Things you used to believe

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I used to think that sex is evil thanks to several conservative relatives and me not knowing what taboo or polite is.

I thought I was some sort of ghost repellent. Because I have a screwed sense of fear, could care less about haunted places and kids/teens would pester me for company towards 'haunted' places.

I used to think that death is a bad thing simply because it cause sadness to others.

I used to believe that popularity equals happiness, and that everyone would want to become one. I found out that it's somewhat true that one could be happy with it, but I also found out that it's not what everyone would want.

I thought that brawn is better than brains. Which is ironic, that I didn't realized that I have more with the latter than the former because physical stuff is fun than just reading, knowing, and memorizing things when I had little difficulty with both.

I thought snow could actually happen in my place because of TV and my current culture likes the idea of white Christmas. And I live in a tropical, near the equator, where there's only wet and dry season.

I used to think I'm just different, and not autistic. And tried to prove otherwise.
And I used to think that all NTs are bullies who hides under a friendly facade which caused me to dislike the word 'social'.

I thought the word 'discipline' would only mean 'punishment' and 'strictness' and people who are 'disciplined' are either just being polite or emotionless robots who only obeys adults.

I used to think that fear is a bad thing, simply just because.

I thought I'm some sort of a lucky charm to others who are close to me. Well, that's how my current culture works: where a parent with a child with disabilities are considered 'worthy' of taking care of said disabled child, and are 'paid' with 'compensation' that is called 'luck' by god himself.

Last but not the least, I thought I was some sort of witch who can curse people with hate and anger. Because of several coincidences of their misfortunes that I happened to seriously dislike people who ARE unlucky. .. And I thought I killed someone with it, because the person I disliked died.

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As a child I used to believe that I could change the traffic lights from red to green with the power of my mind, and that certain traffic lights in my area had personalities, so some would do my bidding while others were quite rude and ignored me. Needless to say I was disappointed when I finally learned all about inductive detector loops.

I thought "stir crazy" was "stair crazy," because if you are locked up in your house, the only exercise you can do is going up and down the stairs.

When people said "At least I'm not a <insert insult here>" I thought they actually were being thankful that they weren't <insert insult here>. In fact, that was them calling me a <insert insult here>.

I used to think that everyone hugged and kissed when they said hello, because that is what we do within my family. I found it very entertaining, and oddly empowering, that all of the boys ran away from me in kindergarten. If one of them bothered me, I would start making kissy faces and they would fall in line. I didn't realize till later that this was probably some mild form of sexual harassment.

I used to believe that when a man and a woman get married, the woman takes a pill. The pill has a fetus in it, and that's how women get pregnant.

The only flaw to that theory was how the DNA would get from both parents could get to the baby, and how the woman does not digest the baby.

I used to think that everyone felt as out of place as I did because evolution had not caught up to our recent change from hunting-gathering to agriculture. I thought we were all really struggling to relate to each other, and would not make it harder by lying or joking about important things.

When I was much younger, before I understood not everything is literal, I used to believe the concentration camps were actual camps where they would force you to concentrate on boring things all day as a form of torture. I imagined it like being in a school 24 hours a day learning stuff you already know over and over again forever. Sounded pretty horrible.

I thought people only had sex because they wanted kids so when teens were having babies, I thought they had sex because they wanted a baby.

I thought adults got babies from the hospital

I thought my mom's belly button was a baby's head because she always showed it to me and said she had a baby in there

I thought you had to get married to have a baby

I thought all children had moms and dads and that they were all married and all the kids had the same father and same last name

I thought any guy a mom marries, their husband is the kid's daddy and a dad that marries any lady, the lady becomes the new mommy

I thought moms and dads got married just to give their kid a new mommy or daddy and they went out and shopped for a new person to marry so their kids would have a new mommy or daddy

I thought pregnancy happened automatically after you got married

I thought being bullied and singled out and troubles fitting in was a symptom of Asperger's so they were making it out to the the victim's fault by making it a disorder

I thought anything that wasn't normal was made into a disorder and made a symptom of disorders

I thought that anything that was listed for disorders, NTs never ever had those moments so anyone who did them had that trait

I thought having an obsession meant doing it too much and watching it all the time so I thought my mom was obsessed with Murder She Wrote because she watched it a lot on TV. I also thought she was obsessed with home and gardening because she watched those shows a lot on TV and always wanted to decorate her home. I even thought she had that aspie trait. I thought this into my twenties.

I thought having a cleaning house meant OCD so that was why I had that disorder and always wanting to shower everyday to be clean and must brush my teeth twice a day and I couldn't see anything wrong with it and didn't think it needed to be fixed

I thought OCD and autism routines and rituals were the same

I thought OCD was a symptom of Asperger's and it just had its own name for those who had that symptom but not enough to have Asperger's.

I thought anxiety was a symptom of Asperger's so anyone who had anxiety had that symptom of Asperger's but not enough to have it so anxiety disorder it was

I thought the more symptoms you had for Asperger's the more severe it is and the more you met in the criteria the more severe it is.

