Do you have a sense of gender identity?

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I've always felt the same way. Androgynous.

I also do not have a strong sense of gender identity ,though I would mind if i became a male,I would like to fashion myself as an androgenous female for I dont have pronounced hips,or the ideal body..though i cannot deattach myself from the aesthetic of femine frilly clothing at times it is whimsical and light but i also engoy wearing mens clothing.I am asexual for now but a die hard feminist because my preconceived notions of female and male clash with societies ...would anyone like to explain what ROMANCE is.also I was trying to explain to my mother i wanted to have my "breasts" removed because it would be more comfortable since i have hyperplasia the uneven proportion of glandular tissue to mile or something of that sort mine have never really developed.and i would not want a foerign implant.but they see this as mutilation why do nts see body modification that is unusual as destructive?

sorry for the poor grammer i am fatigued.

Except for the clothes I wear every day to work the farm, I tend to relate to clothes more as costumes, so I too wear all sorts of get-ups... I've got victorian riding skirts, prairie bonnets and dresses, buckskins, and cowboy costumes. I love to do parades and living history stuff so I can wear them and not be weird by other's standards. =0)

Yes that would certainly qualify.

I'm female, but not feminine. A woman, but not a 'lady'. There's a difference.

Female is the gender I identify with biologically. (I believe it's one end of a spectrum, and I don't believe anyone falls 'purely' at either end, but I happen to fall closer to that end.) Feminine is what my culture decrees I should have to do and be to be an 'acceptable' person with two X chromosomes. And a lot of it I can't sign up to.

Superficially it's about stuff like being obsessed with shoes, or having a thing about pink, but really it's about being less. All my life, I've been told that to be acceptably 'feminine' I should talk less, eat less, show less of my anger or need or pain or intelligence, have less time and less space to myself and fewer opportunities, expect to earn less, and generally expect less of everything than if I were a man.

I decided I wanted a bigger life than that. To some people, apparently, that means I'm not a proper woman. OK, so I'm an improper one!

BINGO!! ! Though natch I'd say you were a proper woman, just not a proper LADY.

I'm male but just not manly in the cliché sense. I'm hereto so it works for me, But it makes it awkward when trying to talk or type without sounding unmanly.

Oh, totally. I still remember how puzzled I was when, aged about ten, I entered this fancy dress contest at a holiday camp. I was dressed in a sari, hair parted, red spot on my forehead, and when the MC asked what I was I told him I was an Indian woman. (Not very PC now, but where I grew up we didn't know any actual Asians and this kind of thing was acceptable then.) The minute I got offstage, my mother dragged me over and hissed 'An Indian lady, not an Indian woman!' To call any adult female a woman was actually tantamount to an insult when I was growing up. Only now do I understand why.

I also understand, I think, why a 1960s 'girls' guide to life' book in my collection says 'Beware the woman who is merely female without being feminine'. They don't say why, but I assume it's because we lack that essential feminine quality - restraint. And from the sheer number of men who complain that they'd love to see their dates eat a proper meal, worry less about their hair getting messed up, and make love with the lights on for a change, I gather that's something that many guys find refreshing. Hence, its threat to the more genteel woman.

One does not have to be an Aspie female to grow up with out knowing this. Men tend to be visually stimulated. It feels good, and often is a turn on, merely to look. Women, and I don't know if that includes all women, don't experience it that way. I am not a woman, so I cannot be certain, but as I understand it, attraction for women is much more a very private personal relational experience. It would make sense to me that doing it with the lights on, as illogical as it seems, might make some women feel exposed.

Submission and dependence, not restraint. I can be very restrained... that's when I REALLY scare people.




I think any change from what you're used to can be refreshing for some folks. Not everyone finds predictability reassuring... I find it stultifying. I like a lot of variety in my sex life... except for the big O... must have that everytime.
But some guys obviously LIKE the 50's housewife thing, or the drag queens wouldn't do it so well...

*Pulls out notepad* I don't remember giant Japanese robot in sex ed.

Last edited by Ebonwinter on 10 Jul 2009, 9:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm a guy and supposed to be unable to consider coitus to have come to completion without ejaculation and I find the expectation that I must manifest a giant Japanese robot to be considered finished to be trying. Why can't we just have enjoyed what we did, must there always be an expectation of explosive climax? So confining. Explaining to a woman from a culture that takes the lack as a sign she was inadequate that you simply process sensory stimulus far differently than other people and found the entire thing intensely enjoyable completely ruins the moment.

I heard sex was magical but never thought of giant Japanese robots would be in the picture ok we need to rewrite the birds and the bees to include the giant Japanese robot

Well if you don't know about the giant Japanese robot, do you at least know about the Orbital Launch Facility G and the Flight Check Protocols? Cause if you don't know about the robot, at least if you know those things the robot will find his own way into the picture. And do we need to talk about Witty Verbalizers too? You know how that fits into the whole thing right? How about Safety Polymers?

I really love being around very bright people. I draw great energy just from being in their presence or reading their words. Something I dislike about it is on occasions when I find myself not following the metaphors, or not understanding the intended meanings of the words being exchanged. And I have learned from experience that the response from asking for clarification, in those situations, often only serves to make me feel like I look dumb in their eyes, and on some occasions, it even earns me a sarcastic, hurtful remark.

I know I'm off topic.

Gender identity... Please explain?
Sometimes I don't feel like I even have a human identity.

I'm trying to behave 'girly' as I see the things that are considered more acceptable. eg nice clothing, slender, make up, hair style etc.
But I find it artificial, and a lot of work. In order to read as 'feminine' it must be an obsession to maintain the cues, and this leads to things that are considered 'feminine' in a negative way such as pickiness with food, preoccupation with appearance, obsession with shopping and spending money... I'm starting to think that this is not a woman's personality, but behaviours arising as a consequence of trying to fit an ideal.

If being a tomboy is dissapproved of but so is 'hyperfemininity' as well, I think I'll just be a tomboy. Less work