List one NT thing you do not understand.

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I don't see why when someone asks me how I am they don't want an honest answer and require me to ask the same thing back?

I always forget to ask them back and get puzzling looks from them.

I never understood the point in asking a question if you have no care for the answer. I got that a lot at pointless family gatherings. And then I was considered rude for not asking in return.

this happens to me a lot. it frustrates me, I dont know if they arnt interested or if they just forgot I was talking.

It is just convention. The important thing for them is not what is said, but that everyone are given an opportunity to talk (or at least talk in accordance with their social status within the friend group). It is impolite to try to force discussion on a subject on a group of people who don't want to discuss it.

this is what I dont understand. if they see it as forced discussion then why engage in the first place or why ask me questions if they dont care to hear the answers.

Because they might need you or something you have in the future, and because of upbringing and convention (that you should be polite and listen to someone). Generally, most people prefer to talk about themselves and what they see on the TV.

One that's driving me crazy right now...

When awkward stuff happens between two friends when drinking, why can't you talk about it later? This has been killing me for months now!! !

Small talk. This drives me crazy and I work in tech support so when I get a call it basically forces me to fix whatever issue they have as fast as possible.

Also why NTs are caught up in shows on MTV or American Idol and the likes instead of something on the Science Channel or Discovery. Same with people that hate math/science/art and love PE :/

Because most people don't understand maths and science? And society is hardly encouraging people to strive after knowledge, constantly hailing film stars and singers instead.

Giving gifts for baby showers. Why should I spend my hard-earned money on you when I didn't decide to get pregnant?

Is it ok for NT's to come and (try to) explain some of these things here? I'm new here, I hope you guys don't mind

Hey, that's kind of generalizing! I'm an NT and couldn't care less about MTV, while I love to watch documentaries, I enjoy art to a great exstent and loathe PE with all my heart. It's very individualistic - yes, there are those that like American Idol and the likes: they think it's relaxing (I sometimes like to watch something simple as well), a nice way to rest after a day of hard work. Others (for example, me) prefer surfing the internet to watching tv-shows, but the effect is the same.


Well, assuming the one having the shower is your friend, you'd have (as an NT, at least) tons of reasons. Giving gifts symbolises your support and sympathy towards your friend, and shows that they are more important to you than wealth. However, even if she's not your friend, it's seen as good manners to give a gift (doesn't need to be expensive), because of the fact that not giving any might imply you not counting them as a friend (and, if they have bothered to invite you, that's not how they wish it to be).

Usually I'm not the one to force anything or overtalk. I just go along with the conversation but it gets frustrating when the subject keeps changing. Also, there isn't any kind of democratic process by which "the group" decides what to discuss. Usually what happens is the loudest and most aggressive speakers in the group control the topic and everyone else goes along. It gets tedious when the loudest and most aggressive talkers aren't necessarily the most intelligent talkers.

I think that's a very American thing. In coffeshops in Europe, its usually the most verbal and fun participator who is dominating (though in pub life, it tend to be caveman dominance all over again).

What is so wrong with pole dancing? I mean, it is just a pole. Sure, the dancers tend to be a bit skimpy, but if you dress modestly and don't dance too provocatively, it is no different than gymnastics... Any dance with a pole would be okay, I mean, even May-pole dancing where you dance around a pole with ribbons would techinically be considered pole dancing...

I really, really want to take a pole dancing class, but my mother is opposed to it even though it is just for girls, they dress as modest as any gymnastics class and I am doing it because I want to improve my coordination.

I really don't see the big deal because it's just dancing with a pole, that's all it is...

Think many NT teenage girls are wrapping their heads around that one too... is more of an age issue really.

I don't believe that - I come across more as a flirter with men, even without doing anything. Men seem to like me for some reason - my bus-driver always says, ''hello love, how are you, darling?'' to me, but he doesn't say that to other young women (who probably have more of a confident look and make more eye-contact than I do). I know he doesn't say that to other women because I can tell by the way people get on. I even heard somebody say he was an unfriendly bus-driver.

Also he looks he gives me are not generally friendly looks like other bus-drivers do - they're flirty looks, and he winks at me and waves to me in an exceptionally pleasent way. And he's only been driving my bus for 2 days and reckognises me already. I know someone on here will probably have some sort of argument against me thinking he fancies me - but I do actually know the difference between a generally friendly look and a sexual look. I know!