How Often Do You Think About Suicide?

Post Reply New Topic

I do frequently. Sometimes I'm unsure if im even able to be alive. Obviously one has to cope with the adult world, and the inability to work is just driving me insane

make it day by day now. I go to therapy. I take medication for depression. Other people tell me that I am one of the happiest people they know (a lifetime of putting on the mask makes one a pro at it).

I am slowly finding my way to the me I never had. At least I no longer wake up each morning hating the fates for not letting me pass in my sleep. But still, there is hardly an hour that goes by when I don't think about the death.

i want to live forever but i know i can not, so i will hold tightly onto my life until i lose my grip.

i think people who commit suicide are like cowards. they just want to run away from things that are hassles that must be surmounted in order to progress through life.

please do not remonstrate me about this post because you will do so in vain.

I do think about suicide, but I don't bother to tell anyone any more, because my family just roll their eyes, as they think I'm only saying it to get attention and sympathy. Also everybody knows I haven't got the guts.

thats a good point i could not explain "anxiety" in words wish I was creative "The Scream " says it all really.

More like never for me. But harming other people, that's another story.

_________________
LIONS-STAMPEDERS-ELKS-ROUGHRIDERS-BLUE BOMBERS-TIGER-CATS-ARGONAUTS-REDBLACKS-ALOUETTES

The Canadian Football League - What We're Made Of

Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.

Every day is a gift- cherish it!

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."

I actually think about it a lot...I just feel like I have nothing really worthwhile to contribute to the world, nothing productive I'll be able to do once I'm out of college, if I ever DO get out. I also don't have that many real-life friends, nothing much in common with my peers. My dad and stepmother are also elderly and may not be around for much longer, so once they're gone, I'll have even less of a reason to stick around, myself.

I'm really matter-of-fact about it, though...I just think that since I have nothing to contribute, and there's nothing I'm good for, I should just get out of the way and allow space and resources for those who CAN contribute something.

Thoughts of suicide are pretty much omnipresent.

I have a major anxiety and depression problem as well as AS. These were, I think, partly caused by allistic society's reaction to me as an aspie. My efforts at attempting to relate to just about anyone else have resulted in social ostracism, so it's not unusual for weeks to go by without having any social contact beyond that needed to buy food. The day before yesterday I finally met up with a friend for a coffee - the first time I'd had a face-to-face conversation lasting more than a couple of minutes in 23 days.

There is a mental health problem, but the shrink's response to that is to try yet another drug - having tried 6, plus beta-blockers, and having read up on the actual evidence for efficacy beyond placebo effects ( Not great: see this article, for example), I'm reluctant to face more side effects for little or no gain. She also wants me to to get help from the autism service in town, which is only geared up for people up to their early twenties, and certainly doesn't have the facilities for complex interventions. The one in the next town, which does have more facilities, told me to get lost or pay them (with what?).

Meanwhile, everyone with mental health problems, autism, or who just doesn't fit in with allistic society is being vilified by the media as a scrounger.

So far, the reasons I haven't taken my own life have to do with the awkwardness and/or unreliability of the methods available, and sheer spite: me autoeuthanising means the Tories win. I genuinely think that the Tories, NuLabour, UKIP, the ConDems and everyone who voted for them want me dead - the latter because they know how the political parties treat the vulnerable, but support them anyway. Every day I stay alive is another day I give the finger to human society.

I live in terror of a brown envelope from DWP-Atos (the social (in)security authorities), because I am an easy target for their lies and bullying.

So yes, the answer to your poll is "daily", because of the realities of being an aspie in this sh***y society, but "constantly" might be more accurate.

^^^^

I like the tone of your jig, if you go through with it they win, if you botch it it's like a massive face palm, , if you have the funds have you thought of Dignatas ?

I think about it every day, but not the same way as others. Granted I do think about it every day but it is more a correlation to energy seeking the shortest path. The reason I think of it is in part I am curious what lies beyond, and wonder what death would be like. I have dealt with it every day that I can remember but not because I want to die but because my mother committed suicide just before I was two, I believe everyone has the right to suicide, and I don't know what it is like to walk in anyone else's shoes, or have a right to tell you what you are feeling and thinking is not that painful. But I can tell you my life would of been much different had my mother not committed suicide, maybe better maybe worse. I don't know...

I do know that the truths we tell ourselves, are only true from a certain point of view. We can only control our own actions, you never know who or what will end up in your life, or how just one look, one letter, a moment of your future could affect the rest of the world, or just one child, one random person, or change your life.

Besides I worry that there might be nothing, and this is my only chance.

I usually think about on the basis of once, maybe twice a month.

A couple of years ago, I was having an awful year and I was thinking about suicide constantly, even to the point of almost driving my car off the cliff of a mountain near where I live. But I ended up going home, telling my parents and went to the emergency room where they gave me a psych evaluation. But the shame and anxiety of going into the psych ward scared the crap out of me and I ended up going home. That was the closest I had ever been to taking my own life.

If you can believe it, I'm actually engaged. But even through this engagement, I still think about suicide. I feel like I'm trapped in a crevice between those who are lower on the spectrum and those who aren't diagnosed with Autism at all. And a part of me thinks that no one will really miss me. In fact, it would be better if I did go, so that I won't be a burden on other people. Even with medication, I still have those thoughts.

I think the only thing holding me back is my fiancee and my family (not to mention that I'm just scared of taking my life). And I know this post seems all doom and gloom, but I'm just putting my occasional thoughts out there.