"The Asperger's Stare"

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cosmiccat
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30 Jul 2009, 9:32 am

Yes, I have the stare. Sometimes it occurs when I'm concentrating very hard on something, or intensely following a train of thought, and it feels, as though I have locked myself into place while my mind travels.

GreenPele
Snowy Owl

Joined: 27 Jul 2009
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30 Jul 2009, 9:51 am

pandd wrote:

GeomAsp wrote:

It is extremely frustrating, but I’ve found that if you walk about grinning inanely from ear to ear, or you walk around with your eyebrows slightly arched, this question “what’s wrong?” and its variants occurs much less, and that’s a relief since even complete strangers passing on the street are not necessarily shy about asking it.

The draw back is that it is rather exhausting and likely to leave you face muscles sore and tired. Headaches are also common, even NTs can get headaches from smiling.

I agree with that, I've found that when I walk into a classroom or grocery store and smile a lot people seem to think I'm more "normal", but I can only keep smiling for so long. Still it helps me feel more comfortable going into a new place because I don't get the weird "looks" from everyone.

sartresue
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30 Jul 2009, 12:57 pm

Up and down the stares topic

My NT children have commented that they are afraid of my gaze when I take off my glasses. :twisted:

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Acacia
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31 Jul 2009, 10:18 pm

sartresue wrote:

My NT children have commented that they are afraid of my gaze when I take off my glasses. :twisted:

My NT son (who is only 4) notices when I have this kind of stare; he will try to get my attention and sometimes acts out to do so. He is a very perceptive child. This is where my traits of AS concern me. I don't want to create problems for my son. My occasional torpors seem to distress him. He wants an engaged parent, and I space out far too often. It becomes really apparent through my eyes.

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Magnus
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01 Aug 2009, 1:07 am

When I stare it's like I'm absorbing information all around me. It's not self absorbed. I do reflect alot so I know the difference.
People have told me that it looks creepy but I still don't stop it even when I know I'm doing it. It's like playing a video game...

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nothingunusual
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01 Aug 2009, 3:44 pm

cosmiccat wrote:

This is probably the reason for my particular gaze.

Mine is less of a straight-out stare. Deep more-so and a bit 'glassy'. People have remarked that it seems as if I'm looking straight through them.

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SplinterStar
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01 Aug 2009, 3:58 pm

I was at a wedding last year and my mother became mad at me. I asked her what I did wrong and she claimed I was staring at the bride-to-be like I was going to kill her or something. I laughed to break the tension I had created around me by simply staring (my mom wasn't the only one that noticed) and of course, I laughed too loud like a lot of aspies do, making it ever so awkward.

When I stare too long at anything other than my shoes, people think I'm going to kill them/steal their soul. I'm just that good of a charmer. :lol:

RarePegs
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01 Aug 2009, 4:05 pm

nothingunusual wrote:

cosmiccat wrote:

This is probably the reason for my particular gaze.

Mine is less of a straight-out stare. Deep more-so and a bit 'glassy'. People have remarked that it seems as if I'm looking straight through them.

Yes, I'm like that but now I generally look all over the place

missboots
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Joined: 15 Oct 2007
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Location: Las Vegas, NV

02 Aug 2009, 12:11 pm

My son has this stare (I don't know that I do, I get told I stare of into space and become pretty unresponsive, but no one has commented on how I look when it happens.)
I caught it on camera once.

missboots
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02 Aug 2009, 12:12 pm

Acacia wrote:

GreenPele wrote:

I have been told I look "angry" a lot even when I'm feeling happy..... Maybe because I have a weird stare too?

Yeah, maybe. It sounds an awful lot like me.

I usually get:
"what's wrong?"
"what are you angry about?"
"where are you right now?"
"what happened?"

...and so forth. All while I am feeling perfectly fine.

People gather a heck of a lot of misinformation from my eyes.
That's what led me to start this thread in the first place.
My eyes do not seem to communicate my inner feelings in the way that other peoples' do.
That's a complication I could do without.

Why does it happen?
Does anyone know?

I get it ALL the time, too.

Perseus
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02 Dec 2011, 5:02 pm

Hello I'm afraid I'm not diagnosed (planning to) but it's little more than a formality as it's incredibly obvious that I'm an aspie. Regardless of this uncertainty I still trust my own ability to asses myself. Anyway I tend to stare at my friends and teachers when they speaking and I can tell that they always feel uncofomfortable and my friends say it's very empty, I was wondering if we all have this problem or do some of us detest looking at someone in the eyes?

-Skeksis-
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02 Dec 2011, 5:21 pm

People with blindness and visual impairments can have the same empty look to their eyes. So can veterans of war suffering from PSTD. Or anyone in a crisis/abusive situation after long enough.

Joe90
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02 Dec 2011, 6:17 pm

People stare at me inappropriately all the time, maybe the majority of Essex have AS.

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Sparhawke
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02 Dec 2011, 6:19 pm

I was once told I had that stare many years ago by a girl, not since though so maybe I have learnt to hide it or people just do not tell me?

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deconstruction
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02 Dec 2011, 6:36 pm

I have an Aspie stare in real life, but not in photos. In photos, my eyes are focused because I can focus on camera (at least for those few seconds needed to take a picture), but I can't focus on people long enough.

NathanealWest
Toucan
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02 Dec 2011, 7:27 pm

I think I have it.

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