Do you ever catch people staring at you? How do you feel?

Page 6 of 7 [ 101 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next

Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

17 Mar 2011, 10:31 am

I suppose it would feel like a lonely world if everybody kept their heads down and never looked at anyone, like zombies. Sometimes you've got to look at people to get a clear observation of what's going on. I mean, the person who's probably just stared at you was probably staring at somebody else nearby before they stared at you. It just feels like it's you all the time, since it's on your mind, and this applies to me aswell. All this ''everyone's looking at me'' fad is playing on my mind each and every time I go out. Being self-conscious about whether you're looked at or not is normal within people - my NT auntie hates walking home from work in the summer evenings when it's light because she feels that she's on show and everybody's looking at her as she walks through the town at the rush hour time. I know how she feels.

The other day I was with my mum in the town, and I caught this woman really staring at me, and I whispered to my mum, ''that woman was staring at me,'' and my mum said, ''yeh I know, she stared at me aswell like I've got 2 heads.'' I didn't see her staring at my mum, only me, but I suppose it's hard to tell when somebody is staring at somebody else in the street. Well, I don't take a lot of notice of who's staring at who - I just catch them looking at me.


_________________
Female


anbuend
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jul 2004
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,039

17 Mar 2011, 10:59 am

I genuinely get stared at a lot, but I don't notice usually so it doesn't bother me.

(I get stared at apparently because I use a wheelchair, and before that because I had an odd way of moving and reacting to things.)

Well, actually, I either get stared at or I get people doing that thing where they think it's so rude to stare that they pointedly don't look at me or even near me at all.

(Again, from others' accounts of the matter.)

My whole life I've heard "Can't you see people are staring?" as a reason to stop doing something odd, or to start doing something "normal" that I'm not doing. And I've heard it a lot from a lot of different people. As well as people just mentioning it (with no intent to get me to do something differently). And this may motivate other people to do things differently, but it doesn't motivate me at all.

Sometimes I can see if I'm being stared at, but generally I have to be doing nothing else at the time. Like I can't even be maneuvering my wheelchair by myself, someone has to be pushing me, otherwise my sightings of staring is quite rare. But when I am in a position to see, it happens constantly like a lot of people tell me. (Well, both the stare, and the "don't stare at all costs" look.)


_________________
"In my world it's a place of patterns and feel. In my world it's a haven for what is real. It's my world, nobody can steal it, but people like me, we live in the shadows." -Donna Williams


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

18 Mar 2011, 6:07 am

I smile at people in wheelchairs, and make them think that they're just as good as anyone else. Also I hold doors open for them, and I always move over to the side of the pavement to let them by.


_________________
Female


Pinchy
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 73

18 Mar 2011, 6:30 am

People stare at me all the time. M didn't believe me for a long time but even he now admits that some people stare at me. I don't like to be stared at. Which is why I am trying to look less serious and smile more when I am out and about...



Josieposie
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 56

18 Mar 2011, 12:14 pm

Last year I missed my coach home from university, and ended up crying (not inconspicuously) at the station. Afterwards when I was sitting hiccupping and puce on the floor, some randomer came up and took a photo of me on their phone. Ok my behaviour was not normal but it did seem like a bit of a nasty reaction. So yeah whenever I do something odd people stare, people ask me if I am lost at university frequently too. It gets annoying. :oops:



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

20 Mar 2011, 8:06 am

Sometimes it depends on what town or city I'm in. In some towns I get looked at more than when I'm in other towns. There is one town I go to for shopping and nobody looks at me at all. Or I don't feel I'm being looked at. But the town where I work at, people look, depending on the weather (if it's raining or snowing or thundering people don't seem to look at me. If it's sunny or cloudy or windy people seem to look at me more - I do not know why).


_________________
Female


b9
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Aug 2008
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,003
Location: australia

20 Mar 2011, 9:52 am

Quote:
Do you ever catch people staring at you?


people would not stare at me if they are falling i suspect. and if i saw someone looking at me as they fell, i would probably decline to catch them.

hmmmmmm yeah.



happymusic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Feb 2010
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,165
Location: still in ninja land

20 Mar 2011, 11:56 am

Yes, people stare at me in restaurants, on trains, shopping, it doesn't matter. I used to get self conscious wondering if I had something on my face or something and I'd check my mirror thinking "wtf?". So after a while I just stopped caring. Let them stare. I still have no idea why they do it.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

29 Mar 2011, 2:30 pm

I had a very bad day today. I had a woman in the bus stop staring at my face for ages. Then I had teenagers making stupid noises at me when I passed them. Then I had a woman deliberately pushing me in the bus when I was waiting to get off, and I knew it was deliberate because she was laughing and pushing on to me more.

