Do you see yourself as evil?

Post Reply New Topic

I am not evil. No person is completely good or completely evil. This essay No Good Guys or Bad Guys Here - http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=411 expresses it very well.

Yeah, that's what the doctors do.

I seem to have both deficits in regards to empathetic concern; I suppose I just have a double hit of such. I don't care for the suffering of others, even after I've gone through with the cognitive process of understanding (the person with "just" an ASD will understand and care once they realize). I have no remorse/shame for anything that I've done.

However, and something that "saves" me, I have guilt, lots and lots of guilt, and also a very sound and moral upbringing by my mother.

I think psychopathy gets a very bad rap for the simple reason that people focus on those who exploit others for their own gain (for just reason, of course, and these individuals seem to be the most frequent in interpersonal relations). The only thing I exploited was the gullibility of animals and the neighbours' pets, and that's probably due to my indifference to people.

You are going to have bto help me out a little here Daniel, because, in this context "remorse" and "guilt" are usually regarded as the same thing, so can you expand on why you feel you have guilt, but not remorse?

double post...

Last edited by mechanima on 29 Mar 2009, 10:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Guilt is knowing that you've done something that someone else will disapprove of (in my case, it's always been my mother who I've felt I have let down).

Remorse is self, and whether you think you've done something wrong or not.

A psychopath can lack one or both.

People more usually consider guilt and remorse to be the same, and to mean whether you feel you have done something wrong or not, and the "shame" is knowing you have done something others will disapprove of.

M.

If you see that guilt and remorse are the same, then I lack both. I'd have some shame, but it's distorted for the simple fact that it's only applied to a singular person (well, a couple actually); I don't care what anyone else thinks.

I was reading that psychopaths actually feel for those close to them (love, care and compassion), parents particularly since they knew them from such an early age; which is very similar to how the individual with Asperger's tends to interact with family members well, but the rest of the world, not so well (generally speaking).

I can say that my father loved me in his own way, and I him.

That makes sense. Regarding the expressions, I have had similar experiences, and I'm still figuring out the proper expressions. I have at least learned that I smile when I'm nervous, and that is something I definitely let people know. I used to smile at any unfortunate event all the time; I can't help it!

About the evil thing, however, kids at school and my parents may have joked about calling me "evil," but it didn't encourage me to do bad things or anything. This may be like your case too. I have no (or very little) emotional attachment.

i feel evil sometimes.

I think I'm evil. If I had the power I would get everyone who has ever insulted me murdered without a fought.

I think everyone is a mix of good and evil, regardless of whether they are Aspie or NT. However, I think Aspies are more likely to be interpreted as evil, due to the fact that we don't always process or express emotion. This freaks out a lot of NTs.

Would it be considered evil to view most of humanity and people in general with a terrible sense of pity? They have no capacity for memory or reflection, and are so much like sheep that it wears me out just thinking about it. They spend their entire lives controlled by their emotions and are abandoned by their reasoning and logic as their emotions act like a shield to protect them from things that they do not have the ability to comprehend.

I suppose the evil side of this would be the frustration that can come with seeing all of these problems. Because you can't tell them why they are wrong from a logical aspect, as their emotions shield them from it, disallowing any attempt to remember or apply what information you give them. Usually attempts to discuss things that my friends do which bother me results in them becoming upset and in some cases vengeful. It's as though a truth about themselves that may conflict with their simple solutions and rationals based off distorted memories and thoughts ruled by their emotions are somehow the most dangerous and horrifying things ever.

In a sense I suppose I have " evil " thoughts in that I often view people as something like a pet dog who is a danger to people because he is afraid and bites/lashes out at strangers due to that fear. You know you should put him down, but you can't bring yourself to do it because you remember and know the dogs capacity for showing love and doing good.


P.S. It's not like I enjoy these thoughts... but all I have to do to reinforce them is watch the news.

No, I don't think that is considered evil. I think it is generally considered patronising.

I don't think it has to be applied for more than a singular person to be shame (which, of it's nature is always, to an extent distorted).



I have heard of that particular article befors, and i have to say that is contradicts the vast majority of medical and academic work on psychopathy, and is usually considered a bit "left of field" to say the least.

Personally I suspect the author is romanticising and sentimentalising psychopathy.



To be honest, I have always thought that assertion was largely romanticisation and sentimentalisation too. Just as many Aspies have no relationship whatsoever with family, by choice. To generalise is a self evident error.



That really depends on what you call "love"...and anyone who let themselves be convinced that a psychopath just "does not trust the world" is very, VERY naive indeed...

nooo!
i always have been a good kid.

I can be sometimes "mean" without any ill intent, and sometimes with voluntary intent. Usually people can tell the difference though. :p But i'm usually a nice enough person :> I even help people randomly on the street if they seem to need it ^^; (why i reckon one time, i was walking back home and two guys had their car stuck in a pile of snow (pretty common in snowy countries) so i helped them out. =P If anything i'm "chaotic good" ;p .