What Annoys You The Most About NTs?

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14 Jul 2011, 7:03 pm

One thing I can't stand about NTs, is the fact they can never be completely honest. There is always some hidden agenda, its never simple with NTs, its always complicated. I hate mind games, and yet 90% of the NTs I meet always has some veiled meaning in their language. Always something they aren't saying, its so confusing.

I also can't stand how they make assumptions about me and personality, based off of just my body language or eye contact. I'm much smarter than I look. You can't understand the person completely just by how they look, thats stupid.

And lastly, NTs and there obsession with social status. They search for status and materialistic possessions,subjugating their own personality for the benefit of social superiors, who don't really appreciate them, and wonder why they are miserable inside. they are emotionally fragile inside, trying to fill up that empty hole in their soul with useless trinkets. Any emotionally mature person will tell you that only kindness and compassion for your fellow man can make you happy. Yet. NTs avoid this, instead they waste there time pursueing unfulfilling jobs and hanging out with people that don't apreciate them for who they are, NTs are emotional masochist, pushing away those that love them, and clinging to the abuser. Its sad, this world would be a better place if people put honesty and compassion above all else.

AnonymousPasserBy
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14 Jul 2011, 8:13 pm

^he's right about every single thing.

MrXxx
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14 Jul 2011, 8:17 pm

Dox47 wrote:

The same things that annoy me about Aspies...

I thought about saying that.

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17 Jul 2011, 6:31 pm

Their not as intelligent as I.

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31 Jul 2011, 7:52 am

irishwhistle wrote:

Well, a lot of us get to feeling so isolated among the people around us that it comes to seem that... well, this has been said before. It's the feeling that everyone is in on a joke but you. Everyone, NTs, Aspies, whoever, knows how bad it feels when you realize, when you go from having gone on for years maybe thinking you were laughing with people who turn around and laugh at you when you leave the room. Most of us have had that happen while we were in the room. Add to that all the people who seem to be angry at you for just being who you are, and finally the recognition that you would have to put on an act, pretending to be someone completely different, before you could be found acceptable, much less liked, and the point finally arrives.

It becomes easy, then, to settle into the place that seems to have made itself for you without your leave or awareness, and that place is the marble outside the circle, the square peg, the black sheep, the thing that is outside. And if you are the one thing outside, everyone else is inside. And why is that? If you are then classified as something fundamentally other than they are, Aspie, and that means that everyone who has never accepted you, who has laughed at you, or even been angry at you because of the traits associated with AS is classified as NT, and then you get a thread like this.

But perhaps more a fair way to say it is, What do you hate the most about the mean and unaccepting people around you?

But that's not as catchy.

This.

I've experienced and seen most of the things that have been mentioned in this thread. However, I have been lucky enough to find exceptions to all of them. I have met NTs who do not judge, who do not insist I must go out and meet people, who understand when I need some alone time, who are nice, who are honest and who enjoy the peculiarity of my mind.

These people may not be the majority, but they certainly exist and we should not estrange them from us by saying bad things about all NTs.

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31 Jul 2011, 9:13 pm

Markmagnum wrote:

Most NTs are not really satisfied with their lives. There is a constant battle "to out do the Jones" and get one up on your neighbour. Our modern society we have evolved what George Orwell would describe as "newspeak". A kind of commercial sector way we use language that is framed with political correctness. Beneath the veneer of diplomacy NTs are still wanting to act on their urges even if they don't want to express their true nature/feelings/cognition/values. This is where the confusion between what NTs say in public or in conversation and what they actually do causes confusion to those of us living by a code of being honest and up front.

Having said this not all NTs are duplicitous or two faced, just that many exposed to the commercial world develop traits that hides their inner thoughts - like a Poker face.

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31 Jul 2011, 9:17 pm

Sweeping all "NTs" into a group and assuming their all the same is as bad as sweeping all Aspies into one group.

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31 Jul 2011, 10:14 pm

I think this thread is the stupidest one I've seen on WP.

marshall
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01 Aug 2011, 1:03 am

MrXxx wrote:

Dox47 wrote:

The same things that annoy me about Aspies...

I thought about saying that.

I'm not immune to being annoyed by people on the autism spectrum either... Really, I'm about as distanced from most other "aspies" as I am distanced from most NT's. I get along with and can relate to intelligent, thoughtful, tolerant, NT's as well as "aspies" with those qualities.

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01 Aug 2011, 1:35 am

Spazzergasm wrote:

I think this thread is the stupidest one I've seen on WP.

