So I searched and this post came up. I have read your answers, and I'm going to risk annihilation and give my own answers.
I too wondered why everyone on here seemed so "Pro-Aspie"??? Was there something I was missing???
I do not like being an Aspie (after 53 years of enduring it) because:
1) I would get a lot more productive things done, like weeding my garden so my front lawn didn't look like nightmare on Elm St. if I could 'put down' my special interests. But there is always "one more thing" I have to look up which in the end contributes nothing to anything (except my collections of facts). And at the end of the day the lawn is still a mess and growing wilder.
2) I could take a job somewhere other than where I am (which is NOT in private industry is all I will admit) which would make me more money. AND be more rewarding intellectually. I am 'smart' but I can't use it they way others can. It's like the program was installed but I can't get it to run properly. My intelligence has bugs and there is no anti-malware that can clean them up. I would also trade some IQ points for normal social skills. And yes, I have tried private industry and it's obvious I do not 'fit in'.
3) I like being alone BECAUSE I am an Aspie and I cannot tolerate chatter, or even the presence of other people most times. I HAVE TO compensate at work by blocking them out, so I no longer hear them in order to function. (So I do not get fired.) I would much prefer to not be so bothered by the presence of other people, and capable of functioning whether they were there or not. I could function more frequently at a more productive level, I am sure. There are too many instances on a regular basis that I do NOT do something because "someone else distracted me, was talking to me, was in the next room making a noise or watching TV, etc, etc."
4) I would like to be able to cook, let's say much better than I do. Unlike the Rain Man I can work the toaster oven. But it would be nice NOT to burn everything because I wandered away while it was cooking to do something else, like get on the computer. All I can do after YEARS of trying is follow a recipe literally. I can't tell if it's wrong, or if the person who wrote it left something out. I can't figure out how to 'improve it'. I can't tell what it will be like until after I make it. And I usually can't keep from burning it!
5) I have a memory that is extremely difficult to access. Things are in there, but pulling them out when I need them is almost impossible. Like in a conversation. I would like to remember while I was talking to someone the things I needed, instead of a week later.
6) I would like to actually know what people DID expect to hear, instead of having a lifetime of saying things they did NOT behind me. I am honestly not trying to insult them, or upset them. I do not need to see "The Look" one more time. It's the look I get, that is followed by the glance over the shoulder (looking for a way out), then the step backward (distancing themselves to make a break). It's a dance I'm way too familiar with.
7) I have emotions and feelings, and I am a 'nice' person, and I wish I knew how to make people see that? I wish they did not perceive me as being Cold, Stuck-up, and Unemotional. I wish I knew when to jump in (and LIKED volunteering) and do things to help people. For instance: I don't volunteer to cook for a neighbor suffering from brain cancer because I can only bring them burned food (see above.) I am totally mystified as to WHAT someone else would like me to do for them, because the only thing you can do for me that I would like is leave me alone! So I am "being nice" by leaving them alone. Only it isn't quite seen that way.
I could go on and on. My ability to focus could make this post 10 pages long all by itself. That's a good thing? Is anyone still awake? I am honest, and have unintentionally insulted many people over the years thereby causing them unintentional pain, and usually losing myself the possibility of their company (even if I only want it sporadically). That's a good thing?
I have managed to live a fairly successful life despite this, but I am constantly aware of my disability and it's downsides. Maybe because I don't sit home, or only engage with other AS people. I probably deal with at least one thing that is negatively influenced [i.e. a problem created I then have to solve] by it every day. Frankly I'm darn tired of being AS! It wears one out!
15 Apr 2010, 7:43 pm
