How Much Of A Hermit Are You?

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The tendency towards having hermit like existence seems to be not an untypical trait of AS. But on the whole the impression I get is that most aspies don’t find this too much of a problem and it lets them indulge in their interests.

I really don’t notice how much effort it takes to maintain social ties until I’ve been single then I realise that the GF probably did all the work. I find it a real chore and people a bit needy if they require al this attention and reassurance.

It would be interesting to do a poll of how much aspies use their cell phone or even own one compared to NT’s; it really seeems like a necessary life support system to some.

However, the hermit thing does seem to bother other people more than me. The usual comment is ‘you are really antisocial’. No, I may be unsocial or do they fear I may be an antisocial loner and be contemplating going on a gun spree!!.

I don’t mind company and friends but I don’t like it when it becomes claustrophobic. One thing I would say is that with stay at home mothers with young kids you do hear that they can feel isolated from adult conversation and company.

I am very much a hermit and it worries my family a lot. I don't have much success making/ keeping friends for the same reason you cited -- not enough social reciprocation. I find myself quite happy with seeing people once or twice every couple of months and simply having time to myself. Sometimes even my cats are too clingy for my taste.

On the other hand, I do sometimes get lonely and would like to have someone like a lifemate to be around, but I doubt that I'd be able to sustain that kind of relationship for long.

Regards,

Patricia

What forces me out of the house is my kids. If it were not for that, I'd rarely leave. I only see my husband 1 or 2 days a week due to his work schedule so I'm pretty much on my own.

hermit. definitely.
So much so that i am absolutely relieved and thrilled as the rising flood waters in my country town this morning prevent me from driving to the airport, hopping on a plane to the city and attending the opening of my own art exhibition down in Sydney this evening.
I have been dreading the prospect of going for weeks and weeks. It is like hell for me. It is the sensory overload of the city, coupled with the crowd at the opening and the fact I cannot cope with all the input and social side of it. And then I return home sick, usually with nausea and vomiting from the overload.
The Rain Gods have answered my prayers and the Tweed River's replete waters are spilling over onto the arterial roads - preventing all traffic to and from our township.
rise, waters, rise.....

thank frigging christ.......
a day alone...drawing. phew. no opening, no city, no ned to go anywhere...just work on special interest at home. that is all i want to do.

I'm deffinately a hermit. The only times I leave the house is when I need food/supplies, when I feel like going for a walk (on my own of course) and when I'm dragged to a family thing.
I rarely even talk to my family, unless I require their help with something.

I'm a SAHM too with two kids (4.5 and 2), my son has AS as well. I stay home alot! I always tell myself I need to bring the kids out more, even to the park, my husband tells me this too but I don't. First, taking both out by myself is intimidating, I only do it if I have to. They are generally good kids, most of the time my son is fine, it's when he's not fine that scares me. But the reality is I'm happy to stay at home, and be quiet with them and sew, cook and clean. I always feel guilty for not taking them out more, but I cann't bring myself to go anywhere unless my husband is with me. Then we go all over the place, festivals are one of our favorite things to do if they are running one locally.

To be honest I've always been like this, when I was single and working and going to school, I rarely ever went out, spent most of the time at home. Since the internet, I've been worse......reaching out is easier with the click of a few buttons.

Since I'm jobless and right now only surfing the net interests me (honestly I do only this and watch movies nowadays), I have to get out with some friends a couple times a week.

When I actually have more stuff to occupy myself with, that drops down to once a month. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends, but I'm incapable of missing someone and am barely time conscious, so yeah.

I've wondered how many people here use their cell phone unless it's necessary. I have a prepaid phone, because I hardly ever use mine. I won't even give my number out to people if I think they're going to text me on it. It's for emergencies only, as far as I'm concerned.

I guess that I wouldn't mind company, and friends either. It's just ( I'm trying say this without sounding like a snob) that it's very rare that I meet anyone that I want to spend a massive amount of time with. I'm just indifferent to most people. I also dislike my routine getting messed up, and socializing messes up my daily routine. I guess that's why, unlike most aspies, I'm usually content socializing via the phone. I can excuse myself whenever I feel like it, and I don't have to leave my house.

I find it interesting that you mention getting ill from overstimulation. That's something that I've been wanting to ask about on here. I literally feel like I have a hangover after a few days of socializing. Last year around Thanksgiving I had several appointments, in-laws over, as well as cleaning the house for company, and making the dinner. I ended up with a horrible headache, sick to my stomach, and so weak that I just spent a day laying around doing nothing by the time it was all over. It seems that my body will eventually give out from all of the stress. I remember feeling that way most of the time when I worked outside the home.

I don't really like going out too much alone either. Part of the reason for that with me is because I don't have any sense of direction, and I get lost constantly.

I have one son like yours, he's okay most of the time, too. But, I also have a severely autistic son that pretty much requires two adults when we go anywhere. We don't go too many places because he can't handle it. We have to map out every excursion very carefully, as to not get him overwhelmed, and into meltdown mode.

I don't so much get physically ill, but I am much more easily rattled and upset when I've had too much social activity. Recently, I went on a hiking tour of archaeological sites with some of my professors and other students and was basically surrounded by people for three days and then had to go to work the next week. I loved the trip, but ended up having a weepy/ angry sort of meltdown at work from the overstimulation. It's a good thing I work pretty much alone.

Regards,

Patricia

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Most definitely Serenity> my ASD causes my brain to get overloaded as I cannot multitask. Too much input from too many sources - social, sound, smell, loss of routine, too many people etc and i get physically sick. I get migraines - always - after a trip to the city. I come home and have to stay in bed for a few days and rest in dark room. i get migraines from the sensory overload and i vomit often from it. This is very common. We simly cannot process input as fast or effectively as others. Too much social stuff does the same thing. I cannot process it and so there is illness which is connected to overwhelm.
when they are quizzing kids about their lives (re ASD's) they ask them about tiredness and might also ask them how they feel after a day at school. I would come home zonked and wrecked.

I am learning to self-monitor to prevent over- stimulation.

I am home in bed now and my opening is in 3 hours. Even though i am glad the flood waters prevent me from getting there, now i feel like a typical loser who cannot cope with normal things other people can cope with.
I feel like crawling under a rock and dying.

I resisted getting one for as long as I could. I always told people that if they couldn't get in contact with me it was because I didn't want to talk to them. If I did, I'd be near a phone. I only have one now because I know my thesis advisor insists on being able to get in touch with his students at a moment's notice. Of course, given my druthers, I won't even answer the phone at home most of the time -- I let people leave messages and then decide later if I want to call them back. Thank God for voice mail. Sometimes I go for a month or more without checking the messages because I just don't want to deal with it. Got in trouble with Mom over that one last month.

My daughter, on the other hand, is permanently attached to hers, or at least she was before she ran the car over it by accident. She hasn't replaced it, yet, and after only a few days is having acute withdrawal symptoms.

Regards,

Patricia

if you're anything like me, you're about to get yourself all worked up by playing that negative loop of thought over, and over again inside of your head. Stop it. You're not a loser, and you're not typical. You're a great artist doing what you love. Let them have their normal world. I've been there, tried that, and hated it. I think you have, too.

thank you serenity. i needed to hear that.

a phone??

I have never owned a cell phone. I did, back in the day own a pager, but that's calling someone back if you feel like it, not at thier beck and call. I have never felt the need to own a cell phone. My husband wants to get me a phone, but so that he can get ahold of me if needed or for emergencies but I'm OK with that aspect of owning aphone.