Do you think we should be allowed to mate?

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I'm very sorry that you are suffering. If you are feeling depressed, please seek treatment.

I am not suffering and I am autistic. I have a happy life with a husband and children and dogs and a house. My children have a happy life and are wonderful people who I am thankful for. I am proud of what I have accomplished in life- I grew up in a small, undereducated town; I was the first in my family to earn a Bachelor's degree; I just graduated from one of the top 14 law schools in the country, while balancing school and family. I don't want to be NT. I think I won the neurological lottery because the brain I was born with has made it possible to achieve what I have. Where I am from, normal is not something I wanted to be.

I've been depressed before and have had difficult social periods. It can get better, and through strategizing ways to achieve your goals, seeking out the supports you need, working hard, and a bit of luck, you can achieve what you want to in life- a career, friends, a spouse, and a family- if you choose.

Well, I mated and got away with it, and my offspring seems able and happy enough. No obvious problems arose from it, apart from the fact that he was a bit of bother occasionally, like any other healthy child, and most of it was the fault of other people. I don't regret mating at all. Maybe I shouldn't be allowed to mate again at my age, just for my own good, to avoid my having to do all that hard work again, but it's not really anything to do with ASD, I just think I deserve to put my feet up.

I know of a (probably) ASD lady who had 2 kids, one is doing fine (has some ASD traits), the other (diagnosed ASD) is struggling a bit with college and the threat of the world of work that might follow it, but it looks pretty clear that she'll get state benefits if worst comes to worst, and I think she'll end up as content as the average person on this funny old planet of ours. Her mother has had a lot of trouble securing her economic well-being, but it looks like she's achieved it.

Bottom line: In my experience kids can be a bit of a handful, but not enough to wish they'd never been born. As far as mild to moderate ASD is concerned, I don't think it makes any difference. You'd have to ask somebody else about full-blown autism, I have no experience with that, but somehow I suspect the answer would be the same.

Thank you for sharing. That is very inspiring and cool.

When you think about it, nothing comes in life without some sort of suffering in this world. If an NT wants a successful career, they have to work hard and suffer against procrastination so that they can study or train themselves. Same thing with athletes.

A lot of Autistic folk can achieve most of the same things. Except it may just take extra work and suffering to get through sometimes. Getting my Aviation Mechanic's certification and all the intensive training for that was probably 3 times more difficult for me than the NTs in my graduating class.

But I had a good support system, people helping me, and plenty of prayer.

Frankly, I would not mind having a child with ASD or any other malady. I would love 'em dearly and consider it a joy to maintain a good quality of life for them.

Wow, Tough Diamond, you're old enough to be my dad. And I appreciate what you shared here as well. I have a lot of respect for that.

Well what you have to ask yourself is that would you be happy if your parents were autistic and they thought that they would cause unnecessary suffering by bringing you into the world and they decided not to have children?

I certainly wouldn't because although I have gone through a lot of unhappy stages in my life due to bullying. I still look back in my life and value the opportunity I was given to live my life the way I want to. There is nobody that is NT, everybody has their own different quirks, it is just that some people are more noticeable than others which leads to them being diagnosed. Have you ever thought that if everybody was NT in this world and there was no differences and nobody suffered then this world would be a very dull and boring place for everyone?
Just thought that I would add my own 2 cent

But that would be like someone were telling more than a hundred years ago that black people should not create offspring, because their offspring would only be predisposed to lifelong suffering.

What really seems to be the problem, is intolerance. Oppression by the majority. If people would only be more accepting of people with Aspergers, the suffering would become less.

Kind of you to say so

Why should we miss out on the fun?

Just don't focus so much on the negative aspects. I could probably focus on all my negative attributes and want to give up as well. I just keep going and fighting through all the BS people throw at me.

I'm choosing to not have kids because of the financial burden and basically because my childhood was so tough, but that's just me. I don't think I'd make a good parent, others with autism though might just be right for it.

I agree.

But much of my suffering isn't really due to people. The fear of change thing, that's something I want to be able to overcome but it does cripple me at times.

Most times I just tell people I prefer to be me than try and become a copy of them and basically everyone else.

People also need to be more accepting of anyone who's just a bit different.

I am afraid that allowing people with ASD to be married would be a sin, (mainly) because of high risk of procreating children who will have ASD. Aspies can be often involuntarily, unconsciuosly irritating to "typical" people and it can easily lead to sins. People with ASD have high risk for having emotional problems, such as fears, anxiety disorders. Sensory issues experiences by Aspies can be "unbearable", they can be a form of not so small physical suffering.

My mentality wants eagerly to marry an Aspijka and does not exclude having biological children with her. It is its deep dream, it would prefer having a typical Aspie as a child than a "kooky twerp" as I. My nature is "mad on aspieness".

Which is worse in your opinion: being a NT without mental disorders, but with cancer or being an Aspie without physical health problems?

I get your point, but in that case, should all people be disallowed to mate, because there's a 'chance' that someone born may suffer more than their fair share?

There is a major ethical and moral flaw in your reasoning- not all people born on the autism spectrum suffer with depression, and even if they do, is it not their choice to live or not? Yes, there is a higher chance, but why does that need to mean life isn't worth living? I myself have struggled with depression for 7 years, to the point of having very serious suicidal thoughts, but I appreciate the choice of being alive or not, and I wouldn't trade anything for it.

Even those on the low-functioning end of autism can live a fulfilled life, I have a friend on the low-functioning end who lives happily, should he not be allowed to enjoy his life because there was a chance he could have dealt with depression/lived unhappily?

This is a terrible idea. (The removing children, that is.)

When a child gets to be around 9 months old, they form an emotional bond with whoever their primary caregiver is at the time. After that age, removing a child from their primary caregiver causes psychological damage, especially if they're less than 3 or 4 years old.

So, unless you can get the whole process (removing the child & giving them back) done before the child reaches 9 months of age, you'll be psychologically scarring a child, just on the possibility that their parents might potentially be unfit.

Plus, there is a shortage of foster homes already, and you want to vastly increase the number of children being removed from parents? Where are we supposed to put these kids? How can we ensure they won't get mistreated in substitute care, or end up without a consistent caregiver?

Most religious philosophies I have encountered have a section where they suggest procreation is not necessary...
One specifically/explicitly states that at the highest/pinnacle level of spiritual(?) achievement, the need for procreation is transcended...

I must have reached this level because I haven't a paternal boner, I mean bone in my body...
To say that bringing a child into this life system is one of my worse nightmares, is an understatement...

What is my point?
<scratch head>
Oh yes...
My point is that from *my* purely logical point of view, there is no justification for *anyone* to bring another life into this very, very broken life system...

Parenthood is an understandably selfish act...
...as a result of a selfish primordial, genetically inspired directive...
All organisms have been "designed" to reproduce...
Or they wouldn't be here...
Simples...

May I suggest you read, if you haven't done so already, a book by Richard Dawkings called "The selfish gene"?...


The simple matter of fact is that evolution has favoured those with an inherent inclination to reproduce...
Survival of the randiest, so to speak...

Should there be a law preventing *everyone* from procreating?
Hell yeah!
I would vote for that...
Bring out the snippers!

How about a plebiscite on the matter?

P.S.
Read my signature below...

Who gets to decide who breeds?

Many autistic people make great parents. Many neurotypicals make poor parents.

Not only we should be allowed to mate, but we should actually have sex with as many people as we want. Lot of it! People should be encouraged and taught to satisfate our needs!