WTF Article claims Positive Effects of Bullying Autistics
NowhereWoman
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Have you guys been reading the comments section below the article? Some FANTASTIC points are being made, among them the question of whether the author also feels bullying is a "perk" for non-autistics, or is it just autistics? - and the pretty obvious fact that if a school "needs" bullying in order to start working together, it's got some pretty major problems already.
By losing all traces of self-esteem and accepting the bullies are doing a laudable job in making your life hell, since you're worthless scum who deserves it. Then you see it as "positive".
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The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.
I also saw that NTs are offended by the article too. I must be the weird one to not interpret it the way the majority are. I also wonder what people in the comments would think if an ASD person interpreted it the same way as I did.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
She preaches to turn a bad event into a positive learning experience.
How do you turn chronic bullying and ostracism into a positive learning experience? There is nothing positive about that.
Let's see what those bullies did for me:
Thanks to them, it helped my parents realize I was on the wrong medicine because they were giving me seizures due to the side affects. I would get anxiety in school from the bullying so I would have a seizure, they sure helped my parents out with that.
Thanks to them I was falling apart so I was taken out of school for a few months and seeing a psychiatrist and he was trying to find the right meds for me and if it weren't for those bullies, there might not have been an AS diagnoses because my social issues might have gotten missed because my mom wouldn't have taken me to a therapist in 5th grade to see what was wrong with me if everyone in my school was an as*hole.
Also I got immune to the words ret*d and stupid and dumb and other negative comments.
Yes they did help me out and I also got to go to places with my dad when he had to do an appraisal so I got to see different towns and areas because I couldn't be left home alone.
And also I learned that kids are not always innocent and it taught me to not be so trusting and it got us to move to Montana and my brothers were happier and I also got a better education. It wasn't just the bullies, it was also the school system too and because they were over crowded and I still wouldn't have gotten the right education. It also got me to change too as a person.
I might have been the minority here because someone told me elsewhere this is rare so I guess I got lucky.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
As for rape survivors being stronger than before, well, I just call BS on that. I can, from experience, say that in 30 years of therapy, none of my counselors ever said that rape (or bullying) made me better or stronger than before.
Likely you are teaching new coping/self-defense skills to victims.
Likely, you are claiming these new skills will make the victim stronger (more empowered) than last time, or else why would you teach it?
The author never said bullying is good.
She is writing to parents saying that are good opportunities to pursue if it happens.
All the same, why try to stop bullying? Let it continue so you keep getting more and more of those good opportunities.
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The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.
Spidey, are you serious or just sarcastic? You are starting to worry and scare me.
You should seek out help before you kill yourself. If you attempt suicide, youț will probably end up a veggie instead of succeeding.
If you consider yourself a useless worthless piece of scum, why don't you do something productive and try to heal your wounds instead projecting your suffering onto other people?
Do you have a house and a job?
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I'm a Romanian aspie.
And that’s not what I said. Bullying weeds out those who aren’t good enough at not becoming the targets of someone capable of destroying them, whatever skills and natural assets this happens to require. There’s no question intelligence helps, but it’s not enough. Especially being street-smart helps. A decent size, sturdy bones and powerful muscles do, too.
That’s basically what we did for most of our existence, by far, except you can’t really live on “someone else’s kill”. We’re descended from herbivores and most of our diet came from gathering, not hunting, and, when we hunted, we had to make our own kills most of the time, because there are no kills if everyone is waiting to steal one from someone else. We developed our human brains because they enabled us to do all that better, but only as long as the rest of our body remained fit enough. Mens sana in corpore sano. A modern nerd would have no place there and wouldn’t last long.
You can bet they were. If not, we’d be, on average, more nerdy and less capable of fighting. But there’s no basis to assume, like you’re implying, that nerdy types are inherently smarter than the better-built ones. The only thing preventing us from becoming arbitrarily brainy and brawny is the energy cost. Unbalanced or otherwise inefficient designs are weeded out. Ironically, technological progress has increased enormously the amount of food well-off people can eat if necessary, so this means modern humans can afford to have both more powerful brains and muscles than our remote ancestors did.
… where they’d perish sooner rather than later. One of the shortcomings of relying on intelligence to make up for a lack of brute force is that it requires time to be any use. When there’s a tiger jumping to have you for dinner, or an angry gorilla about to tear your head off, you don’t have the time to discover metals and gunpowder, make a rifle and shoot them.
