What did you think was wrong before you heard about AS?

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For the longest time I thought I was normal. Then, once I started realizing that no one acted like I did, I thought I had social anxiety disorder. That was the biggest one for a few years, but then I saw an article on Aspergers and realized I fit that more.

I do think there's a few other things off with me as well. I'm pretty sure I'm also avoidant and bipolar.

never, I have always accepted myself. My parents knew since when I was 3, I was a wonderer.

I was diagnosed as "autistic" when I was a toddler. I remember being in a special school (not just special ed, but an entire seperate special school) until grade 2, and being in special ed until grade 4. I remember being mystified by the world, wondering how kids could be so cruel when I had such a hard and fast ethical outlook. I remember feeling inadequate because I didn't know anything about baseball statistics or race cars or anything like the other boys did. Those were dark times.

Then, when I was about 13 *BAM* whatever "it" was blossomed into a diagnosis of childhood schizophrenia. I showed symptoms of this until about age sixteen (those years were a black hole), but I wasn't able to shake the diagnosis until about age 20 or 21. That was right before the shrink told me I had "Asperger's Syndrome" and I was like, "what's that!?" Later that same day I met some friends at a coffee shop and there was a new girl with them. I mentioned "I just got diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome... no idea what it is." The new girl gasped and said "my little brother has that!" And I was like "no kidding? So what is it then?" She helped me sort it out early on; I was lucky to meet her.

Another gal that helped me... both her brother and mother had it, so her and her dad were masters at being around it. I met her by chance, but she was one of the most important people I'd ever met.

well i used to be friends with a vulture, it lived in a cage in the zoo and i felt sorry that it never had much of life not being able to fly properly and all.
Anyway, it look liked this:

if you think you're one ogf these, then you got problems.

Social anxiety was the usual suspect. After I had access to what seemed to be the bible of all psychological disorders I had other notions. This sucker was thick as a brick and I gobbled it all up from front to back. Figures, doesn't it? Anyways, schizotypal at first. Later schizoid. I feel in my heart that neither of those apply other than comorbidity of certain symptoms.

Everyone was weird and I was being treated differently and discriminated and I hated I was different.

Alternatively I thought I was a freak, shy, thought it was because I was intelligent (though I do think I can actually see what’s going on in the world in ways most people seem to be oblivious to…), thought it was because of my OCD, though everyone just hated me, and thought it was because I was abused as a child.

I often wished I was an alien, but didn’t really think I was (but hoped…)

I still don’t really know for sure. I wish there was a blood test or something-some totally positive way to know what I have, so I can move on from there. Could being abused cause all of this? I was diagnosed as having complex post traumatic stress disorder, but I don’t ever actually think about what happened, which I think is supposed to be part of that. But maybe it could alter how I think? I don’t know.

I’m going to be a lot happier when I figure out what’s wrong with me for sure Probably I am just a freak who doesn’t know what to say.

You're certainly not a freak!

I've been there, wondering if maybe abuse or other traumatic events made me who I am. And of course, in a way they did, just as every input and output of our minds (as well as the blueprint) shapes who we become. But as an "ultimate cause" it was really a dead end street.

When it comes to the question, "Why is my mind the way it is?" we just don't know enough about the brain and the universe to come to the complete and fixed answer that people like you and I desire to receive.

In spite of our inquisitive nature, I honestly think we're happier when we stop saying, "Why do I have these strengths and weaknesses?" so much ...and start saying, "Ok, what am I going to do about it?"

I thought I was a psychopath or sociopath, and I think so did everyone around me :p

Anxiety, depression, lazy, run down.

Dyslexia

I was just the oddball, at home and at school. Bullied a lot. The only friends I had were people who sort of adopted me as a mascot. I wonder if they sort of felt sorry for me. I didn't know how to talk to people so my sister used to tell me when to say "hi" and "goodbye" and things like that. Even now that we're both adults,she makes an effort to make me feel comfortable when we're in a social setting. Knew that I was smart but then that was confusing cos I had a lot of trouble with certain subjects at school. When I couldn't do the work, I used to get detention cos teachers thought I was just lazy. I still get really anxious when I have to talk to new people but I know enough to get by...talk about the weather or whatever.

I just never felt like i fit in since i was a kid. I never could put a finger on it. I liked different things than lots of the other kids, and even the things i liked that they did it never was the same because i often looked at it from a completely different angle. I was often alone, hanging out with any other kid that didn't fit in or being by myself. I spent alot of time drawing and daydreaming. I sucked at sports--- but i could sure run! This came in handy since I was otherwise an easy target for bigger kids. I was even different to my family--- they just figured I was just me.
I grew up feeling outside the perimeter, even when i tried to be "one of the group". My likes tend to border on obsessive, and few people share my enthusiasm for them so they become mine alone and this further isolates me from alot of people. Honestly, how many people can love things like Oldsmobiles or wig collecting like I do?
I went from being shy to not giving a crap--- this makes me come across now at times as loud and very open but it is usually one way and most people don't like that. Other times I clam up--- I don't have much to say to people since they won't understand anyway so what's the use?
I'm sad now because 2 of my best friends ( they are about as "out there" as I am) are moving out of state. This leaves me with almost no true friends at all here. But I don't think it would be any different if i lived anyplace else, so I'm staying put.
I never knew why I was this way or why things always felt so hard with people.
I used to drink so that I'd open up and be social--- it made me act dumber, but so did all the other drunk people and everyone could at least be on one page. I at least felt like talking to people, but i don't really care for alcohol anymore. So when i came here, I found all these people who also didn't feel like other folks and it felt good for me--- I don't feel like I need to change myself. I've been feeling better the last couple of years anyway, accomplishing goals and doing things my way, finding a loving partner and pursuing my loves (have an Oldsmobile now:-D). Let people accept me or let them leave me be. Sometimes i'd like to feel like "one of the gang" and feel like everyone else, but then i wouldn't be me.

As a child I was told that I was shy and this would go away. It didn't, however .

I was very paranoid, and honestly expected any moment someone would just tell me that my life was fake, I was in fact normal but had been part of some kind of experiment on human behaviour.
I had though I would end up i a hospital, or jail for the whole of my life.
I was not sure there was anything wrong with me as I did not believe anything was real.