Christian parenting of a child with ASD

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I can relate. I swallowed the red pill as a kid and no amount of pushing and shoving by parents, teachers, peers etc managed to plug me back into the Matrix. It is a bit like discovering that Santa isn't real; you can't go back and "undiscover" that. Though to be fair, the universe is still absolutely fascinating and an incredible place even if there is no god. One angle that particularly fascinates me is that of emergent properties and emergent systems especially regarding neurology and consciousness. We can now map what regions of the brain are doing what in considerable detail using fMRI scans and we even have insights into the neural activity that results in consciousness; however consciousness itself is an emergent property of this neural activity. If (and it is a huge "if") there is some sort of god, in my opinion such a god would be an emergent aspect of the universe itself. In other words such a "being" would have been formed as part of the evolution of the universe rather than it being the other way around. Some sort of "super consciousness". Certainly not the nasty and narcissistic god of the old testament.

One of the best descriptions I've ever read.

The narcissistic god of the old testament is my second area of disagreement with religion (christianity and other abrahamic religions). Even if there was evidence to believe in god (a big if) I don't see why people would want to worship such a fickle being, the old testament is not a moral book, it is full of shocking things and attitudes.

(e.g noah's ark, often taught as a children's story, in reality would be the worst genocide the world as ever seen, almost every man, woman, child and animal wiped off the face of the earth, we are supposed to worship the being responsible for this atrocity)

The morals aren't based in concern for fellow man they are based in unquestioning obedience to a vengeful god, unquestioning obedience is pretty immoral in my opinion, some of the things it taught happen to also be moral but many are not. I know people say everything changed with the new testament, god somehow decided to forgive people, but really does that make thousands of years of punishing people for 'original sin' ok, and the new testament itself is also dubious in places, the parts about jesus only being there to help the children of israel doesn't seem to be mentioned often, the idea of a benevolent god favouring one face doesn't sit right with me.

Not intended to offend anyone (I apologize in advance if this does)--I came across this a few months ago:

http://www.evilbible.com/

Shocking isn't it! Amazing that anyone would want to worship such an evil vengeful tyrant.

I realise that this thread has gone away from it's original intention of a discussion on Christian parenting of a child with ASD. If people wish to share an on-topic comment, I am happy to read it via my private messaging. Thanks very much for everyone for your contributions. I have come away enlightened.

I think the off topic responses are very relevant, this is the kind of response some people with aspergers will have. A strongly held opposition based on their own inflexible principles based on their logical consideration of the subject. children may struggle to quite articulate it though, so it may cause difficulties that are hard to recognise.

Very true. As a kid I asked lots of questions, though I wouldn't say I was inflexible, merely very inquisitive especially about religion and the responses from adults were almost always very poor; they either simply asserted particular religions teachings from a position of authority "You must simply accept / believe that..." or "I don't know ask someone else" or my mother's usual response "Don't be silly". It was clear that most people who professed to be Christians didn't know their religion very well and hadn't thought things through properly. I remember asking about evolution at Sunday school and almost got thrown out - not that I stayed very long after that; questions weren't appreciated by the pastor. The bottom line was really "Suck it up (Christianity) and don't ask any questions."

One of the principle things Aspies do is black & white thinking. Something either is or isn't. I myself can't think in any middle ground. I'll either want to be friends with someone, or not care less about them, nothing in between.

I guess the conclusion from this thread might be something like:
"An Aspie who can believe, will believe; and an Aspie who can't believe, won't believe."

The above statement is already invalidated by several commenters who grew up in Christian families and who changed their faith at some point. But it's the best i can up with. Feel free to refine the above statement.

On a side note: I'm not upset about anyone who doesn't believe. It's their choice.
I'm more than happy to explain my belief, and why I believe. It's not that I'm trying to convince, or argue my case. And your life is your responsibility. We're all doing our best. It's not my responsibility to convince you one way or another. In fact, it's not my reponsibility to even care if you believe or not. But I'm very black/white in my thinking.

Taffy, am Jewish, not Christian, but raised Orthodox; split from it at 12. My grandfather saw I was bright and was much afraid that reason would do in my observance, and gave me a little booklet purporting to explain various biblical miracles "scientifically". Only a zealot could have taken that booklet seriously, I'm afraid. Nearly 40 years on I go to synagogue for cultural reasons but am a thoroughgoing atheist and increasingly disturbed by what fantasies about Jesus are doing to this country.

