Why don't people with aspergers look people in the eye?

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Information overload which makes me slow to process the situation, and it makes it makes it hard to focus. Plus, it's extremely unsettling for me; eye contact makes me feel like I'm 'breaking' inside.

Consistent/uninterrupted eye contact during normal conversation is a sign the person staring is trying to "pick a fight" indirectly.

I agree completely with this! Not all other people understand this, yet it's so true. It's almost animalistic. I have had it happen to me.
I've also seen it lead to physical fights, it seems almost primal and animalistic. Humans are but another species in the animal kingdom anyway.


This is also confusing since we are expected to make normal NT eye contact. I can't hold eye contact for long at all. When i do my eye contact is "forced" and i don't think it goes over so well with some people. I feel like i am staring too long or that while i am focusing on making eye contact i may mess my face up... then they'll think i'm looking at them wrong.

It is also confusing as i think some people take it all the wrong ways if i have forced eye contact with them. So i tend to attempt to meet their eyes then try and stay focused in their general direction so they know i am listening.
God forbid the topic bores me, then i will zone out and look like i'm far away. I don't even know where i go, just not there (the Elder Scrolls Skyrim Joric (Idgrod's son) said it well.

There is too much that goes on when communicating, if it's more than one other person forget it, too hard to multitask for me. I can't win when it comes to social skills and i don't expect to ever win. I just don't want to freak out nice people with my lack of skills.

Then when it comes to trying to "read" people... aiiii! Sometimes i can tell if they give off bad vibes. Other times no. It is very scary when someone you thought was nice, really is not and is a sociopath that can blend that well that people don't suspect. (That was the one i had that stared at me bad prior to a fight).

this is weird, I'm not autistic my daughter is but reading this thread this is how I am when looking people in the eye, I can't do it, it feels wrong, it gives me a headache and I feel insecure and can't concentrate when I look people in the eyes, I try my hardest to because I feel people think I'm being rude if I don't but if I look people in the eyes for more than a few seconds my left eye starts twitching and I have to look away...

I drew a guy's blood this morning. He was friendly, compliant, and stared directly into my eyes the entire time. It was unsettling for a moment, but then I thought he might be on the spectrum. I just played nice, did my thing, and we bode a fond farewell. But I couldn't look for more than a few seconds! Maybe he was just told to look people in the eye and overcame the odd feeling. Maybe he's not on the spectrum at all and is perhaps otherwise challenged. But yowzer, I felt all hot and nervous.

I may be in the minority in thinking this, but this is just my experience:

I think for me it has something to do with visual-spatial/sensory issues. It just feels overwhelming. Because doing certain activities (such as video games and sports) temporarily improves it according to my parents. I think it's sensory. I tend to think for many it's more of an emotional issue/lack of certain emotions, but for me, this is only part of it.

When I look at people in the eye, I get an intense discomfort in my eyes, it's quite annoying, so that's why I hardly ever try to maintain eye contact, I mean ill glance at their eyes in an attempt to show them that I'm interested but that's about it.
This is only with people I don't know very well though, with family I can look them in the eye no bother whatsoever.

Been pondering this for a while, I can finally articulate what I do. I try to make eye contact, and as soon as some one looks me in the eye, I immediately look away. A lecturer was talking to me directly, and he was looking at me the whole time. Then it hit me, what I do is I look people in the eye (in the situation where they're looking at me) and I have to look away. Their gaze feels to strong, like my eyes will pop or something. Even in situations like a 1 on 1 meeting, where I tell myself to make eye contact so I don't seem un-confident, I have to look away..like I have to reload my eyes. But I have to do this all the time. I hope that when I come back, their eyes/head have moved away, so I take that opportunity to look at them.

This is probably why I don't have many successful meetings. I literally have this running commentary in my head about eyes, I can't focus on the actual topic. But I don't think I'm in the position where I get distracted by things around me (like I need to watch something) I have spent a long time researching body language (before I even knew about AS, I knew I was a little off, so I wanted to improve it) Body language is literally the only thought in my mind at all times. I copy people to develop rapport, I'm focused on how I present myself, how others are presenting themselves, eyes, tone of voice (should I match theres?)
Have been doing this for a few years, I can't remember what I was like before hand. I'm just so focused on presenting myself as normal, it's where all my focus goes. Hell, I found this forum through searching "pretending to be an extrovert"

Can anyone relate? I feel it's important for me to establish if I'm just a social deviant or if it could be AS. I'm just interested in the eye contact bit for now, if someone can relate it makes beginning to explaining all my sensory issues a hell of a lot easier hah..

I don't look people in the eyes because I know I will have to greet them and force a facial expression if I hold my gaze long enough. When talking to people and I am stressed I can't keep eye contact, when talking to people and i'm not stressed I stare right into their soul and i'm always trying to figure out how much staring is to much.

I've taught myself eye contact but if I could I would avoid it completely.

It's simply too intense. It's on a primal level and something I've experienced my whole life.

For me it feels very intimate, like something you shouldn't be doing with a stranger. I feel like I'm intruding on people when I meet their eyes. I'm fine with people I trust and am comfortable with. I've actually improved on this front, I can make eye contact for short periods of time, but I can't make eye contact and smile at the same time. When I meet someone's eyes and they smile at me, I look away, then smile. I know it's weird, but it just feels SO intimate to look into someone's eyes and smile.

I just find their teeth really distracting.

if i find somebody's eyes too beady or penetrating, i've been known to look at their nose, but sometimes i notice their nasty untrimmed nosehairs which makes me rather prefer looking at their beady eyes, while trying to remember in my replies to them not to mention nosehair.

...until a Freudian slip takes place:
"As much as I agree about *topic*, I think that it's up to the nosehairs to [...]"

I think you have deficits in the connections between your eyes and your brain.

It's simply not important to me. I can't see the difference between looking at the eyes and looking at something else when someone is talking to me. And then, how am I supposed to listen to what they say, if I must pay attention to their eyes? I just look people in the eyes for a few moments, and I can't see why I should do that for more than a second or two. Eye contact with my parents can last a bit longer, even for something like 6-7 seconds, because it feels more natural making eye contact with them.