WP members GF ill with cancer

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You give as a gift; you don't ask for anything back.

This is the most convincing argument I've heard in terms of taking action here... Ok. I think we can agree at this point that this is at best negligent and at worst theft. But what are our options? Is there anyone here with a law background, or family or friends who have one? Can we take any real action here? Because if we can't then no matter what you say here, he did get away with it.

Also I feel I should note that I'm very happy with the way hale_bopp, dw_a_mom, and the rest of the moderators have handled this. The forum member responsible for this situation is seanwm. Nobody else.

Exactly. A gift carries no expectation of return. A loan does.

I'm now almost entirely convinced that this is the case too. And I'm actually feeling really sad about the ( alienated/disconnected/"out of it" ) state that seanmw must be in to have let things get this far, to accept and hold onto what is for most of us here a lot of money, when he either knew all along that his girlfriend was a fantasy figure, or has found out that she was never ill, or has realised that he was never that serious about going to see her.

I think I'm probably particularly sad about it because it makes me realise how helpless my parents must have felt faced with my own apparently incurable inability to imagine and understand other people's real feelings and reactions, ( as opposed to melodramatic/soap-opera fantasies about them ), at that age, and my repeated failure to predict with any accuracy at all the implications and consequences of the things I did, neither of which I am all that good at even now, but having understood that I'm not at least helps me to "compensate" for it.

I really didn't care about other people's feelings except in so far as I attempted to avoid them being angry with me. My closest friends were sidekicks, valuable in so far as they supported me, and my boyfriends were "gods"/authority figures that I "obeyed"/pleased by performing the role I believed was required. People divided up into those I thought were interesting, attractive, original, exciting, and wanted to impress or have as friends, and the rest, the vast majority, were about as important to me as the non-player characters are in a MMORPG.

A total disconnect. Virtual reality. Mine came crashing down when I was 29. I wonder when seanmw's will.
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PS. In fact I'm currently so sure that this is all one great big mess that seanmw has got himself into that, speaking for myself, ( I realise that others might not feel the same way at all ), I feel like saying "Come back to WP, seanmw, all is forgiven!" :lol , because I'm thinking how sad it is that the very reason why someone might need WP, ( and feel at home here ), this sort of "disconnect", the very AS inability to imagine or understand other's feelings or predict the consequences and implications of one's actions, would mean that he couldn't use WP anymore.

And am also thinking suddenly that could almost say that our actions, believing him and sending him money, as a result of our own AS difficulty in seeing the whole picture, in correctly weighing up the factors in a multifactorial situation, and so on, are also responsible for the mess he finds himself in.

If we had been less trusting, and/or ( paradoxically ) less bizarrely detached too, ( sending absolutely only what we could afford and many of us in the knowledge that could be a scam ), this wouldn't have happened. As if we gave him the rope to hang himself with. We made him "responsible" for our money in a way, by doing this.

My parents learned early on not to do this, not to give me the opportunity to get into trouble essentially, for as long as they had the "strength" to anyway. I'm just thinking that it must have been tiring and annoying/very unrewarding to have to be so strict though, with me resenting and complaining about it all the time, because the day I turned 18 my dad said to me that was it, he was no longer responsible for me.

I'm thinking, now, after the event, that it was perhaps foolish for me to send seanmw money, to put him in that position. As "alone" said a while back, we should perhaps have never sent money to anyone so clearly clueless about the details of it all. I'm thinking that I should have known better. I'm sorry, seanmw, for sending you money. Keep it if you need to/have spent it, and come back to WP.

Edit. PS. I've just sent him a pm to this effect, and deleted my earlier pm ( a copy of which I posted a while back on this thread ), and which he had never picked up.
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Yesterday I was ready to say, Sean return and let wp forgive and embrace you.

But, in the course of a few messages with TeaEGH, he said he was still short of money. I'm thinking he isn't feeling much remorse here.

Or, theroy number #3 [for all of you that are bored with the mental gymnastics of this thread, you might want to stop reading now...kind of for you ouinon...and theroy #3 has it root stimulus in a point you made earlier]

Therory #3
Sean has every intention of going to see this girl but has twitted away some of the money. If in the middle of this, she completely blew him off maybe he spent all that money, saying fxxk it. He could have stopped coming around because he hates confrontation and can't deal with a direct challenge. To avoid it completely all he has to do is not read this thread, pretty easy. All through the drama I came across his other posts and he was busy all over wp. He didn't seem the least bit bothered by anything more than having a hot dream and if it was normal. If I was his girl I would have been questioning his concern for my drama. I'm just not sure of the diabolical. This could easily started as just a thought and got bigger than he intended. My life is much like yours, Ouinon, I didn't have a clue what my behavior did to others, I just didn't want them to be mad at me. Sean might be in that place. He knows everyone is mad but he didn't do all this on purpose and has no clue how to fix it.

I agree, if this is a mistake and it was handled in a messed up immature way, this is the place where Sean should be safe to come and be embraced. This won' t work if he hasn't internalized it is insane to ask for more money. We aren't his parents catching him in something and here to wonder if he grasps it is messed up. oops and I'm sorry is a start.

The fact that he refuses to come back is whats pissing everyone off, and the fact he doesn't even seem to care leads people to think hes being selfish and doesn't even feel bad for what he did.

Bragging about playing on xbox and scoffing junk food after you've accepted peoples money and not used it as intended makes me believe that Sean does not deserve to be felt sorry foor.

Sorry.