Evolution, by definition, selected the right balance of everything. And this right balance changed over time.
We adapted to being tool users. Our nails—and teeth—regressed because we fought better with knives, axes and spears. Note our hands did not regress, being our most versatile appendages for using tools; large claws would get in the way. We’re also good at throwing things. Another crucial part of our survival strategies, as you pointed out, is being social. Socially impaired individuals certainly had no chance till quite recently—they were just a burden the group couldn’t put up with, so our complex brains incorporated in their “firmware” all manner of tricks to get rid of them while still retaining what was important to keep the tribe together. We developed a tendency to have moral views which helped the group work and keep only desirable individuals in it. Groups which ended up being weak, for whatever reason, where vanquished by their stronger rivals. All we have now, from genes to culture, is what the victors of all the past battles imposed when they obliterated the losers.
The bullies who were defeated were those who chose the wrong targets, or too many. Only those who can afford to do their bullying succeed at it, like everyone else.
Don’t forget each one’s place. Admired or not, capability in something that doesn’t involve physically dominating someone means you may be useful, or even necessary, to the group, but doesn’t grant you power. If the leader of a tribe of barbarians decides he can use your skills, he won’t hire you or buy anything from you when he can just steal anything he wants by force, or keep you as a slave. Morals won’t stop him, because you’re not part of his group. It is natural for us, as was shown throughout history, to regard outsiders as less than human and generally fair game. It is force that makes him respect you. Those who can’t defend themselves on their own are always at someone else’s mercy.
Bullying typically happens after infancy and among peers. It’s a basic impulse to test one’s peers. If they yield, they’re unworthy, weak links in a chain, which is as strong as its weakest link. Groups which didn’t have this drive developed enough accepted more weak members than rival groups and eventually were destroyed by them. As always, there’s a balance. If the leader of a group bullied to the point that he ended up alone, he was screwed, too.
If bullying had been consistently selected against, it’d have essentially disappeared altogether. It’s hard to tell what being a “natural bully” means. If my scant experience means anything, in any group the size you mention, there are usually a few active bullies, who take the initiative, and a significantly larger number of followers, who join in once someone is already being picked on. The rest are mostly passive and uncomfortable if forced to take part. Few are likely to take the victim’s side, and there’d probably be even fewer of them if an authority, like parents or the school, didn’t encourage it. This suggests many would become initiators if the existing ones were to leave. I for one observed that whether someone started bullying me or not was far from a binary—more like it was triggered when my insultingly naïve and clueless behavior crossed some threshold, which probably made them think I deserved to be beaten up. Each peer had their own particular threshold, and they all had in common a basic ability and willingness to fight, with no moral qualms once they felt the aggression justified. I was never able to fight effectively, nor did I count on it, and stupidly held on to the belief that fighting was always wrong, as if thinking the way others behave is wrong somehow harmed them.
I greatly doubt I’m the first one to theorize this.
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The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.
I think it's important to remember here a basic truth, which I will quote from a random website because it is put so perfectly:
"When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't".
It's not an opinion. It's a fact. And it becomes your responsibility to act accordingly.
This author has written something ABOUT a specific group of people that clearly hurts and offends a vast majority of readers who belong TO that specific group of people, after reading the article that was published in a newsletter that is supposed to in SUPPORT OF that same specific group of people.
It's her move now.
If all she does is sit back and smile because the controversy is getting her programs free advertising, we know what kind of a sorry excuse for a human being she is.
And for me, that's all I really need to know.
I'd like to know why that newsletter who published it isn't retracting it and issuing a statement about it. In my opinion, this is now reflecting poorly on them and I eagerly await their response. This is a good opportunity to see what kind of character they really have, and who it is that they're really advocating for. The people who advertise in their newsletter, or the people they say the newsletter is for.
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~ ( Living in Parentheses ) - female aspie, diagnosed at 42 ~
BAP: 132 aloof, 121 rigid, 84 pragmatic // Cambridge Face Memory Test: 62% // AQ: 39
![Rolling Eyes :roll:](./images/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif)
You should seek out help before you kill yourself. If you attempt suicide, youț will probably end up a veggie instead of succeeding.
I like understanding things and not shoving problems under the carpet. I don’t want to take for granted most of what is usually said against bullying, because I don’t find it convincing. Refusing to listen to the other side doesn’t make it go away.
