Would you abort your baby if...

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I want an NT child. I don't want the same heartbreak my mother gets, of the child not having any friends at school and being teased or bullied, and having difficulties when becoming an adult.

Yes, I know NTs can have all of that aswell, but at least the majority of NTs don't give off all these vibes even when they have learnt how to act normal and fit in and pass off as NT.

It scares me because it's like there's no such thing as an Aspie in disguise, no matter how NT you're acting, even if you're acting so NT that you even surprise yourself, stupid people can still pick up on it since stupid bodies have to be all about vibes. So, no, I don't want a child who is also going to go through life putting up with this s**t, no matter how high-functiong he or she is. And other disorders I don't know much about, so I'm just talking about AS here. I don't want my child to have ANY disability, I just want it to be an average NT with average social skills.

I pass for NT all the time. It's only another Aspie that picked up on mine. Sure, there's such a thing as an Aspie in disguise.

I know that you are probably still thinking about that one post that talked about how we give off vibes. We don't all give off those exact same vibes that the poster was talking about. He was talking about some of us (and also some NT's) who give off vibes of being afraid and easy to push around. I give off the opposite kind of vibe and I'm diagnosed AS. Then again, I'll walk just about anywhere at any time of day without being afraid. Especially if I'm armed. I have better sense than to do it, but if I had to, I would.

We do not all give off a vibe that says "aspie" or "victim". Many of us do, but then again so do many NT's.

Please don't let that one post convince you that people will always know or will pick on you! You are too nice to give up that easy.

Why?

I'll agree that forced sterilisation is wrong. Why is eugenics wrong, per se?

I don't really understand why people are so outraged about this. Without knowing the full extent of the conversation, I will say that having a child who is abnormal in some way (negative, positive or both) does generally entail additional work and hardship on the part of the parent/s. Why is wanting to avoid this so bad?

Wow, thanks, OliveOilMom. That has actually helped me a bit with my social anxiety problem.
I'm an Aspie in disguise. I don't flap my hands or dress unusual or do anything else that's really notable. Even when I feel anxious or uncomfortable I still keep my hands by my sides or crossed, so I try not to make anything too obvious. So hopefully my vibes are just ''I am a shy person'' vibe, or could even be ''I am a nice friendly person'' vibe. I don't see why people would laugh at me because of that.

OK, I've gone a bit off-topic here, but thanks again for making me feel better.

I think what happened is that at one point it looked like the child was going to be born with anencephaly a birth deformation that often kills the baby quickly after it's born. The mother didn't abort when she found out, but some people do. Now it could've just been a mistake on the doctors part, but the deformity ended up being mild brain damage and not debilitating or killing like anencephaly often is. It might not have even actually been anencephaly they could've been wrong from the get go. Sometimes you have to hold out for that miracle or stroke of luck, because you just never know.

As an Aspie with high awareness and obsessiveness, the worst possible thing I could do is put someone else on this planet. I wouldn't want to anyway, I hate kids and generally hate life, but I think it's very selfish for Aspies and Autistics to voluntarily have kids and continue the torture. (Not saying NTs are better than us, but saying that it's their world and asking an Aspie/Autistic to survive in such a cruel place is unthinkable.)

Yeah. Misdiagnosis does happen--the tests aren't perfect. Anencephaly is a 100% fatality rate--though it's possible to have something called hydranencephaly, where the brain is partly or completely missing, but and the skull is closed and filled with cerebrospinal fluid; and that tends to be much more survivable--into childhood or sometimes even more, if there are sections of the brain remaining. So, if you were to abort, you could be throwing away years with your child--not just days.

It's really ironic, but the false-positive rates of prenatal tests probably result in the abortion of more NT, non-disabled fetuses than disabled ones. If you have a disorder that affects, say, 1 in 1000 infants, and your test has a false-positive rate of only a tenth of a percent, then about half the time your test says the fetus has the disorder, it'll be wrong and the fetus will actually be perfectly healthy. That's with a reasonably accurate test, too. Not that I'm against prenatal testing; it's useful because you can monitor and plan for any problems that result, if you know what's going on. But eugenic abortion is totally unethical.

I'll say it again: why?

I'm not agreeing or disagreeing. I just want to know the reasoning. Would it still be unethical if the prenatal tests were 100% accurate?

Then it would be wrong for anyone to have children, as life is suffering. It would also be selfish for any minority to have children in a place where minorities are persecuted, so saying this is really just giving into eugenics in a subtle way. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I am not just going to sit and watch as my world ends, I'm not going without a fight. I like living and I wouldn't have it anyother way.

Quite a lot of people subscribe to that philosophy, you know.

However I can tolerate suffering, its a small price to pay for the joy of life.

Also, then wouldn't the least selfish thing to do would be to kill as many people as possible so they don't have to suffer anymore?

I'm an Aspie with 4 kids. How was it very selfish for me to voluntarily have those kids? Those kids aren't tortured. Hell, I wasn't ever tortured, I only had a really, really rough time in life until I was about 16 or 17, then it started getting somewhat better.

I never wanted kids and during my first pregnancy I was pretty ambivilant but as soon as I saw him born, I fell in love much deeper than I could have imagined. It's not that way for every mother or parent, of course. I'm not saying it would be for you. That's just how it was for me.

So, how was it selfish of me to have 4 kids? They are NT if that matters to you, and it sounds like it might.

Look, I suppose we're all different with different opinions. Some don't mind bringing more Autistic children into a world what's not for Autistic people, some prefer to bring up an NT child and share typical problems with other parents. Any objections to that?

I I hate parsnips, they make me gag, urrggh, the taste, the smell, everything! I love pasta and cheese, my favourite dinner in the whole world. But I'm not going to argue with people who loves parsnips because it's their choice and their liking, not mine.

Same sort of thing goes to what this topic is about too.

I've never had parsnips, but I've heard of them. I don't think they sell them down here. What are they like?

As for pasta and cheese, I have many recipes for that and also a recipe for the ABSOLUTE BEST MACARONI AND CHEESE IN THE WORLD - yes I meant to shout about that

PM me for the recipes if you want them. The mac and cheese one is made in the crock pot and it's very easy, even for someone who doesn't cook often. The most complicated thing in it is boiling the macaroni and draining it before putting it in the crock pot. Then you put in your other ingredients, turn it on, and it's done in four hours.

I agree about the abortion topic. Everybody has a different opinion. We are all allowed to have them. I like debates, and would love to debate reason's why people feel they do on topics and have my reason's questioned like that too. It's fun, as long as the people can remain friends. I consider forum members "virtual friends" even if I'm not familiar with them or their posts, so I don't (or try not to) take anything personally in these debates. Or be mean.

One of my really good friends in the past was a very, very rabid pro-lifer. (She even described herself as "rabid" about the topic) She actually supported the idea of shooting the doctors, although she wouldn't do it herself or help anyone who did, she supported the idea of it. She also protested outside the clinics and screamed at the women, etc. This was a topic we couldn't debate about at all. She would get too emotional about it and because it was so important to her, she did take it personally if I questioned anything. Most of our debates were about the changes in the Church. She supported the newer things while I prefer the more traditional Catholicism. She knew my views and I knew hers, but that didn't effect our friendship. It was just something that we avoided discussing. I avoid discussing some things myself, because I get too upset over them and there is no rational debate with me about them.

Don't forget, PM me for the recipes, I guarantee you'll love them! I'm the pasta queen!