List one NT thing you do not understand.

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LP0rc
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16 Oct 2010, 12:25 am

The one I have been running afoul of lately is something they are calling a joke.

My Grandson's football team lost all three of the games my wife and I went to see. We missed on and it was their best game. My wife said her daughter said that my grandson said we can't go to his games for the rest of the season. Today she said he has a game tomorrow, at which I was surprised and said I thought we weren't supposed to go to his games anymore. At that point she gave me the ugly face, said mean things, and told me anybody would have know that was just a joke.

I don't get the joke. If for whatever reason, rational or not, my grandson has indicated his wishes, why would we go against them? Is the joke that he would never say what was said, or that he said it and we're going to ignore it?

*sigh*

Same thing happens with my wife. "Sod off, I'm not feeling well and in pain from my dental work. I'm just not going to talk to you for a few days". And 5 hours later I am chastised for not checking up on her or giving my usual lunchtime call from work.

Yes, I take things literally. No, I am not faking it to be difficult. Bugger all but the NTs are going to drive me nuts wondering how much of what is meant is the opposite of what is said, or how much of what was said can and should be ignored. I'm going to end up either very aloof or very distrusting.

The funny thing is all the NTs I know really like how I am non-judgemental and listen to them, and accept what they say at face value. I guess that means except when what they mean is not what they say :)



anneurysm
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16 Oct 2010, 12:54 am

Consumer culture, definitely. Why is everyone so obsessed with having the latest stuff when the older stuff just ends up in the garbage and creates more waste?

That, and car culture. Why would you even need a car in the city where there is adequate public transit, especially when you're just travelling by yourself?

Eating meat. I won't even get started on that one. Yeah, I'm a huge left-wing environmentalist. :P


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mephet
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16 Oct 2010, 8:54 am

LP0rc: he was implying you were "giving them bad luck", based on the facts that all the games you went to see failed, but the one time you weren't there (= the one time you didn't bring bad luck), they won. Now of course, in the modern world nobody really believes that, so it was meant as a joke or just a silly remark poking fun at a coincidence. Unless your grandson would be known for being highly superstitious, most NT's wouldn't take it seriously. Hope that cleared it up a bit (:



dreamwalker
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16 Oct 2010, 2:48 pm

WHY on earth is it considered "fun" to drink so much that you throw up, do awkward things, get laughed at, can't get home alone and in the end don't remember anything and get told about the stupid things you did?

Not necessarily "typical" NT, I know lots of people who drink reasonably... but I can't imagine that this is an AS thing to do, since this usually involves parties and such.

And I seriously don't get it.



corroonb
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16 Oct 2010, 2:57 pm

Standing around in large groups and mouthing meaningless nonsense at one another. People take speech for granted and abuse it carelessly. Blah, blah, blah etc.



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16 Oct 2010, 3:31 pm

why NT's in general take so much for granted. To me, light shining on leaves while they are fluttering in the wind makes a beautiful light display that leaves me in awe of that tree.
Most NT's would not even notice that, but if they saw that same tree in their yard, they would want to cut it down because it is too close to the house or something.


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16 Oct 2010, 11:53 pm

This thought has been bothering me for a long time. Why is it that NTs consider sports the only socially acceptable thing to be passionate about? It seems like if you're passionate about anything else, you're considered a "geek". But the behavior of sports fans can be just as ridiculous as the behavior of any other kind of fans.



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17 Oct 2010, 4:53 am

dreamwalker wrote:
WHY on earth is it considered "fun" to drink so much that you throw up, do awkward things, get laughed at, can't get home alone and in the end don't remember anything and get told about the stupid things you did?

Not necessarily "typical" NT, I know lots of people who drink reasonably... but I can't imagine that this is an AS thing to do, since this usually involves parties and such.

And I seriously don't get it.


I do this because it is the only way I can feel normal in large groups.



MizLiz
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17 Oct 2010, 8:50 am

Kiseki wrote:
dreamwalker wrote:
WHY on earth is it considered "fun" to drink so much that you throw up, do awkward things, get laughed at, can't get home alone and in the end don't remember anything and get told about the stupid things you did?

Not necessarily "typical" NT, I know lots of people who drink reasonably... but I can't imagine that this is an AS thing to do, since this usually involves parties and such.

And I seriously don't get it.


