My new theory on self diagnosed autistics

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I was really trying to resist the temptation to reply to this thread but I lost that battle so here goes. I was Unofficially Diagnosed for a couple of years before I was able to be blessed enough to get an official diagnosis which only confirmed everything we had already found out. All I can say at this point is yes, there are those who are misdiagnosed whether officially, unofficially or self. But REALLY? SERIOUSLY? For the OP to say the things that he said, wow, I can't even think of words to say what I feel about this post. WOW! I think you might be able to deduce what I feel. I hope you can because I can't find the words to express it.

I know what it took for me to feel confident about my being on the Spectrum before my official diagnosis. It was not an overnight decision, it was not a flippant, internet quiz thing, it was almost two years of deep focused research that involved many people, most of whom are experts in the field. And I have read the posts of several of you on WP who are self diagnosed for a variety of personal reasons and I can't think of a single self diagnosed person that I know of that has come to that conclusion in a flippant way. And I don't believe for a moment that you guys are mentally ill to come to that conclusion.

OP, I don't even know what to say except, "my goodness, I really don't know what to say."
And I do feel for this blind woman. I imagine her need to be blind was as strong as what transgenders feel when they conclude that they are in the wrong gender. I believe this is a real situation for them and they need to do what they need to do and despite what my personal convictions or feelings might be about these things I think that they are very courageous to be true to themselves and I respect them for it. I just wonder if it would have been easier and maybe safer and better for her to just have her eyes sewn shut. One of my relatives had to have one of his eyes sewn shut and it seems to me that that might have been a better option. Just saying.

The claims are seem so outlandish and unfounded to me, Skibum, that they discredit themselves at the start of this thread. Nevertheless, it is good to hear from you again!

I'm self diagnosed, but I tell no one other than 1 or 2 people so that they can understand my aloofness and other issues. Otherwise I keep it to myself and the reason I do not seek professional DX is because I would like very much to keep my job. I don't think I would do well in another position but at this place of work I must for safety and security reasons, divulge all medical information and all of it is sent to my employer, so they would know. And then it is likely I would be fired due to security concerns. Otherwise both of my children have been diagnosed. Both girls. It seems unlikely to me that I would be wrong given that both of my female children are on the spectrum. It also seems unlikely that I'm seeking attention given that I do everything I can to hide "it". I wish I could get an official DX so I could show it to my kids and say "see? mom too. You guys are just fine. ignore the haters."

But W/E. apparently I'm just a psycho looking for attention. Silly me. I'll go find some forums for that instead I guess.

I do hope the self-diagnosed folks will feel comfortable staying. I've been away from WP for a while, and the 'witch hunt' against people without a formal diagnosis was definitely a factor.

Even those of us who have been diagnosed face that sort of skepticism from people we know in real life, so seeing it here on WP is disheartening, and defeats the purpose of a place where people are supposed to understand our struggles.

What we all have in common is that we are struggling to function as best we can, in a world that doesn't understand our challenges, and pushes us to the utter limit of our coping skills.

For some people, that limit includes a job, marriage, and raising kids - something I couldn't even dream of achieving - but just because I am 'more dysfunctional' doesn't make their struggles any less valid. If ASD symptoms are causing them a high level of stress in their everyday lives, then we of all people should be supportive, since we all understand how that feels.

There are many parents out there who research autism and some come here asking for advice. They say things such as "my son does this, is this an autistic trait"? With research and noticing many of all of the signs of autism in their children, they push schools and doctors to get their child diagnosed...they are hardly ever wrong. Most kids diagnosed today were diagnosed because someone, not necessarily someone qualified to diagnose them, noticed the signs. With that said, I'm not sure why anyone would think that an adult can suspect that a child is autistic, but that same adult can't read the same information and see it in themselves, after all, nobody knows how we feel/see the world/our experiences better than we do.

PS getting a diagnosis as an adult is not always easy...sometimes it is terrifying...with the view of most of the world thinkin autistics are broken or need to be fixed, as a parent, it is terrifying to seek a diagnosis and not think about the possible consequences of having that diagnosis on paper. In a divorce having such diagnosis could be the basis for an ex to attempt to take your kids away, it could be the basis for social services to say you can't really take care of your children because you are autistic and are prone to meltdowns, depression, etc. So just because someone is not diagnosed, does not mean that the person is making it up...they may have many reasons for not seeking a diagnosis or being able to even get one.

Not exactly a new theory though, is it? You posted a very similar post on Reddit almost a month ago. Link: https://m.reddit.com/r/aspergers/commen ... autistics/

Granted, very few people deigned to participate, most likely because it seems to be an argument aimed not at promoting understanding or discussion but rather to create infighting and/or give those fortunate enough to have received a diagnosis an inflated sense of superiority.

It is not always easy to get a diagnostic evaluation done, especially if you're an adult, and even more so if you are a woman. (And for whoever said there's no difference in presentation between genders, there are several experts who would disagree) And if, like me, you don't have insurance that will cover the evaluation, it's pretty hard to justify spending $2000 or more just for peace of mind. In addition, some may not have specialists in their area, requiring a special out of town trip which may not be feasible.

At the end of the day, I just don't see what this kind of condescending, divisive post accomplishes.

Well OP...I can see you have given this much thought.

Not too sure how far it will get you though, especially on a site where you are bound to come up against quite a bit of hostility.

But good luck anyway.