Intuitive Social Situations Demystified

Post Reply New Topic

It looked to me like all those people were staring at the man as though he were doing something totally bizarre. Some of them even looked a little annoyed. I didn't see empathy at all, and certainly no one acted on empathic feelings by trying to help the man.



I remember an incident where a professor got all my classmates to cry just by asking them to imagine something. I was standing on the outskirts, watching this, completely mystified. Sure, it was a sad story. Did it move me to tears? No. I thought it was very interesting that the story had that effect on everyone else. (An incident in another class led me to believe that many of my classmates said the right words and showed the right emotions, but, when it came down to it, didn't take any useful action.)

Anyway. When I studied mirror neurons, my understanding of it was that they're not so much involved in understanding feelings, as in recognizing actions, the way other parts of the brain recognize objects. So when you watch someone doing an everyday action, you recognize it, and you can infer their goals and what they're going to do next. In that vein - were you guys able to see what the point-walkers in the video were doing? I had no problem with that.

On the point walkers, some yes and some no. I think they needed to show them a little longer for me to figure the ones I didn't out.

Other than that, I agree now with you that the mirror neurons sound like it only recognizes actions in a similar manner to objects. Empathy is probably an association to those actions that come from a different part of the brain. At least possibly, and good theory now.

I do remember in the video I watched about imitation and how Auties brains didn't have the same functions as everyone else's in the part that imitates, they pointed to the back of the brain for that location, as opposed to the sides where the mirror neurons supposedly are. So, it would make sense we see the action and recognize it with the side of our brains, and then we imitate it using the back of our brain. Right?

When you say "point walkers", do you mean those little dots that were moving, doing things like walking or throwing something? That was no problem for me, I could see that stuff well. The narrator said that people can recognize their own movement as themselves...not sure if I could do that though, I´d have to try it out and see....

Once I did a choreography for my students, and they performed it in a test situation in the studio, in front of the school directors and other authority figures. At the end of the choreography, one of the directors hugged me- took me completely by surprise- and started to cry. I was taken aback, but a moment later, I noticed all the students were hugging the teachers and they were ALL crying! All except me, that is. I was standing there kind of wondering what was going on, and wondering if I was "supposed to be" crying. This kind of thing has happened to me on several occasions, where everyone seems to be feeling something- and that feeling seems to even be contagious- and I don´t feel it. And maybe it´s like seedub wrote- (being at the party and not in the party)- my guess is that we are probably more often on the outside of these things, "at" but not "in", because our mirror neurons (i.e. empathy) work a little differently than those of other people. Anyway, I think it´s an interesting theory. I guess it´s still new, they haven´t gotten to the point where they can say exactly what it means in terms of autism yet. To be continued....

The back of the brain is mostly taken up with visual processing. It could be the case that auties recognize other people's actions in a purely visual way, without putting ourselves "in their shoes". We know what they're doing without feeling anything about it. Monkey see, monkey don't do.



Yes, the dozen or so dots that represent a person. I can spot the difference between male and female walkers, but I don't have high hopes for my ability to recognize myself.

Oh, I didn´t even notice any male and female. They all looked pretty androgynous to me...or sort of male, I guess.

I could read the dot motions OK. I reckon I could recognise my own gait, but have seen it on camera many times.

I was reading the reviews and one of the reviewers made me smile with recognition at this:

Iacobini explains that we don't understand others by "logical analysis", which would be far too slow and cumbersome. (Imagine trying to successfully maneuver through, say, a big party if you had to consciously think about and analyze every little thing you saw people doing in order to know how to respond! You'd probably give up and run away!)

I'm glad this topic was posted because this is something that I've been interested in for awhile. For years I would try and analyze how NTs communicate in order to basically copy what they do. However, I've learned that this was the wrong approach. Socialising isn't an aspie thing, therefore you cannot approach it with aspie tendencies. Obviously, aspies tend to be much heavier thinkers than NTs, we dwell on things stuck in our heads and it takes longer for us to move on to something new and forget something that just happened. NTs however tend to go with the flow, they let their surroundings guide their actions and words and don't think too hard about their next move. I've learned over the past few months that the best way to improve social skills is to literally go with the flow. I know that sounds cliche but it's so unbelievably true. You need to learn to stop filtering everything someone says to you and just listen. Don't think about what you're going to say midway through their sentence if you know what they're going to ask. Just empty your mind. It's hard at first, but after awhile you learn to do it subconsciously. If your worried that if you stop thinking about it you might blurt out something embarrassing then try practicing with a group of 4-5 close friends. Don't worry about giving input out loud, just open your mind and when something to say pops in your head you can either say it or just think it to yourself. This way you still get practice but you don't have to worry about saying something stupid. Eventually it will just come to you. I used to have horrendous social skills like many of you but since i started doing this I can literally FEEL myself changing, it's wierd and hard to describe but over the past month I can't recall a single social faux pas I've committed or any instances where my anxiety was unbearable. Why do you think alcohol makes people more social? Because it dulls your senses and forces you not to think so much. It's the same concept, just slow your mind down, I know it's hard for us but in small increments it's possible.