Your original question is essentially asking how to raise an ASD child as a believer -- you want, after all, an upbringing founded on faith -- and I cannot see how you can ask the question without intending to propagandize the child. I mean unless you're looking for a sort of ethical-movement answer, in which case you could also ask the Quakers.

I find your comment about "searching for the truth", as though there exists a truth, deeply creepy. This is why bright and reasonable people everywhere draw back from Templeton money.

I was raised by Catholic parents in a very negative environment where I was criticized and rejected for my differences. Religion is no longer a part of my life, but I don't count out God's existence as a possibility, and if he wants to talk to me he can stop by anytime. I don't blame religion itself for my difficulties, because few belief systems are inherently bad; it's all a matter of degree and what role your faith plays in your life. If my parents had cared about why I was different, and looked into it sooner instead of tucking me away in a Catholic school where I was punished for my lack of focus and social skills, I might have had a happier childhood.

So many parents assume that the mere presence or teachings of religion is enough to make them and their children happy. Their heads are so high up in the clouds that they forget what actually makes religion work here on earth. Don't make the same mistake. If you feel you must raise your child in the Christian faith, do so in a strong support system where the people around him are practicing its lessons. If he is raised in a healthy environment, regardless of which (or any) faith you practice, he will probably be okay. But if the child grows up in an environment where he does not feel wanted and loved, then those lessons will not reach him, and all the religious teachings in the world won't make him happy. And that goes for any child, autistic or not.

All you can do is raise your kid in the faith and not be afraid to tackle hard questions and even admit, "I don't know."

Faith is a gift. I'm a believer because I KNOW that science can't answer all questions, and that what God's Word has to say to us is about our relationship with HIM and not about how the universe operates in every detail.

God has proven Himself to me in ways that I accept...at least enough that I cannot explain it all away as coincidence. The odds of a fair coin coming up heads is always 1:2. The odds of a fair coin coming up heads every time increases exponentially. After a while, you must accept there is something more going on to produce such results even though statistically it is certainly possible for it to happen by random chance.

Teach your child to have good morals. To love himself/herself and to love others. Show your child Christ's love working in YOUR life so that your child has a reason to want what you enjoy with God. That's the best thing any parent can do to influence their child's walk in faith.

[quote="LupaLuna"]I think for Christians to accept ASD is a lot like them accepting the gay life style(BTW: their are gay christian churches out there.). The bible clearly states that ASD people are demon possessed and the gay life style is an abomination to god. I don't mean to rude or to intrude, but the bible is very clear about this. So as a man of god, rather then accepting the ASD condition. Why doesn't God just cast out the demons rather the mess with them?[/quote]
I would suggest you don't speak about what you know nothing about.
The bible never states anywhere in it that ASD is demon possession. That includes the deuterocanonical books that are rejected by the protestants. It is not clear on ASD at all. Martin Luther is thought by some historians to have taught that and it therefore tends to be a Protestant belief.
I know the modern Catholic process for exorcism begins with a team of psychologist (often secular) examine the patient and confirm the possession. In a famous exorcism that the Exorcist movie was based on, more than 40 psychologists were present.

I am neither Protestant or catholic. I have extensively studied many religions. I am also concerned by the "Jesus culture" if you can even call It a culture. The Christian religion is seriously distorted and becoming increasingly twisted and distorted, especially in America.

Seven pages is too much for me to bother reading, so this may have already been said, but:

I think you should discuss the "golden rule", and the fact that it does not apply to aspies. Other people generally do not want to be treated the way we want to be treated. When I was younger, for example, I often ignored people who were upset because I assumed they would like to be left alone. I almost never asked people questions about themselves because I didn't want to violate their privacy. I did (or didn't do) a lot of things that NT people probably found unfriendly, because I was treating them the way I wanted to be treated.

I was raised Lutheran, but we never really went to church that often. My mom is someone who believes that the only chance you get is the one you take, and I guess that's formed a lot of my personality. My step-dad always reminds me to "not use Asperger's as a crutch" to put it his way, which basically means that just because I have a disability doesn't mean my life has to be limited in any way because of something I couldn't control. He was raised Catholic, and is one of the most open-minded people I know.

There are plenty of religious parents who do it right, it's just the ones who do it wrong that get all the attention.

I know that being raised Christian has helped me a lot with ASD I was raised knowing that God was a loving and forgiving god that was always there for me, and it helped knowing that there was always a rock to cling to when life got crazy always a safe and stable place. Someone who you could talk to without any fear of judgment or of disappointing or making them sad. Someone who you could ask for guidance. It also felt good to be apart of something bigger than yourself. I could keep going on about how God has helped me but I think that this part is the most important.