I do this because it is the only way I can feel normal in large groups.


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17 Oct 2010, 12:05 pm

Quote:
This is an odd thread, but one thing that strikes me is most of the traits people are refearing too are in everybody, not just NT's. There are people with AS that do the exact things some people have said are traits of NT's and there are NT's which don't do the things some people have outlined. I fear this separation of NT and AS that seams to be evident in this thread is over emphasised


I thought so too. I think this thread should be named ''List one thing what annoys you about people in general''. It'd be a thread to give your personal opinions about what annoys you/what you don't understand about what other people do. Like for example, my mum sometimes says, ''I hate people!'' She doesn't mean she hates every single human on the planet including herself and her family. What she means is she hates the way society is nowadays, and all the greed, and the country being overpopulated, and people's strange irritating ways, and how everywhere she goes is crowded with people. So she doesn't mean anyone personally - she just means she hates people in general because they are everywhere and are too judgemental of eachother these days. You pass people in the street and they look at you if you choose to look odd. Yesterday I was walking around with one velcro on my trainer slightly undone, and everybody who passed literally looked down at the foot. (It's a wonder how other people noticed that, because they are practially noticing a small detail, and I thought only Aspies noticed trivial details).

So anyway, yes I think this thread should be what you don't understand about other people - even non-NTs what aren't Aspies.


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17 Oct 2010, 12:14 pm

I said something about it too a long time ago. This should be "List one thing you don't understand about people."

I also say "I hate people" but I also mean in general. It doesn't mean I hate my husband or my family or my acquaintances.



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17 Oct 2010, 5:02 pm

LifeOfTheSpectrum wrote:
Women hate lyers but you HAVE to lie when they say "does my bum look big in this."
Oh, I agree with you!

I never ask Does my bum look big in this? Because I have a big bum, so of course my bum looks big! :lol:



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21 Oct 2010, 12:20 pm

When people say, ''never speak when you're not spoken to,'' but you see other people suddenly butting their way into someone else's conversation and it's OK.

or

When people say, ''never speak when you're not spoken to,'' and so you quietly sit there in a corner whilst they're all having a conversation completely unrelevent to you (so you know not to butt in), and then suddenly someone looks up at you and says, ''you're quiet. Are you feeling all right?'' or something.


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21 Oct 2010, 12:53 pm

I have always been told it's rude to interrupt but I would see other people doing it. I didn't think it be a problem of me to keep doing it because everyone else does it. People talk and then the next person speaks. But people always get mad at me for doing it and I always say they interrupt too so why can't I.

Then I learned there is some social cue people pick up so they know when it's okay to talk. Then I learned from my ex you have to wait at least five seconds (or was it ten?) to speak when someone else stops speaking. But when you do that and there are other people in the group talking too, they may start talking before you so it's like a contest. First person to wait five seconds gets first dibs to speak next. :lol:

So is this how it works and I wonder how people even get to speak due to the five second rule without not being able to speak because someone else speaks up before them.



thingfish11
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21 Oct 2010, 3:48 pm

Mindless Telephone Talk - The Phone is a tool, use it as such. Plan, coordinate, inform. It's not an entertainment device.
The Need to Collaborate - I'd much rather do it wrong 5 times than ask you and do it right the first time.
Vehicles Linked to Status - What the hell? It transports you and your stuff. So what.
Social Hierarchy - Giving different treatment to people for arbitrary, even bad, reasons.
Strict Gender Roles. You can't be masculine in every way but enjoy pretty, dangly earrings without some sort of judgment being made.

It is hard for me to convince them that I know stuff. Even areas of intense interest to me. I think that since this has always been a problem for me, My anxiety about it makes the conversation even more strange to them, as if I am overzealous about a small point for no apparent reason. It becomes more about making sure they believe me than what we are talking about.



LK
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22 Oct 2010, 12:57 am

This is something only some NTs do, and I suspect some NTs might be baffled by this behavior as well.

I do not understand why certain outgoing NTs will, to someone they see frequently but do not know personally, introduce themselves in a very friendly manner, give the explanation or justification for the introduction that they see the other person a lot and wanted to say hi, then leave before anything other than names are learned, with no intention, or at least no follow through, of ever speaking to the person again.
(Someone did this to me today. To be fair, this one may have intentions of saying hello to me again. I have not had the chance to find out yet.)


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