I’m not sure I can do anything productive anymore, let alone do it and heal my wounds. The closest I ever got to being on the way to some day becoming a productive citizen was to do nothing but study and what my parents told me to, and I didn’t even do that well enough. Then I snapped, tried to find a way to start living for real, and failed at it, too. It’s much too late to become a respectable person. I’m sorry if I’ve actually projected my suffering onto anyone. The things in life I’m most interested in finding answers about are naturally related to my personal troubles, but I just wanted to discuss them rationally when they came up.
Sort of, but I’m mooching off the system and don’t really feel independent. I want to study again and get an education that will some day earn me a real job, but it’ll take awfully long, and I don’t know what else to do with my life meanwhile. No matter what I do, hosting me will be a net loss for the world. I’m too ashamed of myself to try to socialize, and I’m sure people would hate me and give me what I have coming if I tried.
Well, let’s go back on topic. We can talk about this elsewhere if needed.
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The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.
There is one particular commenter over there who has replied SEVENTEEN TIMES to tell the autistic people who are replying that they, themselves, are the bullies for posting their disagreement of the article. Makes a person wonder why a supposed NT would be reading that anyhow, and particularly makes you wonder why he's so vocal about defending the article's stance, and likewise makes you ask yourself what kind of person would go over there and make it their job to passive-agressively defend bullying and make fun of people with ASD, singling them out personally to tell them how wrong they are. He even told someone that their ASD makes them different and so they're just reading the article's tone wrong. Like - HELLO - it's an article IN A PUBLICATION FOR AUTISTICS. If you know your tonw will be taken a certain way by us, how about writing it differently? Or changing it? Or removing it? The "policies" page clearly states they reserve the right to refuse to publish any submissions and/or advertising. But they keep choosing to just let this sit there.
And the thing is, that kind of response doesn't seem to be limited to that website. It's like people stake a claim and defend it with their life, except this argument isn't even applicable to them because they aren't autistic anyway. It's baffling.
Strange world we live in where some people get so much pleasure out of being contrary and offensive rather than admitting they hadn't realized how they were coming off and apologizing for hurting people. SMH.
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~ ( Living in Parentheses ) - female aspie, diagnosed at 42 ~
BAP: 132 aloof, 121 rigid, 84 pragmatic // Cambridge Face Memory Test: 62% // AQ: 39
I used to get bullied, and my parents told me to tell the teacher. The teacher wouldn't do anything, so I just got angry and fought back. An angry autistic fist slices right through a bully's soft tummy, and knocks the wind right out of them. Despite being underweight and sickly with a bowl haircut, the bullies knew well enough to leave me alone.
You have to fight back. The world is not safe, and never was.
What if you were a caveman, and you needed to fend off a wild beast from eating your wife and children? If you did not have those skills back then, you and your family would be dinner for a hungry bear, lion, tiger, or and other hungry caveman.
People haven't really changed much since those days.
Either way, the article is full of s**t, and I guarantee you it was written by a former (or current) bully. Bullying does not help anyone, but it is, unfortunately, a phase in life that most people go through. A lot of people get over it, a lot of people don't.
Good, kind, sensitive, caring people are usually the targets of bullies. These people DO need to learn to fight back, to set an example for more good people to follow.
It is really a good vs. evil scenario. The evil side is quick to dominate and use violence over the good. The good HAS to defend good, and if more good people stood up to bullies and put them in their place, then there wouldn't be bullying. There would be noone to bully.
Revolutions against bully regimes are also good. If a group of 20-50 guys and girls banded together, they would be able to gang up on the bullies and do some serious damage.
It's war. Don't let your side (our side) be defeated.
lol...yeah...the woman on the article looks like she is or could have been a bully. Possibly without even realizing it, herself. I can tell by her face, and the particular expression she has. She doesn't have autism or asperger's for god sakes, or even look like she would be anywhere on the spectrum!
...what a joke article.
If this was a troll post, that was good bait. 11/10 for LOL factor!
Correct, she's not on the spectrum. She's a licensed ABA Bully.
edited to add: I also just got Chris Cuomo(CNN news anchor) to retweet the article link to his 1.13 million followers. I hope this helps create a $h!tstorm.
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~ ( Living in Parentheses ) - female aspie, diagnosed at 42 ~
BAP: 132 aloof, 121 rigid, 84 pragmatic // Cambridge Face Memory Test: 62% // AQ: 39
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“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
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