However, in high school I was treated like crap by all races and ethnicities. Being a black "genius" with ASD in a diverse high school as well as an "oreo", you're treated like crap by everyone. Everyone wants you to conform and they will hate you if you don't. I didn't conform so I was, therefore, hated with an extreme intensity. I had no friends in high school until I was a senior. I was hated by everyone in the school, including some of the faculty. Especially my band teachers. It kind of sucks, but sometimes teachers will bully students along with the rest of the students. I got over it of course, but it was a traumatic experience. Plus, at the time, I was essentially neglected by my family so it caused me all kinds of problems. I would spend my weekends watching movies on abc and attempting to learn about computers and economics. It was like being in a mental prison, almost. When you can't socialize with people you become something of a recluse and you start to come up with s**t in your spare time. I started doing metaphysics, philosophy, and I also began writing poetry. When you have no friends, making a society which is more accepting of those with "differences" has a value. In high school, I never knew why I wasn't accepted, I didn't know what was wrong with me but I soon realized I was autistic upon getting to college. I also realize that my best "friend" was a super-insecure guy who was trying to control my life. I had a lot of toxic people in my life and because I'm so "nice", I struggled to get them out of my life. Now I'm with a Christian group who is attempting to convert me to their cult, and it's working actually. Being put through so much pain in my life has allowed me to feel great empathy for others who also experience lots of hardship. It makes me slow to punish them because I know how it feels. But sometimes I should be angry and mean towards them. I walk around my college campus thinking I'm the only person who is alive. I wish I could see how I look towards others. I wish I could see how I look so I could get an idea of what it is like to interact with me, what I'm doing wrong.