Which have it harder? Male Aspies or female Aspies?

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That is not really true. Often, I'm just staring at nothing in particular, and someone happens to walk across my line of sight. For some reason, they feel that they have to make eye contact with me and when I notice this and look in their direction, they glare at me. It does make me feel rather unwanted.

I think men can retaliate without being considered ''weird'' by other people. I don't know if it's a typical Aspie symptom, but I very highly irritated very easily, especially when I'm out in public, and I would just love to stand up one day when someone's being really annoying and shout something at them. I've seen men do it, but never women. Once on the bus a boy was listening to his iPod really loudly and a bloke sitting on the back seat shouted at the top of his voice to him, ''can you turn your music down, please?! !! I can hear it all the way from over here!! ! It’s just really annoying!! !'' People looked behind at the row, but nobody was frightened or glaring at the bloke fearfully or even laughing at him. The boy turned his music down and it was all over. But if that had been me shouting like that to somebody, blimey! I'll never hear the end of it. I bet everyone would turn around and look at me then keep giving me looks throughout the whole duration of me being in the same destination as them. They'll probably think, ''whatever's got into that stroppy girl?'' and then I'd wish I had never retaliated.

Conversely, it's easier to be a female Aspie when it comes to emotion. Females are allowed to cry, but when males cry people get creeped out (I do not know why). Once when my older brother was crying from depression, my mum was really angry and yelling, ''why are you crying for at 23 years old?! !'' But I often cry out of anxiety, and my mum gives me sympathy. Also my auntie cries a lot, and it's OK, but if my uncle was crying, everyone would be like, ''what the hell?''
How come females can cry for very little reason, but males look stupid if they cry for very little reason?

Because women are considered overall inferior to men, and therefore men acting "feminine" are seen as inferior to men acting "masculine". As to how each thing gets considered feminine or masculine, that's anyone's guess.

I think boys are seen as the future "captains of the world" (future leaders). And so stoicism and seeming to be unaffected by pain, adversity, and stress is how society trys to train them to be. So, since crying and leadership doesn't go together in most people's minds, it's not acceptable for boys. Girls ironically get more leeway with such stuff because it's assumed they're never going to do anything important.

Part of what OP (original poster) is saying is just about gender stereotypes. That's certainly an issue worth discussing, but I don't believe that having AS makes you less capable of conforming in matters of appearance. There's something to be said about gender stereotypes toward both genders, although at least historically women have dealt with much harsher stereotypes.

Is it socially harder for females with Aspergers because of behavioral stereotypes? It's harder to answer that, and while I hesitate to take a side because I don't know too much about the issue, I'm biased toward thinking males have it harder. The gender roles in romantic relationships, for example, allow females to take the submissive role more often, which leaves the arguably more difficult task of being the aggressor to the male. I've also read about how girls are more likely to be "taken care of" by their peers.

Another post I saw recently proposed that AS is underdiagnosed in girls, which could of course mean many girls miss the benefit of treatment. On the other hand, this might suggest girls are better at faking it.

This is speculative, stereotypical and most probably sexist cods wallop .

You will never be the other sex to know, and thus can't say who has it 'harder' due to not experiencing then judging.

Grow up, stop filling your head with 'if's', 'buts' and 'maybes'. Live in the here and the now.

Also stop with the gender roles and using specifics to try and come up with an answer. Gender roles are nonsense and are programmed into our brains by society, gender roles/sterotypes are lies.

I'd rather look and be like Mick Avory than be look and be like the average hyperwoman of today. A hyperwoman is a female who takes being female to the extreme, and they're bitchy and they swear a lot. If I don't play the game, there's no pressure for me. It's kind of nice. I got my wish.

