Suicidal Ideation as a fuzzy, daily constant

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Millie I was going back over this thread (is it a thread or a post I am never quite sure?) and read where you talk about constant thinking and wishing your brain would shut up for a while. I had this really badly, still do but to a much lesser degree. The less than ideal 'fix' for me has been SSRI's I used to use flower essences but these are nowhere near as effective.

Although the 'fix' is less than ideal there is no way I am going to stop taking them until something more suitable comes along. I did stop once and the 'brain babble' nearly drove me crazy.

Just my thoughts. I don't want to sound like I am teaching you to suck eggs.


BTW I checked out your gallery. Love your artwork, especially the various 'studio' paintings

I don't think this has anything to do with my ASD, but I've been fantasizing for at least the last 2 days about running in front of a firing squad after I get out of court if they ban me from seeing my son and my boyfriend doesn't want me back.

oh thanks for the affirmation re my work. the studio paintings is where it is all happening now - huge big paintings ten feet long,

I came off ssri's 4 months ago. I was on them for 11 years and i want to stay off them. I am reallyglad to be free of them as my special interest fares better without them actually. My social feigning goes down considerably, but heck...i cannot have it all!!

It can be quite difficult, but it can certainly be done... especially if the parent is aware of their own condition. I can be domineering, self absorbed, seemingly neurotic, laugh at stupid things that other people don't, overwhelmed by frustration, agitated by the noise level in our house etc etc etc .....what amazes me the most is that my (PDD-NOS) 12 year old son, loves me. My dominance (NOT the bullying type) gives him direction. My self absorbtion shows him that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. My neurosis shows him that he doesn't need to feel humiliated because getting on an elevator is a horrifying experience for him. My laghter gives him reason to laugh even harder, quite often until both of our eyes are watering, gasping. The ONE time that he'll 'freely' give me a hug (he hates hugging far more than I do) is when I'm frustrated or overwhelmed, and he shows an understanding that I've witnessed in far too few others. My agitation with the noise level in our house helps remind him to use an indoor voice (at least once in a while). He thinks I'm cool. He thinks I seem so much younger than his friends' Moms. In a lot of ways, he feels lucky to have me as a Mom. In every way, I feel blessed to have been given him.

Wow, that sounds really great! I think I´m a bit envious now...

Had suicidal ideation for about two months everthing was a potential way of killing myself passing cars high floors constantly thinking the pain was so great.Came out the other side still get depressed but try and keep busy also trieed meditation can reccomend it gives some peace.
Good luck

Good thinking there timeisdead I mean to find a reason why you shouldn't go.

I felt quite unable to answer the poll.

Lets just say that life seems unreasonably long at times, but I am half a century old

is fantasizing about dying the same thing as this? if it is i do it about once a month