WTF Article claims Positive Effects of Bullying Autistics

Post Reply New Topic

My negative reaction is because I just don't believe her. That is based on what and how she is selling her treatments and that due to "political correctness" negative messages are often couched in positive terms. The message was not make the best of a bad situation, IT WAS NOT WE MUST MAKE ALL EFFORTS TO STOP BULLYING but in the meantime lets try to make some good out out of a horrible situation .

I can see how a literal autistic would read the literal positive message. But some of us from experience have learned about negative messages couched in positive terms and see the "hidden meaning" as victems need to just toughen up and the "treatment" program I am selling will make them less autistic thus more able to just toughen up.

Despite this, it doesn't gain self esteem or confidence or assertiveness.
More so when it comes to trust, there's more paranoia instead. So much of this, I'm not surprised that humans are bastards in general.
It doesn't gain me to have a heart of a stone or a real apathetic interior, as things still reminds me of. Instead of fear or sadness, it simply makes me angry...
And no, I'll never forgive the people who tormented me at my youth. All of those years never gained me the ability to forgive, as I'm likely succumb to revenge.

Me ending up learning life regardless how it is, is completely out of choice. Bullied or not bullied. Whether NTs and everyone else expects us to or not. The only thing that was getting in my way was anxiety, and never AS.
I was only lucky enough to come into a realization and rid of anxiety at my own age.

And if I was never bullied, I'd be still learning things I like. Even more effectively and no delays from wasted times of hesitation. And no anger or hatred towards people and the past, I could've learn how to forgive if I ended up in an easier, slower path. But then no one would ever know.

Yes, the positives she mentions are not consistent with reality as I have experienced it. I agree with everything you are saying here.

Yeah, the analogy is fine.

However, there are perks (good opportunities to take action) for parents when a rape happens.

So, 'nowhere' appears to desire political correctness over logic.

Any benefits are through applied gatherings through reflection.

The idea that bullying provides positive effects in itself is ludicrous.

I am still trying to understand encounters from decades ago. I cannot say this is positive

I am not sure if I already said this but I think the author was trying to turn a negative thing into a positive thing, that is something that is drilled in our American culture, thinking positive and focus on the positive. When a bad thing happens, we all look at the positive and make the best of it. You lose your best friend, look at how bad they were and how much they sucked as a friend, oh they did you a big favor by dumping you as a friend and you don't need a friend like them. You get in a car wreck, oh at least you got a new car. You lose a baby, thank goodness you weren't in your 2nd or 3rd trimester when it happened and having a miscarriage is better than having a baby with a lot of birth defects. Your kid goes off to collage, oh at least your groceries, electric and water bill will be lower now and your house won't get as dirty now so that means less cleaning and less money to spend.

Perhaps this is where our disconnect is. It is normal for me to try to rationalize a challenge or tragedy that happened to me into something positive. I got hurt, but now I'm stronger. And I am. These things happened, but I am looking for a bright side. It's okay for me to say that to myself. If these things happened to a friend, or worse, a stranger, and I said the same, "look on the bright side" statements, she would be in her rights to call me an insensitive lout, especially regarding the more tragic ones like the miscarriage or car wreck. Trust me, if you want to lose a friend fast, say something like "thank goodness the pregnancy wasn't farther along." My friend's wife recently lost a baby, and he took on essentially that attitude--it wasn't a real baby yet, why is she still upset? They are going through a really tough time as a result, in part because she doesn't think he's sensitive to her feelings. Loss is loss. Hurt is hurt. We can support our friends in their trials, but we cannot minimize their feelings.

The thing that really chafes is that this lady is telling us, the autistic people, and our struggling parents, to look on the bright side of a painful experience. She's an outsider. What does she know? It's like me telling a black person that racism doesn't exist anymore (I'm white). What do I know about it? It's not my experience, and I am not knowledgeable of the scope of the problem. The article comes across as insensitive and seems to make light of someone else's pain. Or worse, it seems to profit from it, as a therapist. She sounds like she doesn't understand the feelings of the people she's talking to.

The definition of a perk is an added benefit - added on to an existing benefit, LNH. As neither rape nor bullying is considered a benefit by civilised societies, there is no additional benefit to add.

Hopefully you are not deliberating trying to provoke/flame others and the perk comment was just an accidental misuse of the word.

How do you turn chronic bullying and ostracism into a positive learning experience? There is nothing positive about that.

B19 - The author of the article herself titled the article "Ten Perks Kids With Autism Get From Bullying".

I found it ludicrous as well based on the definition alone. Then add on the rest and it's just... unreal.

Precisely. That is an very helpful observation in terms of the main debate taking place in this thread, though a particularly unfortunate use of the word in relation to the bullying of autistic children..

I have no doubt that the article writer sees perks for herself, a new target population to extend the existing benefit of the income stream she already derives by selling ....

I looked at five online dictionaries, and none of them defined it as "an added benefit".

The best definition I found is "an advantage or benefit following from a job or situation".


Philosophically, I find your argument difficult to accept, since I believe every action results in positive, and negative outcomes. I think you are taking an exceptionally hard position to defend that some events are universally without benefit.

Also, I am quite sure, all across the world, rape counselors are using "positive counseling" to tell rape victims that "they will come out of this better than before". For example, search google "rape counseling and stronger than before" and see many rape websites, counseling sites that promote that view.

According to you though, that's not possible, rape victims can't be "stronger than before", because bullying and rape cannot result in an advantage.

Strawman.

A one word dismissal is not keeping up a fair discussion on your part.

My impression ...

Your grievance appears to be with "positive psychology".

You don't appear to like that it teaches victims that they they can use a tragedy to become better.

Like rape counselors who say, "you will come out of this stronger", or the "Bullying has perks" website.

You appear to think that such a suggestion justifies the tragedy?

However, if you talk to these "positive psychologists", they will likely tell you that their intentions are to rebuild the person, not justify the tragedy.

The author of this article has to be a troll, or a butthurt A$ parent.

According to dictionary.com:
perquisite (which is what "perk" is short for)
1. an incidental payment, benefit, privilege, or advantage over and above regular income, salary, or wages:
Among the president's perquisites were free use of a company car and paid membership in a country club.
2. a gratuity or tip.
3. something demanded or due as a particular privilege

At best, the use here is inaccurate. At worst, it's an insult, as though the abuser were doing the victim a favor.

"Better than before" is not "stronger than before," and that's something that's more of a philosophical stance. A survivor can rationalize his or her experience this way, but it's difficult to prove in actual fact. How do we know what we would have been like without experiencing trauma? That possibility will never happen. Since we were children when it happened, it's hard to say if we were stronger or better before or not. I can say I was happier, less prone to crying, I didn't have violent outbursts in school, I wasn't afraid to go to school, I didn't have stomach ulcers.

As for rape survivors being stronger than before, well, I just call BS on that. I can, from experience, say that in 30 years of therapy, none of my counselors ever said that rape (or bullying) made me better or stronger than before. I would have fired them if they had. Rape did not make me strong. Bullying did not make me strong. I made me strong. My character, my refusal to surrender, my refusal to give in to despair and hopelessness, are what made me strong. I take all of the credit for this one. The people who hurt me get none of the credit. They are despicable monsters with no redeeming value.

Yes, there are experiences that have no positive value. There are nightmares which can only be understood completely by people who have been through them. These are things that should not be demeaned, diminished, or sprinkled with happy therapy glitter from someone who does not know what they are talking about.