Quote:
Faith doesn't work for me, it's not an emotion and it smells like a faulty, man-made construct. I recall being given the idea of faith for the first time at school. I felt that I was never going to be able to blot out my genuine doubts, and thought that probably meant that if there was a god, he'd notice that and I'd not make the grade.
Faith never worked for me eighter. Another thing is experience , and i have had deep and profound spritual experiences , both using pychedelics and with yoga and kiirtan (chanting mantra).
But the last ten years of my life have been a fatiguing battle not alloving me to do consitent spititual practice. I miss that feeling of meaning , syncronicity wholeness so much it hurts sometimes, it has become mostly a memory now.
This has cased me to become more and more agnostic as i cant rely on memories of experiences, like my mind had dried up and got caught of in the mundane and finite due to lack of nourishment from the source and the soul.
Altough im frustrated about it, i dont worry to much, all things has its time in life. If it was really there then,its always there and here..And then its just a matter of seeing trough the veil.
I've dabbled with meditation too, and think it can be a worthwhile pursuit, though for me the word "spiritual" is as meaningless as the word "faith." I'd say that I meditate in order to promote emotional well-being. If I'm physically and emotionally OK, then I don't think there are any more boxes that need ticking. But it's a useful word for conveying meaning allegorically....like I sometimes say things like "
" although in my view there is no soul. Just that it's a snazzier way to talk, a little less cold and nerdy than "
." Where's the artistic merit in those words? Which phrase conveys the meaning more immediately? Which is the more fun?