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TwilightPrincess
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07 May 2023, 5:23 pm

KitLily wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
I tried to desensitize myself because my sensitivity has caused me so much distress and turmoil. Yes, I avoid the news and whatever else to the best of my ability, but sometimes one can’t help hearing stuff (such as about the war in Ukraine) and that information can make it almost impossible for me to function. It’s very challenging to deal with.


I hope you found a way to feel better. I feel like I'm a lot less caring since I had my daughter. My job is to look after HER. Not the rest of the world. If she's alright, I don't care about random strangers on the news.
Nothing has really helped. I just try to avoid what I can. Having a kid didn’t help. It may have made me worse in some respects.



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07 May 2023, 5:39 pm

I haven't watched a news broadcast since 9/11.
That likely explains why I'm so out of the loop all the time.
I like being in my clueless bubble so I don't have to worry about the whole world at once.


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Edna3362
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07 May 2023, 6:35 pm

Eh.

I'm screwed enough to feel that the idea of war excites me than worries me.
The same can be said whenever there's a huge possibility of societal collapse.

Logically, I should at least worry for others. Irrationally, I'm not.

I'd rather feel nothing, admit that I'm in a bubble or flat out admit that I do not have empathy -- instead, I might have something worse than just "lacking empathy"...

But then I must've hate the so-called world and the human society so much, that I react like this.

I refuse to feel sick and sad for the sufferers, instead I tend (and rather) to feel wrath and contempt toward those who instigates.

At least I do not pretend to understand if I couldn't. I don't pretend to sympathize if I won't.

All the same I myself am sick of 'reacting'. Sick of people 'reacting'.


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07 May 2023, 6:57 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I haven't watched a news broadcast since 9/11.
That likely explains why I'm so out of the loop all the time.
I like being in my clueless bubble so I don't have to worry about the whole world at once.


I had to.stop.watching the news I was getting really depressed. I can relate to wanting to be in the clueless bubble. Theres just so much going on at any given time. I'm not sure being inundated with news all.the time is healthy. Though my grandma told me I should know what's happening in the world. I'm not sure how one balances.knowing what's happening and being worried or scared etc about what's happening.



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07 May 2023, 8:32 pm

^
I gave up watching live television (especially the news) decades ago, and never regretted it. I don't see myself as the world's keeper, and I don't see there's much I can do about it when it keeps going wrong. I just look at the occasional news website, mostly to keep abreast of matters that might directly affect me, such as transport strikes when I'm travelling. I've never seen it as anybody's duty to make the world a better place, just to try not to do any appreciable harm. And I see compassion as being mostly a local matter. Dad used to say that people aren't programmed to take in the cares of the whole wide world. He may have been correct.



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07 May 2023, 9:37 pm

ToughDiamond wrote:
^
I gave up watching live television (especially the news) decades ago, and never regretted it. I don't see myself as the world's keeper, and I don't see there's much I can do about it when it keeps going wrong. I just look at the occasional news website, mostly to keep abreast of matters that might directly affect me, such as transport strikes when I'm travelling. I've never seen it as anybody's duty to make the world a better place, just to try not to do any appreciable harm. And I see compassion as being mostly a local matter. Dad used to say that people aren't programmed to take in the cares of the whole wide world. He may have been correct.


That makes sense. I think I will try to remember that no one person can take on everything. Minimizing the harm I do and having compassion is something I can do though.

That gave.me a lot to.think about



KitLily
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08 May 2023, 2:42 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
KitLily wrote:
I hope you found a way to feel better. I feel like I'm a lot less caring since I had my daughter. My job is to look after HER. Not the rest of the world. If she's alright, I don't care about random strangers on the news.
Nothing has really helped. I just try to avoid what I can. Having a kid didn’t help. It may have made me worse in some respects.


That's all we can do isn't it- avoid what we can. I'm glad you said you are very sensitive because you didn't come across that way at first, now I can relate to you better :)

I think my brain just exploded/short circuited when I had my daughter. My brain just isn't big enough to hold all the worry about the world as well as all the worry about her. Adults can look after themselves but my daughter couldn't, so I focused on her and the adults had to cope without my help. It's liberating not to worry constantly about everyone.


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08 May 2023, 7:55 am

My (NT) cousin plays football in a team and it means a lot to her. One of her best friends (NT) was criticising her yesterday, because she couldn't get how important football is to her. She (the friend) saw it as "just a silly game", which upset my cousin because to her the game and the team is important.
They are best friends and agree on a lot of things but when it comes to football the friend just can't understand why football means so much, simply because she (the friend) isn't as fanatic about football as my cousin is.

It isn't unusual for people to only see some things from their own perspectives, which is why I despise people associating that with autism.


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08 May 2023, 8:01 am

^ Football was my life for a long time, looking back I think it was a special interest. My girlfriend back then was a 'football widow' as footie always came first :lol:


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KitLily
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08 May 2023, 9:12 am

Joe90 wrote:
My (NT) cousin plays football in a team and it means a lot to her. One of her best friends (NT) was criticising her yesterday, because she couldn't get how important football is to her. She (the friend) saw it as "just a silly game", which upset my cousin because to her the game and the team is important.
They are best friends and agree on a lot of things but when it comes to football the friend just can't understand why football means so much, simply because she (the friend) isn't as fanatic about football as my cousin is.

