The worst thing a bully has done to you

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I don't know. A lot of stuff happened but most of it had only psychological effect. However, I sometimes suffered material loses too.

In High School I got a spit "shower" every day twice a day. I mean, the bullies used to stand around near the entrance to the school and spit at me from all directions when I was passing through. But I didn't mind that that much...however, cleaning my clothes from spit was a pain.
Well, it stopped after few years, but man was that annoying!

Other then that I remember that I once borrowed a game on a CD to one of my classmates. Next day the were playing football with it and it broke. It was a drawback because back then I didn't know how to use torrents and thus, I couldn't play that game anymore. It was Warcraft 3 so go figure.

Well, my school items tended to break when they were kicking my school bag every now and again but I never cared about my schoolthings so it wasn't a big issue.

And that would be it. I think. The rest had only greater or lesser mental impact, but there is no helping that.
Fortunately I have never sustained any serious physical damage. At least nothing I am aware of.

A second grader (my brother's former friend) once grabbed my boob on the bus when I was in 6th grade because he said it was stuffed. I slapped him and his face was red.

I had a gun held to my head when i was 12, and a fellow student tried to stab me in high school.

I was sexually assualted in a psych hospital once and my Dr didn't belive me when i tried to report it.

My mother phsycally (she beat me with leather belts, yardsticks and wooden spoon because I cried a lot and because I was different from others.) and verbally(she called me a freak) abused me.

In a high school computer class. I probably knew more than the teacher about the topic at hand (while he could barely teach "Hello, World", I was in the more complex stuff)
A group of other kids went out of their way to make my life was miserable
-Constant verbal abuse, including taunting, yelling obscenities, imitation, etc.
-Spamming my e-mail (this was back when everyone used dial-up)
-Injection attacks on the family webpage (this was back in the late 90's, before people knew what a script kiddie was)
-Prank phone calls (they somehow got a copy of my parent's phone number)

I never could figure out that I did to tick them off so much. High school was probably the worst four years of my life

The bullying I experienced was perhaps not so bad as some others here, but it happened continuously for about 10 years, throughout my childhood and teenage years and the long term stresses of this were the worst thing I think.

Name calling was frequent; I regularly experienced social and psychological bullying from ages 5 to 15.

I was physically assaulted about 3 times (although not seriously).

I was completely ostracised by a whole class and the same time bullied and humiliated by the class teacher, age 6, for a year. When I told that same class teacher I had been hit, she refused to believe me and accused me of telling tales, she also stood me in front of the class and humiliated me along with others because I could not do a maths problem, she became angry with me because I was struggling to read (yes the teacher probably should have been fired, maybe now she would be, but not in the 1970s..).

My parents, wrongly, did not intervene because I told them I was worried their intervention would make things worse. Also they were having their own mental problems at the time; my father at the time was on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to his own work pressures, he struggled on through without collapsing - but only just. There was no child-line or other source of help to turn to then.

The worst thing of all about this expereince was what it led me to do to myself:-

- I shut down emotionally.

- I became convinced all bullying was all my fault, and due to something I was doing wrong.

- I became convinced that I could not, and should not, ask anyone for help when I was being psychologically abused and physically threatened by others.

- I then spent a whole year hiding under a set of stairs at every school break / recess because I was convinced I would be physically assaulted (probably I would not have been but I was terrified). By this point at least my class teacher was very kind, otherwise I would probably have completely lost it. Things improved a lot after I broke my arm at school, and teachers finally realised how badly I'd been ostracised, as when questioned other children automatically assumed it was due to a deliberate act by someone, I'd broken my arm, as it was automatically assumed others would try to hurt me deliberately (it was actually a complete accident).

- but I still spent the next three years running out of school the first 800 yards to get past the house of a boy who had threatended to assault me outside of school (as he knew he was not allowed to hit me in school now).

- I became very submissive and non-assertive with others to try to avoid being psychological or physically abused.

What I should have probably done was:-

- insist on help from adults, and keep on trying new adults until someone did finally help

- have been very kind to myself and not blamed myself

- got my parents to take my concerns seriously that NOBODY liked me, and they were ALL being nasty to me, and not to assume it was not as bad as I said

- told my grandfather (who meant well) that no, teasing was not 'toughening me up' and his teasing of me to give me practice of 'getting used to this behavour' was not helping, it was just confusing me, and further undermining my self-confidence.

- if necessary insist my parents got me transferred to another school where I would not be bullied (give my grandfather his due I found out later he did try to get to get them to do this, even though he did not tell me at the time).

I did eventually stand up for myself briefly (age 10) at primary school with the help of a friend I had then, after another physical assault, this had very good results. lessened bullying in the school as a whole, and partly restored my faith in humanity, but by then the psychological damage was well and truly done.


Long term effects of not resolving this at the time which I am still sorting out are:-

- I still get very strongly distressed in any situation where I feel I have been ostracised, rejected or criticised

- all practical jokes and teasing, even if meant kindly, make me deeply uncomfortable

- I self-bullied and self-criticised myself very badly for about 34 years (I'm only just learning to stop this)

- Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder style hyper-vigilance (I'm not sure I actually have complex PTSD but I have some of the symptoms)

- Chronic anxiety (although the roots of this are complex and include other childhood influences as well as bullying)

- Eventual burn-out and Clinical Depression (currently being treated)

- I still find it very hard to stand up for my personal needs, I tend to put other peoples need before mine...assertiveness is stressful for me

I am getting better, and geting help now, but wish more had been done when I was suffering as a child to help me, if it had, I am sure I would not have suffered the same level of mental distress later in life.

If you are being bullied - IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

Do not be afraid to seek help in some way, it is better to do this for yourself, than to suffer in silence. Help could be ringing a helpline for advice, or getting counselling so you have support as well; if the first person you turn to is dismissive, keep trying others until someone helps. You may want to actively try to do something about those who are bullying you; it is much easier to take on bullies if you have some outside support, so do not feel bad about seeking help from others.

If you were bullied, you may want to seek some form of support or therapy for this now, it may help you come to terms with things in your past.

If you are a parent whose child is being bullied, please take this seriously and take active steps to stop it. Please do all you can to protect and comfort your child, even if you find it difficult to get the school to do anything intially; I'm sure your child will appreciate that you are standing up for them and looking out for them.

Well there aren't really any incidents that stick out in particular as the most damaging. But I would say the worst thing bullies in general did was contributed to this mess of a mental state I have now.

More specifically I probably would not be as unassertive, afraid of people, convinced I fail at everything and totally lacking of any real self confidence if it wasn't for them. Also I am sure it made me more vulnerable to PTSD....which is just a lovely disorder I mean what the hell I didn't even get to experience adulthood till after getting the most f****d up disorder in the world(ok maybe not but it sure feels like it sometimes).

Yes, I was bullied. Not to the extent some of you were. Sexual assaults? Being hit with a baseball bat? Nothing that drastic. I was kicked, punched, had things thrown at me, someone whipped me with an arc welding rod once. To be honest, the physical stuff wasn't as bad as the mental stuff. Being told I was ugly, stupid, weak. I think that had a more lasting effect than any bruises I suffered. Although the physical abuse was humiliating too in that I could do nothing to stop it. The teacher's didn't really intervene, and I have such an aversion to hurting people that even if I did have the capability, I would have a hard time retaliating. I was neither strong, quick nor coordinated.

people who pick on people weaker than they are, have a reckoning in their future.

@ Aunt Blabby, Id say more but it hurts so much to talk about what I experienced. I don't want to wake up most days and I seldom leave the house. Life hurts.

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