I thought the more Asperger's you had, the meaner you were and more unpleasant you were and the more selfish you were and the more stupid you were

I thought ODD was just a label for bad behavior so a kid did it to get their way to make their lives easier by being mean and abusive and breaking things to get their way and have everyone be afraid of them so they can get their way. I thought Frankie was very strong for doing all this by not letting himself care for the damage he is causing in his home and not caring about the messes he makes

I thought ODD was a symptom for Asperger's and it was only called ODD because that label was for kids who didn't have enough symptoms to have AS but they had that symptom

When I was a kid, the prime minister was Kåre Willoch. I would often be in the living room when the TV news were on, and I heard the president of the Philippines mentioned, whose name was Corazon Aquino, but I heard it as "Kåre Akino", and I assumed that meant that the president of the Philippines was Norwegian, and I saw nothing strange about that, it just made me think we were more powerful than we were.

A singer had a song about someone with the same name as my father, and since my father likes that singer, I thought they knew each other and that the singer named the character after my father. But the woman in the same song wasn't named the same as my mother, so I disliked the singer as I thought they were dissing my mom.

Because my grandfather voted for a certain political party and clearly respected a specific politician, and had a retroreflector with the logo of that party, it somehow made me think he was or had been member of the party and knew him as a person, and that it meant that my grandfather was influential.
edit: I mentioned this thread to my mother and mentioned things I had posted here, and she told me that he actually was a member of that party for a while. I actually wasn't wrong about that part. He was just a regular member though.


All of the 3 misunderstandings, taking place from I was just under school age until I was a few years into school, made me think my country and my family were both bigger and more important to the world than they were, which boosted my confidence. It made me think all was right with the world.

When I was 10 we visited my father's hometown and one day he said he was going to the office. I had never heard that expression before and thought it meant he was going to an actual office of his. I usually understood when someone used an idiom even if I was unfamiliar with it, but that one fooled me. He hadn't lived there for a long time, so if he had an office there still he had to have been/ be pretty important. The belief of our importance bloomed again and I eagerly asked if I could come along. He didn't respond, just went to the WC. Then I understood and felt really stupid.

When I was in daycare, I heard my mother say that Norway was a small country. I knew that wasn't true because to me a small area meant something very different than her perspective there, and already sure of the answer, I said: "Can you walk across it in one day?"
"No," she confirmed.
"Then it's not small!" I declared, feeling I'd made a great point.

This wasn't mine, but two of my playmates, when I was 6 in the former case, 3-5 in the latter. One believed the Boogeyman could be in shadows, the other thought that if we did things like stand by the fence and watch cows or eat leaves in the wooded area, the big, angry farmer would come and chase us.
I never believed in such things as boogeymen, and I didn't see why the farmer (who I had never seen at all) would be bothered by us eating leaves in the woods. He might not like us watching the cows (though we didn't do anything wrong, I knew very well that adults would often dislike kids having around), but he didn't seem to be around, so I just thought we'd be on the lookout and leave if he came.

I thought it was dumb of them to believe in such things. I was never much of a believer.
In either first or second grade, probably second, we had our first Christendom lessons. I'm from a completely secular family, and I felt insulted by that lesson. Being aloof and keeping most reactions internal, I objected inwardly and did not appreciate being taught fairytales in school. Bad enough I had to be there, at least they should just teach us what we needed to know. (I still agree with my assessment from back then.)

That we would be living in a post-gendered society by the year 2000. That dream of mine was shattered. It seems that the rest of the world lags behind as I quickly move forward in this area.

used to believe it was illegal to go in the wrong bathroom.

used to believe that if someone was academically smart, it guaranteed that they were morally good. wrong. it took a lot of doing, to learn that lesson. and that was over 10 years ago and 500 miles away. and still i get preoccupied with it ever single day.

used to believe that "if you work hard, you can be whatever you wanna be when you grow up."

used to believe that the world was fair and good.

used to believe that "money doesn't matter". but that is too idealistic to be practical.

used to believe that i was just socially awkward. among other things.

used to believe i was cisgender. but not in those words.

used to believe that i could get a STEM degree and job, without undue theater. but failed to do so, even with theater.

used to believe that i could decide whom to trust by interacting with them.

used to believe that school was the only thing that mattered. b/c that's how my precious lil "parents" acted.

I grew up knowing all about sperm, eggs, and pregnancy, but I thought that every copulation led to conception, and was short and intensely embarrassing, an unavoidable remnant of our animal nature.
I used to think that feminists were not sexist, and would treat me fairly if I was never a "pig."
I used to think that poor people could obtain justice.
It actually used to be true that CEOs would consider the overall well-being of the communities where they employed people as part of their civic responsibilities.
I used to think that I lived in a normal family, with the most normal kind of furniture and everything else. Other people's chairs lacked wingbacks; their Christmas trees were garish, etc.

I thought family was more important than money and people who put their jobs first were jerks. That is only in movies, in reality it doesn't work that way.

I also thought it was illegal to go in the wrong restroom

Anything that wasn't illegal was okay to do. It's not illegal to bully someone to death or to tell someone to go kill themselves and the world is better off without them and they actually kill themselves and in France it's not illegal to litter and in some countries you can have sex with a child and some kids are forced to marry at a young age and in some countries, rape victims are forced to marry their rapist because they got pregnant. So just because something isn't against the law doesn't mean it's okay to do it.

Anything that is against the law isn't okay to do. Yeah look in Islam countries where homosexuality is illegal or dating or in some cultures it's legal to honor kill. So just because something is against the law doesn't mean it's wrong to do it.

There was something wrong with my mother, she was very strange. She won't let us be normal children. I was a teen when I realized she was actually a good mother and the other parents on our neighborhood were just lazy and didn't supervise their children so they got away with lot of stuff and they didn't want to be the bad guys so they let them do whatever and believed their lies.