It isn't unusual for people to only see some things from their own perspectives, which is why I despise people associating that with autism.


I understand this, my husband loves watching car programmes and how all the mechanical bits fit together etc. That bores me to tears so I just nod and smile when he starts going on about it, and tune out to think about something more interesting. I try not to tell him to stop talking about it unless he really gets into a long discussion :lol:

Just because we don't understand someone's hobby or problem doesn't mean we should ridicule it, does it.


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08 May 2023, 9:35 am

Sometimes I feel left out when the community pushes "Autistics DO have empathy! Lots of it! All of them!" because I am kind of a stereotypical "high-functioning" one who has pretty low empathy.


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08 May 2023, 10:51 am

Readydaer wrote:
Sometimes I feel left out when the community pushes "Autistics DO have empathy! Lots of it! All of them!" because I am kind of a stereotypical "high-functioning" one who has pretty low empathy.


You might in some situations but then have higher empathy in other situations.


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08 May 2023, 9:16 pm

Readydaer wrote:
Sometimes I feel left out when the community pushes "Autistics DO have empathy! Lots of it! All of them!" because I am kind of a stereotypical "high-functioning" one who has pretty low empathy.

Sorry the pendulum swung back the other way too much! I think there tend to be extremes in the ASD community. Hypersensitive to [thing], hyposensitive to [thing]. Personalities too. My ASD mom and BFF suppress their empathy and mine is overflowing. If only they would tolerate theirs some and I could suppress mine some. Middle ground is so hard for ASD folks.

The empathy thing does make me wonder though. My mom is the ASD type that doesn't seem to have empathy ---- my theory is that she shut it out by necessity in her childhood. Now in her late 70s she lets herself feel a bit, but has crying jags, so shuts down and avoids again. My opinion is that she was shown no empathy and suppressed it, although one could suggest she has learned it. She was also selflessly selfish: so focused on avoidance of others and judgement that she was narcissistic. In her early 70s she softened and is able to apologize... once or twice. There are articles about ASD folks who are unempathetic and narcissistic for survival purposes. That's her. Ironically she will say it's my BFF. For both of them, safer not to feel. For me, feeling creates a lot of instability, but it also provides connections with others I wouldn't have otherwise. Pros and cons.

I hope the theory of Autism and empathy finds its middle ground.



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08 May 2023, 10:16 pm

Supposedly.
The inconsistency lies with the autism subtypes.

Subtypes that does have low empathy, low social affect or/and has higher alexithymic traits.

Then there's subtypes that has a lot of emotional sensitivities, prone to emotional contagion or/and is relatively leaning towards socialization as a reward.


And then there's the ones that lies outside the dichotomy;
Ones with widely different context and perceptions (very prone to misunderstandings), ones that developmental disabilities so severe one has zero social instincts (usually intellectually disabled)

Then there's the ones that has no internal regulation whatsoever and remains as if they're "egocentric" when they're chuck full of unfulfilled needs; are 'egocentric' because they cannot ignore their thoughts, their feelings over others'.
And then when they don't have those unfulfilled needs, they suddenly 'stop' being 'egocentric'.


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Last edited by Edna3362 on 08 May 2023, 10:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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08 May 2023, 10:21 pm

Edna3362 wrote:
Supposedly.
The inconsistency lies with the autism subtypes.

Subtypes that does have low empathy, low social affect or/and has higher alexithymic traits.

Then there's subtypes that has a lot of emotional sensitivities, prone to emotional contagion or/and is relatively leaning towards socialization as a reward.

And then there's the ones that lies outside the dichotomy; ones with widely different context and perceptions (very prone to misunderstandings), ones that developmental disabilities so severe one has zero social instincts (usually intellectually disabled)

Then there's the ones that has no internal regulation whatsoever and remains as if they're "egocentric" when they're chuck full of unfulfilled needs; are 'egocentric' because they cannot ignore their thoughts, their feelings over others'.


I would anticipate that on top of all of this, that spiky profiles also contribute. Which is to say people who have huge differences between different related talents that contribute to empathy.


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08 May 2023, 10:32 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:
Supposedly.
The inconsistency lies with the autism subtypes.

Subtypes that does have low empathy, low social affect or/and has higher alexithymic traits.

Then there's subtypes that has a lot of emotional sensitivities, prone to emotional contagion or/and is relatively leaning towards socialization as a reward.

And then there's the ones that lies outside the dichotomy; ones with widely different context and perceptions (very prone to misunderstandings), ones that developmental disabilities so severe one has zero social instincts (usually intellectually disabled)

Then there's the ones that has no internal regulation whatsoever and remains as if they're "egocentric" when they're chuck full of unfulfilled needs; are 'egocentric' because they cannot ignore their thoughts, their feelings over others'.


I would anticipate that on top of all of this, that spiky profiles also contribute. Which is to say people who have huge differences between different related talents that contribute to empathy.

I'm also not surprised if emotional intelligence itself, like cognitive profiles and areas of intelligence - can be spiky.


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