You Might be an Aspie if...

Post Reply New Topic

As an aside, I have a hairless rat and (counting the newborns) 18 haired rats.

You might be an aspie if you read all 43 pages of this topic from beginning to end, without skipping a single post, in one 4 hour sitting.

You might be an aspie if you thought of the previous joke on page 20, but continued to read through to the end so that the joke would not be lie.

You might be an aspie if you held your breath in suspense hoping that no one had already posted your joke by the time you got to the end.

You might be an aspie if this was your grand achievement of your break from school.

You might be an Aspie if roughly twice a week, you find yourself standing in a store check-out lines with a whole lot of items, only to realize, just as you reach the check-out counter: that you've left your wallet at home.

You might be an Aspie if...

...you had several ideas to post in this thread but couldn't as in the sign-up sheet you misspelled your name and your OCD won't let you do anything until you get a new e-mail address to apply again with the spelling correction in your name.

...in 5th grade, when your science teacher asked a rhetorical question of what categorizes functions like writing and breathing, you were the only one to reply voluntary and involuntary, then explained it as she was amazed that you already knew the stuff.
...and also later corrected her that voices aren't mouth based; they are larynx-based.

...you once corrected your teacher's saying of "desktop" for the images on it, with "wallpaper."
...and complain about how the keyboard at school makes errors when typing because it has really thick keys that get stuck in corners, causing you to have several errors on the typing tutor program.
...you once made your own programming language and made an error in your program.
...you spent the day trying to fix it.
...you decided to trash the whole thing, then came back to it.
...you fixed the error while at a Chinese restaurant.
...without paper.

...by 3rd grade, by watching TV14 comedies regularly, you knew more about "the Facts of Life" than the average high-schooler.

...on your report card you got the maximum GPA but you scored the minimum in the effort department.

...whenever you get something wrong on schoolwork, you'd check the problem another time and write the correct answer, then ask your teacher to "fix" the grades, or point out when the math book is wrong.(Like when it rounds 2/3 to 1; not 1/2.)

...you score lowly on IQ tests because you know that there are infinite patterns for things as those NTs are way too specific as they choose the most common answer!

...you found your proof of the Goldbach conjecture too obvious.

...you have a messy desk but if a person moves but one thing, you get really, really angry.

...you tried to remodel your room, once, but stopped partway because you were overwhelmed by the room being unfamiliar, causing it to get more messy.

...whenever you find a new webcomic, or forum topic, you read through the whole thing.

...you follow every multiple links in Wikipedia articles, resulting in backtracking mazes.

...you are surprised that everyone doesn't have what you call a "library memory," which consists of a perfect photographic memory of everything you ever saw, instantly referenced.

...your mind works like Wikipedia:
There is a featured article.
There are forementioned link mazes.
There is a random article.
There is a search bar.

But, unlike wikis, it has bandwidth that requires food to pay for.

...you learned calculus from Wikipedia articles and now confuse your [4-year degree college graduate] teacher with funky equations.

...you tell jokes or use expressions that no one gets, like:
"Truncated sphere?!"
"That's like trying to express an axiometrical coordinate value on a circular plane!"
"That's like trying to find a quadratic polynomial!"

...you bauk at the overusage of drop shadows and bevels in the media and the textbooks, knowing that you could do better.

...you hate it when a tiny extra thing is added, like...
...sugar to cereal.
...extra filter to an image.
...that extra "Do!" at the end of "Dun dun nuhnun dun dun do!"

...you need extreme balance, like:
...yellow incandescent light to blue fluorescent light.
...sharp, metallic noises to soft, hollow noises.
...when comparing things, you NEED to use the same amount of adjectives in each description, as well as reusing sentence structure.

...you hate new cars because the seats are form fitted, they are very shiny, and because the door closing doesn't make a slamming noise!

...you hate expendible or enumerable things, like:
...baking mix included with oven.
...getting high scores in games.
...getting gift cards.
...bullets. (You prefer swords even though they are less simple; the reason they cut things is simply because the edges has less atomic weight.)

...you watch infomercials regularly and instantly want the thing.
...you hate when it says "call now and get another Sonic Blade, free,"
"but now you can get it for just 3 payments," "free sandpaper included,"
"no shipping and handling," etcetera, because you know that that was the original offer, and you know of the commutative law.

...you wish that Conway's Game of Life were available as a handheld.

...you think Hannukah is better than Christmas, even though you are an existential, nihilist, atheist, because it respects other religion by being about the poor Jews who lived in sewers and only had enough oil for one night's candle, but it lived seven extra nights, instead of a completely introverted celebration of some priest, that the religion is based on,'s birthday, (In reality, it's like President's Day.) even though it's really just stealing the Winter Solstice from the Pagans.

...you know that the reason horror movies are scary is because of that dramatic music and sound effects.
...you totally expect what'll happen next because of that, and aren't scared.
...you are scared by small, normal noises, though.

...you watched Saw just because it had cool puzzles and traps.

...when you were little, you loved the Teletubbies, (Especially those custard bowls!) except for when they repeated the learning segments.

...when you were little, you hated to follow what they said on Blue's Clues and hated the voiceover of stereotypical responses of children, when you had already formulated the conclusion to the clues.

...you got "The Hobbit" at the beginning of the year and didn't finish it by the end.

...you are surprised that there are s and s, but no ":.:s."

...you regularly hack into the computers and grocery stores for humor or to exploit the internet services.

You might be an Aspie if....
-You immediately go out and buy the DVDs of your new favorite TV show, even if its 5 seasons long, then watch all the seasons (in order) and read all about the show online (Wikipedia and IMDB of course) then get upset when new episodes only air once a week.
-You cannot watch the 2nd episode of a show that just starting airing if you missed the first episode.
-Your watch has a digital read and analog hands, just so it looks to other people that you can easily read a clock.
-You get flustered when you accidentally put your deodorant on before brushing your teeth, because now your routine is messed up.

- If you literally cried when your PC broke.

- If you treat your broken PC like it's a baby by kissing it and telling it, "Awwwe poor thing! Mommy will make it all better!"

If you spend all day on WrongPlanet.

...if whenever you pass the greeting card isle, you try to read them all.

...if you have to avoid the greeting card aisle in order to get any shopping done.

...ev'uoy reve tneps sruoh ni na enilno eerf rekop etisbew gnipyt segassem sdrawkcab dna thguoht ti saw looc

If you can't decide if this is authentically backwards or not because the words are still in the correct order...

haa haa that really happens to me

i have done just that when the desktop refused to start past the windows welcome screen(see computer will not start in computer furom )

and i almost did when it had a hard disk reading error during startup(just a few hours ago)

both issues fixed though, all was needed was restart after restart after restart. its now fixed

CR: i have done that as well, spent ALL DAY on wp!! this site is addicting!


.............when you go through withdraw when thers a mysql error for more then 15 minutes

-You obsess over your favorite TV shows non-stop.

-You play your video games obsessively.

You see a cat in a cat food commercial, and you know what breed it is.

You know everything about Roger Bannister's life, but nothing about the current pop stars of today.

You buy books by and about Roger Bannister.

You suspect Roger Bannister may have some Asperger's traits.

Almost all of your posts have something to do either with Asperger's, cats or Roger Bannister. (The three most common subjects in my posts.)

As funny as all these comments are, they're totally true!

You might be an Aspie if you stop for a minute to recall the proper etiquette for crossing a street before doing so.

Last edited by nicklegends on 29 Jan 2007, 10:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.