew there was much that was different. Most people are afraid of being different and I think this may have something to do with not tapping into one's inner kind of strength. It is not easy to embrace that difference and wear it proudly. I have learned something also from reading the posts here today: anytime I was depressed it had nothing to do with Asperger's and Autism per se; self doubt can do this. Also, at my age, I have been living with me for 53 years. I am that I am and I am, for lack of a better word, healed due to experience and inner strength. I can trust myself.

I fixed my computer today, as it crashed last night. The antivirus programme disintegrated and I had to find something else and fast before the infections wrecked everything. I spent ten hours on it. Would I have done so if I lacked my inner strength, my stubborness. Being Aspergian has advantages.

By and large most posters here are happy Aspies. I hope the few that expressed concerns can eventually come to terms with themselves and heal. It can get better with age!

Embracing the self topic

Before I was dx'd I knew and everybody else knew there was much that was different. Most people are afraid of being different and I think this may have something to do with not tapping into one's inner kind of strength. It is not easy to embrace that difference and wear it proudly. I have learned something also from reading the posts here today: anytime I was depressed it had nothing to do with Asperger's and Autism per se; self doubt can do this. Also, at my age, I have been living with me for 53 years. I am that I am and I am, for lack of a better word, healed due to experience and inner strength. I can trust myself.

I fixed my computer today, as it crashed last night. The antivirus programme disintegrated and I had to find something else and fast before the infections wrecked everything. I spent ten hours on it. Would I have done so if I lacked my inner strength, my stubborness. Being Aspergian has advantages.

By and large most posters here are happy Aspies. I hope the few that expressed concerns can eventually come to terms with themselves and heal. It can get better with age!

I'm love my superpowers, and since my Dx this summer (never heard of AS until April or May), I am aware of what kryptonite ("normal" social expectations and behaviors) does to me. My trek to self awareness was simplified when I found the map with the arrow pointing to the "You are here" wilderness of Aspergia.

Because of it, I realize that my hope of having kids in school having to memorize my name and contribution to humanity hundreds of years from now is not an idle dream.

At 48, I still am not sure about what I want to do when I grow up. But, I know that there are three things that are part of my future: I wanna be a hermit (sort of); I wanna be a philosopher (still serving my apprenticeship); and I wanna write a book (and boy, do I have some experiances to share).

Mark

I do feel I am intelligent, even moreso then the average person. However if I could choose I certainly would be NT because I would have a better chance at a family someday, my ultimate dream that may very well escape me.

Let me put it this way: I believe asperger is curable and one day i'll be normal, if right now i found out for sure it's not curable i would be shooting my brains out instead of making this post.

More times than not, I like being aspie, if only because it's me and I don't know how I would or even could interpret the world otherwise. And when I hate being aspie, I sometimes have to wonder if it's the autism I'm hating or the perceptions of/societal barriers toward autism that I'm hating. Mainly, my "self-aspie hatred" involves all things social -- because I can't seem to participate, reciprocate, or quickly process social happenings. I read social interactions "differently" -- or, I could say that NTs read social interactions "differently." But I don't know that one way is worse than the other... the NT way is more accepted, but acceptance doesn't make something better. Of course, being on the unaccepted side of the coin totally sucks sometimes.

Because I don't believe that I can separate "autistic symptoms" from most of my personality traits, I do think that hating my Aspergers would be the equivalent of hating my entire self. I don't feel that I can separate me from AS. Admitting that I hate being aspie is admitting that I hate the whole of me.

Of course, I could do without the sensory stuff sometimes... but, then again, I can't imagine a world in which I would love fluorescent lights and shop at fluorescent light stores. Can't.

Don't you feel like NTs are ignorant of their surrounding, and just happier? Sometimes, I feel like I obsess and analyze too much, and my day is spent not being able to enjoy what NTs enjoy; the simple things in life. In turns, I can't enjoy life. Too much time is spent thinking, obsessing, stimming and being socially anxious.

The only thing I like is that as a Aspie, I get a HELL OF A LOT more accomplished than any NT, and I think and see so much more, than an NT, in certain subjects. However, the rest of my day is miserable...like my brain just won't turn off.

I don't believe it's curable, because to me, it feels like a personality type, and being cured of it just seems impossible. But at the same time, I hope there's a cure someday. I really do....

Yea, Deacon Blue!

Oh, heavens - you must not know many NTs. They seem to spend the majority of their time worrying about what other people are thinking, what people are "really saying", and whether or not they look good. The only one of my personal acquaintance who takes the time to enjoy such simple pleasures as a warm spring day, or the smell of fresh-mown grass or laundry straight from the dryer, is my wife - and I had to teach her to take the time for that. The other NTs of my acquaintance are rushing forward, looking for the next sensation, the next thrill, the next moment that they can confer with their fellows to make sure they really are having a good time...

...it just seems so exhausting, just watching them flitting about like that...

"do i like being an Aspie?"

Well generally i have good days and well, i feel that i didn't really have a choice since i was stillborn and they had to revive me and me and my mother almost died from me being born so in those circumstances it was either be an aspie or be DEAD so i am an aspie because im not dead and in the choice of life or death i would choose life.

Well i hope that what i have saide makes sense.

That is what I think too.