WHERE have all the Adults gone???

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tell her your inner child wanted a bedtime story. Even NTs have an inner child.

or make certain you have a cat or dog beside you to "read to" lol

I would very much like a translator. We've lived with this our entire lives and some of us have only recently gotten diagnosed. Now I finally realize that I was speaking an entirely different language my whole life. While all of the support thats out there is all welll and good...what about those of us who have spent our entire lives perfecting the art of pretending there was nothing wrong when there was something wrong.

<-----tired of pretending and suffering in silence.

and being able to fake it, doesn't make any of it easy.

I'm still trying to find, measure and understand the differences. Anything that might help me achieve these goals would be very helpful. Something as simple as good research of how Aspergers impacts people as they age would be a tremendous step in the right direction.

Something that really gnaws at me is the oft repeated statement that some high percentage of Aspies are not employable. If it is true that a high percentage of DIAGNOSED Aspies are unable to find work, it is likely because they are still very young. I know I certainly experienced a developmental delay -- I didn't start to find my feet until my mid 30's at which time I was about as able to hold a full-time job as any average (NT) 18 year old.

I don't think there's much to find. The gap with NTs becomes wider and impossible to breach anymore, because the way of relating of NTs becomes more and more complex with age. That's the only thing that changes, except for individual changes based on personal circumstances.

For starters, there's the added stress that this brings to every situation, and everything that results from that stress.

. . and who knows what additional ailments we are at risk for. Already, from reading this forum, it looks like those on the Spectrum may have a higher than average incidence of endocrine disorders.

but nobody is looking because, of course, we don't exist.

How does it become more complex with age? If anything, the rule set becomes more static. It is easy to know what is expected of you. The non-work social interactions can be difficult to navigate. Other than that: go to work, do your job, pay your bills, maintain the items you're responsible for, save for retirement, don't kill others.

How does it become more complex with age? is a question I can relate to.....

I find our friends in the NT world develop deep and powerful social skills as they mature and I personally find it hard to keep up. I haven't kept up and I feel more aspie around them as I get older. The complex language of the social world appears to evolve with people as they get older.

I'm frightened at the thought ^ of getting even older and getting even more shut out. I don't see that many old(er) aspies to draw encouragement from, the future indeed looks bleak. What's to prevent someone from pulling a Michael Douglas in 'Falling Down'? I have the feeling that the experts on aging don't keep data on more visible disabilities and getting older let alone the spectrum.

My HFA friend is 15 years my senior and he used to mention taking his own life when his dad died. I think what prevented him from doing so about 5 years ago was his sister arranging to have another housemate come in. I am sure he still has a plan but currently his interests and his new routine have kept him grounded

There's been some research into burnout (caused by prolonged pressure to fake) and its incidence in the high rate of suicide among autistics over 50. What else do we need to know?

The goal of research is to improve the autistic's chances in quality of life. In that sense, there's not much that can be done for us over 40, as we're past the age of building ourselves socio-economically. At this stage, what we need is help with our personal circumstances and the comorbids. And a translator would be nice help.

The younger the autistic is, the more determining any specialized services are for his long-term future. Just for the sake of example: if someone had told me when I was 9 that there's such a thing as the non-verbal and that it's important for one's success in life to look out for it, I might've evolved into a successful professional or I might have shared life with a kind man. I discovered the existence of the non-verbal by myself in my forties, it's changed nothing for me socio-economically. My life at this age is already too crystalized for it to make much of a difference.

Have to manage finances, pay bills, keep things clean, find a job, go to work, do not do things that will get you fired, know all the things that will get you fired, less of a safety net (if you are on your own), needing to pick up all kinds of responsibilities that you likely had a taste of as a child and teenager, but never fully experienced.

Adulthood is complex, and difficult. At least for me. Trying and failing to manage the things you listed (except for not killing others - that one is fairly easy) caused me multiple burnouts.

2wheels, our special interests keep us alive and kicking enthusiastically, no one can beat us at the pleasure our special interests give us. I'm happier than any NT I see around me. In my personal case, just sitting here typing and watching my 3 rescue cats sleep, gone from starving, sick, depressed, tortured little souls to obnoxiously spoilt primadonnas with their own savings bank account and whose biggest problem in life is I haven't scratched their cheeks in a full hour, makes my life heavenly in ways an NT will never have the fortune to feel. I've had humans tell me that they're jealous of the immense love and devotion I give to stray cats. I glowed - it's my "revenge" for the massive rejection I've suffered from humans since birth.

It would indeed be nice if someone were to look into this. I have little doubt that improved awareness and understanding would greatly reduce the need to fake, therefore reduce the burnout.



Translation and improved awareness would go a long way to improving my quality of life. After working at the same place for almost 10 years, I suddenly find myself on hiatus (unemployed) looking for a job. Starting a new job would be much easier if I could just tell people that I'm an aspie and may not pick up on non-verbal or overly subtle communications. Just as one would get a deaf person's attention before speaking, it is best to be clear and explicit in speaking to me. Say it outright; don't expect me to read between the lines.



Speak for yourself. I have made progress even within the last 10 years, even without realizing that I'm Autistic. I would greatly benefit from help in finding out what I'm missing and finding workarounds for what I am too old to learn. Also, there is far more than socio-economics -- pure quality of life can't be measured in money.

Interesting to read there is a correlation between endocrine disorders and autism spectrum disorders because I have an autoimmune form of hypothyroidism (Hashimoto's thyroiditis) and Addison's disease. Not to be really creepy, but I honestly feel as though my body is destroying itself without my help. I've felt that way all of my life. Neurologically I, like others on the spectrum, wax and wane between under- and over-stimulated. Sometimes I force my will on shutdowns and meltdowns but it always backfires.

I'd also like to hear more about older folks with Asperger's, kind of like what I have in store for me maybe it will help some. I'm in my mid-thirties and I already feel like I'm dying. Not that I want to die, really... just that I already am, every day, my body and my mind are spent and giving in to the inevitable.

Anyone else feel exhausted and done with life even though you're not "old" yet?

I have tried looking for some information relating to Autism and a lot of the time it says "your child...". I am not a child. I need information for adults.

I didn't read much of the thread - but I very strongly agree with the OP- we need more resources for adults with ASD's -not just children and and parents of children with ASD's-

Your best best are if you're near a bigger city, look for groups to meetup with on meetup.com, go to autistic conferences and try to meet people there, or look for camps such as Autreat to meet people (they exist, but few and far in-between). It's worth saving the money for or going for a few days if you can't go to the entire length of the camp or conference. It will give you at least a little bit of what you search for rather than nothing at all! Good luck justanothermonkey.