Any "adult" (over 18) still live with parents???

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Yes I'm a 27 year old "adult" who still lives at home and is dependent on her mummy.

It was extremely hard for me not to live at home with my family for the most of my time any longer. It happened very suddenly, at the beginning of my first year in a "classe préparatoire" (one of the two ways of doing your two first years of superior studies in France, it's more prestigious, it's also more work, than university). I had just turned 18 - literally, the first day was the next day after my birthday - and my parents left me hastily. I think my mother believed it would be better that way to learn me how to leave the nest. She was so wrong. With preparation (I had lived nearly overprotected at home up to that moment) maybe it would have happened in another way... But the shock was very very hard for me. I staid there during the two years of prépa, but I only staid 3 times two weeks in a row (which was very hard) because of special circumstances, else I went back every week-end (they were so short, from 3pm on saturday to 20pm on sunday when I left to go back to the city I studied). Then I went to university in a new flat, but I had schedules that permitted me to spend time back at home - last year, I even frequently spend half of the week with my parents. They've kind of accepted it, even though they don't see it as normal (even my youngest sisters like to say it's abnormal at my age, which is awkward), but I needed to see my family twice a month at least this year (above all since I cannot see my 2 friends much).
The problem is that I don't think I'm really able to live all alone, by myself. I don't mean that I can't be alone in the way that it would make me suffer - that's not the problem. I'm autonomous, but not at 100% independent, maybe. For now, there is no great problem, but I don't know in a few years. I don't live very well the (necessary) changes in my family (it was so much better when we were children !), I hope I'll be able to move to a new flat in a few years so as to try to have better surroundings that will make up for the lack of my good old and great room at my parent's house (which will maybe be sold by then) ; the problem is indeed that it's back there I'm really happy... Needless to say I'm not financially independent, I won't get a kind of "salary" before I begin my doctorate in one year (at least), and even then, I will surely be a parasite of my parents for some time (becoming a lecturer at university in France is an obstacle course with many stages, of course there are several years with a whole array of diverse statutes before and I will maybe be forced to teach at secondary school - the horror !).
As a matter of fact, I don't "function" as well as my parents, people, or even myself when I'm a bit too much confident, could think, and I have these stupid quirks and bad habits that make living alone harder (in a pragmatic way).
Sorry for the TMI.

I'm 42 and still live at home. I actually started to plan for moving out about 10 years ago, but I kept it to myself, & then lost my nerve.

Incidentally, I know of several other middle aged men still living with their parents.

I think as much as anything it is a sign of the times, with economics ( it's just too expensive ) playing a part in so many still living at home.

In my case it's more to do with being useless at life, generally.

Yeah mostly I just have no way to move out yet.

Why is it considered bad to live with your parents in your 20s here?
(As another poster pointed out, in some countries that's perfectly normal.)

Indeed. It's cultural. It can also vary from a family to the next one. It can depend on the "philosophy" of parents and what they want to do of their life. My parents are on their early fifties and they've entered a new chapter, with changes. + There is the social aspect, indeed. Here I speak more of the nature of the link between parents and their son - me in this instance. I'm not normal, with me, the link is as it was when I was younger. Normal people don't have this problem. They can be late to have an adult relationship with their parents, but with me, it's not really the case, it has still childlike qualities in it... The fact is I seem to be happy when 1/ I am with my family 2/ When I'm alone, but really alone. Contact with other people is different, even with my rare friends, and they're nearly always the other side of the coin. I'm not even sure if I could really live with another person the special kind of relationship that could work for me, actually...

It doesn't seem that it's the practical aspect of things that matters the most, at least in my country, about the fact that you live at your parents. But yes, it can be seen as weird when someone of my age is still attached that way to his parents... which is understandable.

Well, your talking about your very special case on an individual level, aren't you?
Or is it generally considered weird to live at home in France (I guess, it's also regionally different)?

I'm 26 and on my own now, but I lived with my mom for a long time, for a couple of reasons. Most importantly, my mom's on wellfare, so she can't help me financially - actually, I've always payed for most of the groceries and other expences. My financial situation has improved somewhat over the years though, so now I can afford my own apartment and still help her out. My work, school, gym and everything else is near my mom's place, so it was kinda convenient anyway. Being on my own kinda scared me when I was younger, considering all the responsibilities that come with it, but it's really not that bad. I do get the current economy causes trouble for a lot of people though, here in the Netherlands too.