Eat some vegetables Sean, they're cheaper than that crap you're eating. Maybe you can afford a 200 dollar taxi after that

But I currently don't think that he said this because he is planning on asking for more money, but because it was the only excuse he could think of for why he hadn't already gone.


Yep.


Like I say I think that the "$200 for a taxi" story might have been meant/used as an excuse for having not gone, etc.


I agree. It's because it felt rather bizarre, "suspicious" in some way, ( a sign of falseness ), etc, to be thinking about stuff like that, as if I'd turned into somebody else, a hyper-moral judge or something, that I began to totally rethink my attitude today.

I really do think that by sending money I have made myself partly responsible for what has happened. That's the surprise, realising that money is a weight/burden in some ways, and that I mistakenly thought that he could "carry" it, whereas it was actually too much for him.
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I think, currently, :lol that these things, the posts on FB about eating junk food and playing with his xbox360, and his not posting on here, are actually signs not of cynical abuse of others, but of retreat into escapism having got into such a mess that he has no idea how to get out of it.

One way out would be to simply send the money back to everyone, if he still had it, ... and there he may have fallen victim to a problem I used to suffer from, that if there was money in my wallet, or bank account, or if I had a cheque or a working credit card, I would inevitably, ineluctably, spend it, whatever the money was earmarked for.

I would keep telling myself, "it's alright if I just spend this much because I'll still have enough" ... like deadlines ... "I can leave doing x, y, z until the weekend because" ... and then "I can leave it until Sunday afternoon because actually it won't take me that long to do", ... and then "I can leave it until Sunday night because really if I concentrate I can do it in just an hour or two, especially as I always overestimate to begin with, leave lots of margin so it's bound to be ok" ... and find myself frantically racing to finish something at 3am, having discovered that the amount of time that I need is somewhere between the two extremes.

I don't know, but I suspect that it would be difficult to overestimate/exaggerate the degree to which seanmw is in a mess out of pure AS style cluelessness/executive function disorder, whatever we call it.
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no i do not want to post what i posted.
good night

This is like the time I sold raffle tickets for school when I was 7 and then didn't take the money and sold ticket book back to school (it was only $5 worth of tickets though). Only on a more serious scale of course!

Has anyone heard anything about Sean from any banned WP members like Ferdinand for example? AFAIK he was offering Sean a place to stay in Indiana.

He is totally disconnected by the reality of what he's done, what really burns me is that he's waiting on $200 for cab fare.
Sean is nothing but a con artist who saw an opportunity and he took it as far as he could. I was taken as a fool by supporting
him, heres my post dated Tue Jul 20, 2010 8:31 am on page 1 of this thread

Now it isn't about the money its about good people getting hurt by a selfish opportunistic punk, he should give the money back, then slink off to his parents basement and fap on his Xbox

1. Do you know the amount he collected as of now ?

2. Do you know the transportation the young man is planning to take to get to his destination and the price?

3. Did you even consider calling a taxi service in Indiana and ask how much it cost to pick up form plan and or bus stations? It may be that much

4. Did you consider that Sean was evicted recently ? Maybe that delayed his trip.

5. When somebody you at least care about is in trouble; do you just sit around all day in cry?
The Xbox may be his way to take his mind of the worse.

I'm not saying Sean isn't a scam artist but the Xbox playing is very weak argument.

Good grief NO!! !! Are you masochists who like being exploited and ripped off? There are so many worthy causes for your resources, money, time, attention, why waste them so? I can assure you there are plenty of other people on WP far more worthy of an embrace. Just because they make effort to contain the tragedies of their life and not become dependant on others to bail them out, does not mean that their lives are free of pain and upset.

What gets me is that this is so much a reflection of life in the big, wide, NT world out there. The way some people can behave totally disrespectfully to others, rip them off, and still they remain popular. Whereas other people behave decently yet become despised pariahs here merely because they state an opinion that is unpopular with the crowd. Interesting that it happens here, just the same, with people who allegedly do not follow the crowd and who frequently assume themselves to be 'deeper' than the average.

By encouraging him, you are not helping him. Why hasn't he been banned from WP yet? You get banned for saying the wrong word, yet fleece people of money and they just want to 'forgive and embrace' you. Crazy!

Personally I think all those who donated and are saying they "don't need the money" should donate an equal amount to a genuinely worthy cause....

(if stuck for suggestions, PM me and I'll give you the Paypal account of a *very* worthy cause....)

Now Ouinon s having pathy for him now?

I am black and white about scams. Scams are illegal and wrong, period. No gray area for when it's acceptable. You don't scam people, period. I don't care if you don't know how people are going to feel or react, I go by the laws and what the rules are, why do I need to know how people are going to feel or react if I decide to break a rule? Why break them? Why decide to do a scam? If you did get scammed, I would return the money, if you can't give it back, donate it to the children's hospital or to cancer foundation or whatever. Did Sean not know it's the right thing to return the money or give it to the children's hospital or whatever if his girlfriend did indeed tricked him? Who knows, he could have donated the money and didn't come back and tell us because he was embarrassed. Maybe he is too scared to come back and face us because he doesn't know how we are going to be treating him or be seen as.

Yeah I can understand why people do scams, they are desparate for money so they do a scam so they can keep on paying their rent and other bills or go out and Christmas shop for their kids or just so they get a new car. But it's still wrong. I would never do that.

And ferdinand told me he lived in Europe BTW, back when we were still talking. I think he actually said he was from there and I took it as he lives there. Could he mean he was originally from there and then he moved to Indiana?

o'rly I never take posts from sock puppets seriously