I can hide my AS. Since I was diagnosed at 8, I spent the rest of my childhood at school judging myself on what I was doing, then looking at the other kids to see if they done the same and if they didn't then it must have been ''an Aspie thing''. So I started to stop doing Aspie things, and although it didn't bring on lots of friendships and made me become popular, I still got a little socially accepted, and from about age 14 onwards I was able to hide the majority of my AS when out of the house, only unintentionally showing some minor traits. But as I got older and went to college then went out to work, I realised that I needn't hide too much AS, because I realised more that everybody was different from eachother. I now try not to be too shy, but I don't try to use false confidence either, because using false confidence when you're not a very confident person can actually throw more traits out of you than actually being a little shy. Being a little shy gives you time to think before you say things, rather than keep rambling on and on about everything what comes into your head, and thinking that this is great confidence when actually people are just getting bored. This works on me - I don't know about anyone else, so I'm not getting on to anyone or anything (since this thread is full of bickering and disagreeing). It's just that nobody at my work knows I have AS. As far as I know, they don't.

Men...hands down.

Most every western culture puts a lot of pressure on men to perform and provide. Weakness is not tolerated...even if it's caused by a disability.

Women don't have that idiotic expectation put on their shoulders like men do.

Well today I met up with a friend who has Autism (I have a milder form than he does, but he is still normal enough to lead an independent life). He stims very bad - always throws his arms up in the air and shakes his hands vigorously, and also makes unusual noises, like grunting and squeaking, and even saliva comes out of his mouth. But I looked around at people to see if anybody stares at him, but nobody was. In fact, I got more looks than he got, and I just walk up straight without no unusual hand movements, plus I was wearing nice clothes (but my friend wasn't - he wears the same top every day, and he does smell a little bit of unwashed clothing). I just thought for someone acting quite different, and for NTs in general being critically afraid of people who look or behave differently, I just would have thought that typically people's attention would be drawn on to him.

But I bet you that if I did go out swinging my arms about and flapping my hands and wearing unwashed clothes, I bet I'll get more people staring at me than ever. I've had 2 girls sniggering at me in a shop once because I kept on looking at my watch - which is doing much less than if I was flapping my hands about.
My mum knows a woman with two grown-up children, (a boy and a girl), and they both have Down's Syndrome, and although they are quite independent, they are rather embarrassing too. They always sound as though they're really drunk - which they're not, and they shout in a slow babble, and when they get excited they jump up and down flapping their hands. But I've been with both of them, and I caught more people staring and sniggering at the girl more than they do the boy.

Once again, don't call me a stereotypical offender, when actually I have been explaining only what I've seen, not what I think.

Notice a pattern?

Many of the males are saying males have it harder.
Many of the females are saying the females have it harder.

It's purely perspective.

I don't think Aspergers discriminates based on gender (or race).

I agree, purely perspective.

This is purely based on observations and anecdotes, but I'm inclined to think that both do.

Motor skill problems would affect the ability of AS boys to join in with sport and 'rough-and-tumble' play; social difficulties would affect the ability of AS girls to join in with all the elaborate, socially-orientated games that most NT girls seem to take great pleasure in.

AS males might have their difficulties dismissed with the suggestion that struggles with empathy and reading people are 'just a male thing'; AS females might have their difficulties dismissed with the suggestion that social anxiety and a greater inability to handle stress than most are 'just a female thing'.

AS men might be treated with greater contempt for displaying vulnerability or being unable to hold down a job; AS women might be treated with greater contempt for displaying social awkwardness and for not exhibiting the readiness with people that's often taken for granted in women.

About the only 'female-orientated' problem that an AS person might have in dealing with life I can think of that can't be paired with a 'male-orientated' equivalent would be the fact that AS and other ASDs are often thought of as 'male conditions', and so women and girls on the spectrum can be overlooked.

By the same token, though, the only 'male-orientated' problem that those with AS can encounter that doesn't seem to have a 'female-orientated' equivalent would be the fact that gender roles surrounding relationships place greater expectation on males to pursue, rather than be pursued.

All seems to break even in the end, to me...

I choose I really don't know but I was surprised when it turned out to be both never expected that.

Its hard for both plain and simple no one has it worse regardless if your a boy or a girl

Oh what kind of tool is THAT!? How pitiful!

A steal bat with diamond spikes! Now that would work much better.