I love my apartment though. It's small, but I've got a nice balcony, sun all day long, and all the stuff I really need.

I don't think its bad in itself...I wouldn't mind if I me and my mom got along better and if I could comfortably be myself around her, but that's not quite the case. I mean there is that tension of tolerating things that bother me about her including her behavior concerning my dad who she divorced 6 years ago...Its akward going and hanging out with dad only to come home knowing your moms on a quest to get more child support money she doesn't need and likely wont even spend on her 'child' or my little brother the only sibling that is still a child and could very well try asking questions. Thing is they are both my parents I cant very easily side with one or the other and I don't want to I really just want to have a decent relationship with both but you know its complicated because its a lot of hard feelings to deal with.

But I cant exactly bring that sort of stuff up or there will be anger filled arguments and conflict so its either I bite my lip and say nothing about these things and try to be friendly to her just so theres peace....or I could tell her what I really think and attempt to deal with the resulting conflict......its kind of a catch 22 living at my moms house. Another thing on my moms side of the family and even some on my dads side people don't 'talk about it and work it out.' they 'ignore the problem exists and expect everyone else to do the same.' Trouble with it is my mom knows she does this deep down somewhere but she'd deny it to her grave I feel. So that is why It's bad for me personally to live with my parent at the age of 22.

At my age, the normality is to live in a flat, alone or with a roommate, or of course with a companion. I'm going to turn 23 next month, and by that age usually most young adults no longer come regularly, during the weekend for example, to see their parents (and/or bring them some laundry... !). Most have friends, a girlfriend or a boyfriend, so it's understandable. Of course, they're can be some who still live with their parents because of pragmatic or financial reasons, which can lead to problems of cohabitation, obviously. Usually getting an apartment is synonym with freedom and independence for people, and they would not really be happy to be forced to go back at their parents house.
My parents are well off, so they could afford to help one of my sisters (20 yo now) to get a flat even though she could have staid at home, given that she doesn't work far away. This was wished by both parties. Myself I study at university, 120 km away, so...
It seems to me that yes, there must be some stigma towards people who still live with their parents, above all of course if they are seen (or are) to be without many friends, with no companion, etc. The schema is pretty much like this I think, for people who do medium (a master, so 5 years) or long studies (like me, I've yet at least 4 years before I become a doctor) : 18-19-(20), you have a flat, or you're in a residence hall at university, in a classe préparatoire or in a grande école ; many in the first years visit their parents on weekends. From 19 or 20 onward, the great majority doesn't live any longer with their parents and the visits are more sporadic. A number of students work, out of necessity sometimes, while they study. Even though true independence (and financial one above all) comes late, 90% of the young adults with more than 25 years don't live at their parents home in France. It may have changed because of the crisis, but I don't think it has become like in other European countries, where it is much more common.

My situation is peculiar. I don't know other people of my age who have spent as much time as I did these last two years at home with my parents, while it is not an objective necessity. I had very cool schedules at university, and then I had no more lessons for several months (when I wrote my dissertation), so I could spend time there (the place by itself is much more inspiring than my flat). I'm an exception in so far as I would not mind at all to go on living partially with my parents, but of course it won't happen because it would not please them at all ! Besides, I'm attached to the house, because it's where I spent all the relevant part of my childhood with the rest of my family.

Last edited by Ascagne on 02 Aug 2012, 2:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Ascagne and Sweetleaf: Thanks for your accounts.

I'm 21 and I still currently live at home. Not for free, I still pay my way in the house. I'm pretty content for now with things here, so I don't see the point in moving out right now if I'm not unhappy. Plus, I would be living on my own for sure and I would feel too lonely.

In the USA, its thought that a male who lives with his parents is NOT marriage material from the female perspective. Or that you are an incipient mass-muderer waiting to strike..
Its a cultural thing here, I know in many parts of the world men stay with their parents at least until they are married. I am not sure how it came about, with the current economic situation though, many people now live with parents, kids, grandparents.
Personally, my family drives me crazy, but they are my family. I am kind of stuck with them. Well, my mother mostly.

Sincerely,
Matthew

I turned 21 a couple of days ago and I still live with my parents.

I wish I was on disability so I'd have some income for myself though

Yes, but mostly because I'm not yet ready to leave.

Living at home, not because I want to, but because I can't afford it. Am in the process of saving up, and with luck, I'll be able to move out by this coming December/January.

I was living on my own for a few years before I mentally broke down about one and a half years ago. Now that my life's back on track, I'm finally ready to do it again.