I must go out looking like a ret*d, because people only pick on ret*ds. I don't care how mixed up or weird these people might be, they still wouldn't take their insecure behaviour out on a confident-looking person, would they? So the find an unconfident, nervous freak like me and decide to intimidate me instead.

It's another life's mystery, because I go out dressed presentably (skinny jeans, boots, a nice trendy jacket), and hair straightened and brushed, and I walk up straight with a fashionable handbag over my shoulder, and I look normal and grown-up. I even felt in a happy mood today, so I wasn't even pulling an offensive face. (Anyway - so what if I was pulling a moody face? Other people do, and they don't seem to get picked on).

I feel so Agoraphobic now, and having people picking on me all the time makes me feel very low self-esteemed.


_________________
Female


Scanner
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 25 Sep 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 436

29 Mar 2011, 4:57 pm

I notice people staring at me often. It is very bothersome! I don't want to look back and I am forced to look away but I just feel uneasy.



ruveyn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2008
Age: 88
Gender: Male
Posts: 31,502
Location: New Jersey

29 Mar 2011, 5:28 pm

I just stare right back. I get them to blink and turn away.

ruveyn



ocdgirl123
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,809
Location: Canada

29 Mar 2011, 11:14 pm

I find it distracting when people stare and it makes me feel uncomfortable. They stare A LOT.

I find it uncomfortable and a bit awkward to stare at people for a long period of time.


_________________
-Allie

Canadian, young adult, student demisexual-heteroromantic, cisgender female, autistic


nilescrane
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Nov 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 894

30 Mar 2011, 1:12 am

I get either people laughing at me or looking at me and whispering to each other like I'm creeping them out just being in their line of sight. I think this is just because most Aspies look "different" as far as demeanor...the blank look...intense facial features and the like so it causes us to stand out no matter how well we dress or anything.

I'm just thankful that I don't have to go to school anymore or work with employees that would be making fun of me all day.

I also think it's because I'm weird looking...not necessarily ugly...but not regular looking.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

30 Mar 2011, 6:27 am

Quote:
I think this is just because most Aspies look "different" as far as demeanor...the blank look...intense facial features and the like so it causes us to stand out no matter how well we dress or anything

This makes more anxious to go out now, knowing that I look different without even having to do anything. I've been on a shopping spree to buy nice expensive clothes, but what's the point in even trying to make an effort with myself if I get the same looks when looking all grown-up than I would do if I acted like a freak?

How come people at work don't seem to notice my ''freak vibes'' but strangers in public do? I'm quite popular at work, and I've even had NT men asking me out, and thinking I'm normal. And I've been asked to come out for a drink with the girls at work, so I am socially accepted. I don't give out any vibes.

But I don't get it. Even if you do give out vibes or whatever, as long as you're standing or walking like everybody else and wearing nice things, I would have thought people would just think, ''well, he/she is acting the same as everyone else and he/she isn't acting like a hooligan, so he/she can't be that weird or funny.'' Anyway - everybody looks different. Everyone's different shapes and sizes, and some have pretty faces and others look ugly, and some walk slowly, other walk fast, and some wear nice things and others don't.....I can go on forever, so unless I'm acting like a spastic, I don't see what's that different, and any differences I do have surely must be minor.


_________________
Female


glider18
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,062
Location: USA

30 Mar 2011, 6:39 am

NeoPlatonist wrote:
I don't think people look at me that much and I feel uncomfortable when they do. If I randomly became permanently invisible I wouldn't be all that upset.


I can definitely relate to this. As I walk down the hallways where I work, I often wish I could wear that cloaking cape thing that Harry Potter used to become invisible. I often feel uncomfortable when people stare at me. I usually don't know what they are thinking to be staring at me. I enjoy privacy.


_________________
"My journey has just begun."


bumble
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,073

30 Mar 2011, 7:53 am

I don't really notice if people are staring at me. I'm not very observant when it comes to people.