List one NT thing you do not understand.

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This is really confusing for me and I will never know the answer to this, and considering that no-one else will have an answer to this then that will mean there is no answer. Here goes:-

If NTs can block all the crowds of people out at a busy shopping centre in order to shop around, then how come they are still so good at spotting people they know, and why do they still look at others?
They obviously must be able to block the other people out, otherwise they'll all end up like me when I'm out in public. People always look at me as they pass or if I'm nearby, but why do they notice me if I'm acting normal and they can block others out? Shouldn't I be blocked out and not looked at then?

I really don't get it.

Why NTs have the need to always agree with each other in conversations when they clearly dont? Its like, stop trying so hard to agree with me when u clearly dont? Especially when girls talk about their problems, they just talk and want to be validated...they dont want solutions. When I talk about my problems...I want solutions, valid information that make sense not irrational BS.

I've noticed on the bus or train or in class... their need to text someone or ring someone. That often?! What on EARTH do you talk about? If I don't speak to my own mother for a while and she rings me I still struggle to keep a conversation going after a friggin' minute. You'd hear tumbleweed more than my own voice.

I was once seated in the midst of a group of young women. They talked continuously on the subject of earrings. How can anybody talk so long about earrings?

Make up. Is this just an NT thing? If there are Aspie girls out there who like it, no offense meant, but I just don't get spending money on all these potions and paints and smearing them all over one's face. From time to time, for a special effect, ok, although I never do. But the daily ritual and feeling like you can't go out with out this mask? I really don't get it. It seems sad to me. Plus the chemicals seem unsafe.

How some(not all) NTs can have irrational thoughts, feelings and actions and just accept it, they dont try to logically rationalize something? I ask why? There just like thats the way its suppose to be.

How when an NT is telling u something serious that you might not wanna hear, they expect you to make stronger eye contact then normal and they are well aware that your not reacting to this very well. Its just downright intimidating to make eye contact at that very moment. Those are the times when I cant make eye contact cause Im not reacting to this very well(I may even be on the brink of crying) and Im trying to make well thoughtout responces.

I'm autistic and I generally just accept my irrationality. All humans are by nature irrational on most levels that count. If we try really hard, we can create certain rational frameworks, like science. But we don't (not even any autistic person I've ever met) truly think in everyday terms, in a very rational way. Emotions, hidden biases, various templates that form how we perceive things, all of these things and more interact in our minds and cause irrational thoughts, more irrational thoughts than we can ever possibly get rid of. I almost consider the desire to be totally rational a bit irrational. Not that I'm against rationality, I just don't think it's possible to constantly be logical, although it's possible to fool oneself into thinking one is. In my case, I'm really terrible at conventional abstraction-based logic anyway so I don't even try unless it's really important.

When they fill someone in on their schedule and the person they're talking to doesn't really need to know. For example, my boyfriend asked me to call my sister to let her know that we got her call. So I had to ask her why she was calling. She told me they were on their way to somewhere we were eventually meeting up. Then my boyfriend felt like he had to tell her that we were going to the park for a couple of hours before. I don't get that. It was going to take her awhile to get to the place and we were already in the area. So we'd have to wait for them anyway. But then again, maybe it was a problem because he was making me tell her and it just came out mechanical and forced.

Also, indulging in nature for the sake of looking. I have to keep thinking of evolutionary or scientific reasons and observe patterns to keep me interested.

Someone mentioned it, but eye contact in genearl. Sure, I get that it's supposed to be important, and I do at least infrequently during conversation, but I have no idea how long/much/intense I'm supposed to make eye contact. And I don't understand why some people get so upset when you don't make the right amount of eye contact during a conversation. Too much, too little, too intense, not paying enough attention, /sigh/ my eyes alone don't mean how much I'm paying attention in a conversation. I'm listening to your WORDS not your eyes...


And I cannot understand how people can desire to have a conversation with anyone and everyone - faking smiling/laughing, saying the same repeated small talk topics, getting nothing out of the conversation and getting to know the person no better...

I was looking on Facebook at my NT cousin's page and all her friends (they're aged around 17 to 21 or older), and most of the things they write on each other’s wall makes no sense. One of them wrote to another, ''love da way u punched me in da face todayy x lol xx'', and I thought why would you like it if somebody punched you in the face, even as a joke? If I punched a friend in the face as a joke, they'll be sure to act shocked. And they're always swearing at eachother and abusing eachother, but as in joking, but if somebody joked to me saying, ''are you sleeping with that really weird bloke again? lol haha'', and I put back, ''f**k off lol xx '', they'll think I really mean it, even if I wrote, ''luv u'' aswell, and added ''haha'' and ''lol'', and all the other little signs to tell you that they're just joking. If a friend on Facebook wrote back ''f**k off xx lol....love u'' to me, I would subconsciously know that it was just in a joke form, and would not get offended (and I'm an Aspie!) But if they just wrote ''f**k off'' without no kisses or any other sign of humour, I would get offended.

I would have thought NTs knew better with all this humorous messaging.

two-facedness!!

How can they be so overly nice and friendly to someone that it seems genuine then insult them badly as soon as they walk out the door???

It is just training from childhood. Now that you ask the question I don't know.

Why children play games with confusing rules and make up new rules as they go.

The phrase: "in spite of".

As in:

"In spite of [insert name here]'s [insert condition here] s/he was able to be successful."

"In spite of John's Asperger's Syndrome he was able to be successful."

"In spite of Alice's ADHD she was able to achieve great things."


This assumes that the "conditions" were "bad" things to be overcome, like obstacles in the way of people's "success". How do you know this? Are some of the things that are being labelled "bad" traits that could be advantageous in some circumstances and disadvantageous in others. Success according to whom anyway?

I don't think it's that simple. Statements like these don't take into account the whole person. I don't think it's actually possible to "peel away" a "condition" from the whole human being. This is why I'm not comfortable with the idea of putting labels on human beings.

I've never read statements like:

"John was able to be successful in spite of the system."

"Alice was able to achieve great things in spite of the overcrowding, coercion, noise and bullying that she had to endure on a daily basis."

You could go the other way and place the blame on the surrounding social and physical environment. Yet, most so called "empowering" statements seem to "blame the victim".

Why?

Actually, I hate the word "victim". Perhaps it would be better to say: "Blame the individual."
But then again, if you place all of the "blame" on society, that doesn't leave the individual accountable for their own actions. I think it's the ecological interaction between the individual and the social/physical environment.

People interdepend on each other and I think that the words "in spite of" conveniently gloss over this point. The words "in spite of" make assumptions. It's black and white thinking. It seems simplistic.

How about...

"Joan was able to be successful in spite of being human."


I don't know.