I'm glad this topic was posted because this is something that I've been interested in for awhile. For years I would try and analyze how NTs communicate in order to basically copy what they do. However, I've learned that this was the wrong approach. Socialising isn't an aspie thing, therefore you cannot approach it with aspie tendencies. Obviously, aspies tend to be much heavier thinkers than NTs, we dwell on things stuck in our heads and it takes longer for us to move on to something new and forget something that just happened. NTs however tend to go with the flow, they let their surroundings guide their actions and words and don't think too hard about their next move. I've learned over the past few months that the best way to improve social skills is to literally go with the flow. I know that sounds cliche but it's so unbelievably true. You need to learn to stop filtering everything someone says to you and just listen. Don't think about what you're going to say midway through their sentence if you know what they're going to ask. Just empty your mind. It's hard at first, but after awhile you learn to do it subconsciously. If your worried that if you stop thinking about it you might blurt out something embarrassing then try practicing with a group of 4-5 close friends. Don't worry about giving input out loud, just open your mind and when something to say pops in your head you can either say it or just think it to yourself. This way you still get practice but you don't have to worry about saying something stupid. Eventually it will just come to you. I used to have horrendous social skills like many of you but since i started doing this I can literally FEEL myself changing, it's wierd and hard to describe but over the past month I can't recall a single social faux pas I've committed or any instances where my anxiety was unbearable. Why do you think alcohol makes people more social? Because it dulls your senses and forces you not to think so much. It's the same concept, just slow your mind down, I know it's hard for us but in small increments it's possible.

Funny, I always say the best way to describe Aspergers...

Most people spend a lot of their time trying to think outside the box. Aspies, on the other hand, can't seem to figure out how to get in.

That's almost a direct quote of what one of my partners said about me.

Ahhh Thank You. I think it's the easiest way to describe ourselves to NT's whose never heard of it.

I still would like to change the name from Ass Burgers to something else. No offense to the guy with the name Aspergers, but the military Drill Sgts would have a field day with him as a new recruit. Once someone put a post on here with what would you change the name to, and many responded with some ideas that sound way psychotic, and while I kinda like that for the extra punch, I think we need something milder. I personally fell in love with the name Cat Syndrome.

I believe there are two schools of thought: one of acceptance that aspieism is how you are, its how you were meant to be, it just is. Thats a good way to describe it if you're of that school.

The other is that you are in actuality you are a "NT" deep down whose brain got a little warped for whatever reason, but somehow, you can return to NTism.

See, I don't totally understand here. I consider myself the first option now, but before I knew what Asperger's was, I was more like the second option. In both cases, I realized I was more out of the box trying to get in than the other way around, and in both cases, I really felt like I just didn't belong in the box, so I guess I have a hard time figuring how Aspies would believe they do belong in that box. Even still, I try to get into that box at least for moments. I figure if NT's live a facade, so can I in order to get what I want.

Maybe it would be better said, NT's are trying to think out of the box, Aspies are trying to think inside the box. I didn't really put too much thought into the inbetween words. The main thing is the label (aspie vs nt) and their location in relation to "the box." I think I change up the in between words like "trying to think" or "can't figure out how to get into" everytime I say it. IF that's the case, my bad

What I'm saying is that when I am alone in my space I feel the disconnect and the aspergers and whatever. I usually feel this way when I'm out and about too. However, there are moments in my social interaction, when I truly do enter, in a noticable but subconcious way, the NT world. I feel it.

One way I gain perspective is by watching myself on camera (note: i don't really film myself but if I catch a clip with me in it.) I have developed now to a point where I can start to pickup on the overall context of the situation, and I can notice myself 'acting a fool' within it.

I mean, it occurs pretty rarely, but I think that it will continue to develope. I guess I'm thinking that at best in the long run I'll be able to be concious of and exist successfully in their world. I don't know if it will ever be complete, but i really feel like I am getting somewhere.

The thing is, only time will tell.

Oh, if those people only knew...