Never getting to go to college .

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....or he just wanted money to buy booze?

OR, maybe, it's now 8 or 9 am in Cali, and the library may be just opening up? IF his situation is as he has described, he does not have the luxury of jumping on the computer whenever he feels like. Let's give him a bit more than 12 hours to respond, before we conclude that he isn't going to.

I would assume it's the clock thing. I'm just now back on for my am check, and library access would be more limited. Perhaps not available at all for weekend or after 5 or so on Friday; all the cities in CA have cut back on hours a lot.

Plus, well, I think any normal person would need at least a day (bare minimum) to digest that all. There would be a lot of fears to conquer and momentum to move past; it doesn't just happen.

I can't say I'm confident ASS-P will able to overcome inertia and accept, or even seriously investigate, this opportunity. I just hate to see so many people not even taking reality (timezones, for example) into consideration, and expecting an immediate response.

It's a pretty grand offer, and you're right, it's a lot for him to take in. Heck, I'm still boggled by it, and I'm not the one that has to consider it! If he has been being kicked around and mistreated the way he describes, it is natural that he'll be suspicious of her intentions - I would be, too. As they say, if something sounds too good to be true, and all that. It's in his best interests to verify that the offer is real before agreeing to jump in a car with a stranger for a cross country trip - although her immediate willingness to involve the cops goes a LONG way toward establishing her credibility. I just hope he realizes that an offer like this is extremely rare, and worthy of very serious consideration. Either way, accept or reject, this is a major decision for him, and he shouldn't be slammed for not making a snap judgment.

Personally, I'd be contacting her by PM and VERY, VERY politely inquiring if she would consider giving me her phone number and accept a collect call so we could speak directly.

Why can't she come up to me with some lonley female she meets and just hook me up right there.

kidding



I can honestly say I have never really seen anything like this though.....im really impressed

The offer is real and on the level.

I will say though, if ASS-P isn't open and honest with me and my family, he won't be sleeping under the same roof as my two little girls. I'm not taking chances with their safety. He has to be very open and honest with me/my family.

As in, I do want to at least be able to confirm that he is who he says he is (obviously via pm) and check that he isn't some guy with a string of criminal convictions associated to drugs and/or pedophilia.

The offer is on the table - but it's not an unconditional offer. If he has a history of violence, drugs, drink, and pretty much any other criminal activity that would risk my family's safety, then he's not welcome here.

If he is a genuine guy that's simply fallen on hard times, my family is here. There's a room upstairs he can call his own, food in the fridge and a car in the driveway he can use - when he gets his license again.

I hope he is on the level.

As for his last post regarding a new suitcase and a book to read while he travels, I'm not sending him any money at all. If he needs something/anything, I'll be buying it with my money. I'm not falling for the whole "but I need money for this and that", and then he vanishes off the face of the planet in some drunken haze - not gonna happen.

Knowing me.....i'd be VERY suspicious. I must admit it DOES SOUND too good to be true. All sorts of nightmarish scenarios would be running through my mind.

For instance....I would wonder if Fixer Girl and her husband were serial killers like Karla Holmolka and Paul Bernardo.


Maybe they'd sexually torture me and grind me into Italian/German/Jewish/Serbian sausage.


I guess i'm too much of a cynic and a misanthrope. The more rational part me realizes there ARE people out there as generous and kind-hearted as Fixer Girl likely is. They may be as rare as Charlie Sheen's moments of sobriety....but they do exist.

Let's also take note of the fact that he has seen my offer, and his response - so far - can be described many ways, and none of them as polite, respectful, or thankful.

There is a shelf life to my patience, and he's using it up quickly.

I'm offering help. I'm not offering to be his emotional punch bag - regardless of whatever personal issues he may have. His issues are not to be confused as my issues. As in, I'm not going to be his councilor/therapist. If he wants to whine and complain about how the help he wants isn't coming in the format he would prefer, he is welcome to wait for someone that'll hand him what he wants, when he wants it and with a 'by your leave'. Me? I don't work that way. With two little girls, my family isn't going to walk on eggshells for fear of upsetting his sensibilities.

I really hope that makes sense.

How exactly do you expect me to react to what you have just written about me and my family?

We are offering help, and you seem to be obliging us to prove our innocence as if we are on trial - where do you get off doing that?

I have stated that my husband is serving in the military, hard to do if you're a serial killer.

Me? Well I have a greencard - which you can't get with a criminal record of any kind. I underwent a full background check through the FBI before I was granted permanent residence status.

Frankly, what you have written says a lot about you and nothing about me and my family.

ASS-P is homeless, with no money, food or medical care. How does your 'stirring sh't' help him in any way?

BTW....I already apologized to Fixer Girl and I guess I owe an apology to RichardBenson too.



I went overboard with my defense of ASS-P and my subsequent name-calling directed towards you guys.


I have a strong sense of justice and I truly hate cruelty and abuse towards all living beings more than anything else in the world. I was terribly abused and bullied in K-12 and I think these experiences influence everything from the way I deal with people to my political views (i'm a Libertarian Socialist.... simply put...I am always for the underdog and the oppressed in society.)

My own convictions and attitudes can backfire on me though and this isn't the first time i've made a fool of myself in an overkill attempt to defend others and/or myself.




Still....I don't think there was a need to be so harsh with ASS-P. Maybe i'm wrong....but I just don't think it makes anything better for him or anyone else involved.


Anyway... I am sorry RichardBenson

If he doesn't end up getting along with you, The Haven's gonna get very interesting...
Good to know you won't put up with any shenanigans, though. Pity can be very destructive sometimes.

Oh jeez....I put my foot in my mouth again Fixer Girl. I was just kidding. I thought I was being lighthearted although in morbid sort of way. I have a warped sense of humor. I am sorry.....I truly meant no offense whatsover. I really don't think you could possibly be a serial killer or anything like that. In all seriousness though.....the reality of the situation is that there ARE people like that out there though they are fortunately few and far between as well. They can be very manipulative and they fool even the most intelligent and "street smart" people. Look at Ted Bundy.....EVERYONE thought he was a smart and handsome young law student and he was a devil in a masterful diguise.



Anyway.....I am again very sorry. If I had the slightest idea you or anyone else would take offense to this....I would've never posted it

You are right, pity can be a very bad thing.

My family isn't offering any form of pity, just help. He's a full complete person who doesn't need our help to grow emotionally, he just needs a bed, some food, a little medical care and a chance to begin again - and that's what we are offering.

It's also worth noting, I have a copy of the library hours for ALL of the libraries in San Francisco. He's been posting at the library way out of hours.

If someone offered me a home and a new life, I'd be on the forum as soon as the library opened - that's an hour and a half ago.

Adding this in for everyone to see - http://sfpl.org/pdf/libraries/sfpl421.pdf

Last edited by Fixer_Girl on 06 Nov 2010, 1:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

No worries.

You make a good point.

We're (you and me) are cool.

Sorry....i'm a dumba** sometimes. I often say inappropriate things that I honestly think are perfectly benign and even funny. I have alienated quite a few people with this sort of crap

I'd be scared too. No offense to anyone. Moving outside of my comfort zone once caused me an extreme amount of anxiety and couldn't handle it. All that change, and living with new people, would be something hard for me to handle even if I was homeless.

It's an amazing deal though.

In a way, I am too. I have an interpretation of Christ that I've put together as well. Not that I'm a fundamentalist or trying to preach. I just think about it and picture it in my head all the time. It's the only thing which has helped me.