I think that's unfair. Many people on WP have little or no social contact with NTs outside of their parent's, family, doctor or therapist. For many they will go through their entire lives never having an NT friend.

The reality is NTs at school are bullies and do ostracize kids with ASD. Why can't Aspies or Auties get it off their system - what annoys them about NTs?

Having established what annoys them, then the next step is to acknowledge good things many millions of NTs do for society and the world (often starting with their own parents). It's important acknowledge that while there are many good NTs there are probably plenty of annoying Aspies out there as well.

I think threads like this can be therapeutic even if the premise is questionable.

Spazzergasm
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01 Aug 2011, 1:44 am

cyberdad wrote:

Spazzergasm wrote:

I think this thread is the stupidest one I've seen on WP.

I think you may be right about the therapeutic... But really, why can't they make a thread about specifically bullies, then? NTs aren't bullies. Bullies are just statistically more likely to be NT.
And if they don't know NTs, they especially shouldn't be particularly judgmental!
I may very well be an NT, and I don't like seeing all this mean stuff.

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01 Aug 2011, 1:55 am

Sometimes, minorities find it frustrating living around and dealing with the majority. Sometimes, it's cathartic to vent about those frustrations.

But, and this is the important point: If it's not about you, it's not about you. It's about the person making the complaint.

This thread is not a sign of people on the autistic spectrum who go out hating and hating on NTs all the time. I suspect most have friends and family members who qualify as NT (I know I do) and do not hate them (I know I do not).

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01 Aug 2011, 1:59 am

Spazzergasm wrote:

But really, why can't they make a thread about specifically bullies, then?

True

Spazzergasm wrote:

NTs aren't bullies. Bullies are just statistically more likely to be NT.

True

Spazzergasm wrote:

And if they don't know NTs, they especially shouldn't be particularly judgmental!

Unless they have had bad experiences with specific NTs. This forum is a great place for those on the spectrum to open up what's happening to them. Its also an opportunity for you to correct them and demonstrate that you are willing to listen and offer help rather than dismiss what they are saying as irrelevant.

Spazzergasm wrote:

I may very well be an NT, and I don't like seeing all this mean stuff.

All the more reason

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01 Aug 2011, 2:03 am

Neither of these are true for the entire group, however, they are the things that cause me to pull away strongest from the groups of people as a whole, because of having had it happen too often.

The thing that bother me most about NTs is them asking "But how do you feel about that?" and trying to force me to speak about my emotions. It was not until after I got my diagnosis that I was able to find the word for alexithymia, and some of my worse breakdowns have been from people not understand that I don't know how to translate my emotions into words and trying to force me to give them words their understood until I just couldn't take it anymore and completely retreated unable to do anything at all.

The thing that bothers me most about others on the spectrum, is their narrow-minded view that their variety of experiencing life is the only way to experience life - that their beliefs and their definitions must be the correct ones.

Luckily for me I've found exceptions to both of these even though I am still scared of trusting people as a whole.

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01 Aug 2011, 2:05 am

Verdandi wrote:

This thread is not a sign of people on the autistic spectrum who go out hating and hating on NTs all the time. I suspect most have friends and family members who qualify as NT (I know I do) and do not hate them (I know I do not).

True, but there are many who do not know any NTs. There is in psychology a ingroup Vs outgroup mindset that makes it easy for NTs to mentally dismiss a a person with disabilities as not part of the ingroup. Surely this is going to be a source of frustration, particularly for those on the highest end of the spectrum who wan't to be part of the ingroup.

While it isn't healthy to hate NTs as a group I can easily understand the emotion given how it must feel to be isolated and feel a sense of ostracism.

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01 Aug 2011, 3:02 am

cyberdad wrote:

Spazzergasm wrote:

I think this thread is the stupidest one I've seen on WP.

The reality is that, at school, there are NT bullies and they ostracise kids with ASD. That, I think, is the key issue of this thread. I don't think I've ever seen a kid who is bullied by every single NT he knows. The problems initiating social contact really hurt here: if you do nothing, you will find that most people who talk to you are mean and cruel because that's the kind of people that seeks out contact with loners and Aspies.

I agree that a thread like this can be therapeutic. There are things that annoy me, even about my parents. But I'm not sure everyone understands or believes in the premise that not all NTs are like this, and I could certainly understand it if some people feel offended by it. I imagine most Aspies would be rather unhappy if all the NTs made a thread somewhere here complaining about Aspies and generalising in the same way.

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