Advice: stop the video games and choose useful obssessions

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Just because someone is an avid gamer doesn't mean they dwell in their basement alone all the time, or even at all. Someone could dwell in their basement alone all the time with probiotics and herbal enemas, or whips and chains...

There are arcades, Internet cafes, public places with free wifi, LAN parties, tournaments, etc. Lots of gamers play with friends and/or family in public or privately. Believing gamers are basement dwelling losers is just being prejudiced.

I acknowledged that it's a stereotype. I also stated that it exists for a reason. It exists to describe those that are like that.

So you think stereotypes are good then? Because that's the vibe I'm getting from your post.

f**k stereotypes, judge the person individually. I don't judge all neurotypicals just because they don't happen to be on the spectrum or vegetarians because they don't eat meat.

Stereotypes = awful

Well, I spend a lot of my time on video games as well. My reason isn't only because it is one of my special interests, but it's also because it is a useful dissociative tool. I play video games for kind of a not-happy reason. It is a way that I can escape from the world without actually leaving it by traveling to some other universe or killing myself. If I didn't feel so unhappy by existing, then I think that I would devote more of my time and smarts to something else. I do devote a lot of time to research on various topics of interest, collecting information, but if I wasn't so depressed and angry, I would probably spend more time practicing my instrument, or actually doing my homework or something that I won't regret spending so much time doing later in life. Honestly, for all it's worth, I don't see myself regretting dissociating with video games, because if I didn't do it, I'd be dead. I just heard my band director talk about how he regretted spending so much time with video games, and he never regretted a time he practiced his instrument.

goldfish21, I like your current signature

I imagine most 'gamers' do not spend all of their time playing video games...there is probably a small % compared to the over-all population of people who would claim the title 'gamer' who literally spend all their time aside from eating, sleeping and a shower here and there playing games.

Fit into this society?...no thanks.

Sometimes I dwell in my basement/bedroom I call it the dungeon, has some cement walls and unfinished ceiling listening to music and maybe having a beer or gin and tonic or something, alone...oh noes.

If I was into online dating, I would also find that a massive turnoff because it shows complete disrespect for other varieties of gamer like me who don't use computers More seriously, I would not be interested because I would have nothing in common with them. If I was a keen computer gamer, it would be a good thing. And I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone or even spammed by admirers who had no respect for my interests so putting people off who I wouldn't like anyway is a bad thing because...?

Sounds relaxing.

Happy Holidays everyone!

Thanks! Happy Holidays to you, too!

Can't wait until January 2nd!

I do know a lot of gamers - primarily NT, a large number of NTs who don't fit normal social groups, a higher than average number of BAP or autistic people as well.

And unlike this stereotype of hiding in basements playing games, leeching on society, etc.
1. Within the group of people I know, a starting salary of $65k out of college is on the low side. Making 6 figures isn't unusual.
2. People use gaming as a social activity, both online and offline. Minecraft is one of the primary ways I interact with people I know from college who live on the other side of the country.
3. The only people I know who are living with their parents are doing that because they are helping take care of their parents.
4. Even the people I know who have basements for video gaming invite people over to game. I've watched people play horror games in unfinished basements set up with giant beanbags. I've slept off a migraine in a basement set up for games and then got a game which requires at least 5 people in the same location to be able to play installed on my laptop. Again, people are social.

Really, from what I've seen in college the gamers are actually more social, than the non-gamers. And on average, what career paths gamers are called to are ones which make money. (And yes, there were stereotypes like these all through college "They've never seen a female!" when our social group had a much larger percentage female than the college as a whole for example)

There are stereotypes for a reason - its because people don't like geeks. It's not because they're true.

As for the use of games - I'm currently using board games as a major part of my teaching. I learned many social skills through tabletop roleplaying games, I've improved my abysmal hand-eye coordination through video-games.

I never said that stereotypes were good or bad. I'm pointing out the simple fact that they exist.. and also that perception is reality. If you don't want others to perceive you as a particular stereotype and make judgements about you, don't act or behave in such a manner that would make them associate you with a particular negative stereotype. It really is that simple.

Stereotypes = valuable

So what don't express your interest in something if people have created a negative stereotype for it? Reminds me of this person on some other site that said they think anyone who has largish brigh colored sunglasses is an a**hole...well doesn't stop me from wearing mine(kinda stupid example but whatever), and if people associate gaming or any other largely harmless interest with some negative stereotype that should be their problem....people shouldn't just conform to conform.

I didn't say not to have any interest. I have friends with eclectic interests, but they maintain a balance in their lives. I'm saying don't expect to play video games 24/7 and not have others perceive you in various negative lights for it. It may seem harsh, but it's reality that people judge obsessive gamers as losers.

So, instead of doing the work I should be doing right now, I just downloaded the source code of Maelstrom and hacked it to add cheat codes, then wasted hours playing with the cheat codes.

... so much for going from playing games to game programming.

Alot of us here though are saying that this simply doesnt matter. Because it goes both ways.

Those that judge me negatively for being so into games, or into other things as well (cosplay, anime, conventions), or for being just a geek in general, well.... I look at them, and they're VERY often the "typical" sort that follows all of the things that society says people should like to do. They drink. They go to movies. They stare blankly at the TV. They sit around and just mindlessly talk alot, and often the subject is idiotic gossip ("Did you hear about what so-and-so did? Let's sit here for 10 minutes and talk about them behind their back!"), or maybe they sit around and yell at their favorite football team when they're losing. And did I mention the drinking, and the getting drunk?

Usually, *I* see most of that sort as "losers".

And I dont want to be like them, and typically dont really want to hang out with that sort either.

As I said... it goes both ways.

And really, why should I, or any of us, even care? The "geek" community is bloody huge these days... it's easy to simply stay within that, associating with tons of people that share alot of interests/hobbies/tendencies.