Have YOU been accused of microaggressions??

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I usually get accused of emotionally manipulating people like a narcissist, which not only upsets me but also frightens me.
Usually if a narcissist is emotionally manipulating people to get them to feel sorry for them or whatever by expressing emotions involving self-pity, the narcissist isn't actually feeling those emotions, they are usually laughing inwardly and enjoying the drama. With me it's not like that. I hate drama, I hate conflict and I hate hostility, oh and most of all I hate offending people, and I do literally feel as angry or upset inside as I show on the outside.
But most people (even Aspies) are like "oh she's just attention seeking, ignore her or better yet throw criticism at her because what she's doing is wrong and bad". But really I'm just reaching out, drowning in my own emotions and having a meltdown or (in my case) a panic attack. It's my way of saying "this is how I'm feeling", not "I am a spoilt brat who just wants attention, gimme gimme gimme!"

But people can't understand that. So I suppose from now on I have to suffer in silence.

For some reason everyone assumes narcissists and people with borderline are always being manipulative because they can, instead of considering that rejection tends to set those people off into severe dysphoria and that a lot of the manipulative behaviours are defensive responses to avoid being in that state.

I'm not accusing you of either, especially because those assumptions seem to be quite common on here and this is just a good chance to bring this up.

Think of how often autistic meltdowns are treated as 'tantrums' by people who don't understand. It's not the only condition that impacts emotional restraint.

People like to dismiss the feelings of people they don't empathize with, and people who display certain patterns can be very hard to empathize with. That doesn't mean that there aren't intense, authentic and deeply painful emotions motivating the behaviours though.

When someone has faced social rejection for an extended period it makes sense that experience might traumatize them on some level. Wounded people lash out to protect wounds, sometimes even when it's not appropriate. From their own perspective it's defensive.

I could have written this myself.

So many of you in this forum seem like the nicest people. I don’t see how anyone can not love to have you as friends.

Sorry for your troubles out there (and me too )

I think that I explained it well enough already. Microagression is a made up word that didn't exist before. It was created by intersectionality advocates. I do not agree with that ideology. Why should I use their ideological terminology?

Incorrect, and not historically possible.

The term "microaggression" was coined back in 1970, by a psychiatrist.

The term "intersectionality" was not coined until 1989 -- by Kimberlé Crenshaw, a law professor whose main concerns were not with "microaggressions" but with the inadequacies of civil rights laws, and with the ways laws get unfairly applied to Black women somewhat differently from the ways that laws get unfairly applied to Black men.

Ok, thank you for clarifying. Yet it is a term used by social justice advocates whithin a social justice political context and it was not in common use by the general population.

I think that too. I think people seem nice on this forum. I think I'm a nice person.

But the sheer number of times I've been dismissed, dumped, snapped at, manipulated...It makes me think I'm not nice. It messes with my head.

I know I'm tactless and blunt in speaking to people. But I'm not a terrorist or murderer or similar. So maybe people should just give me a break and say, 'oh well, Kitlily's a bit tactless and blunt but she's not a bad person.'

There's too much emphasis on being perfect these days.

It's a bit like when I was 10 these kids drew on the new erasers, just to get the teacher to think it was me, and they told the teacher "look what Joe90 did!" and the teacher told me off. I hadn't even done anything! But the more upset I got the more the teacher thought I was trying to emotionally manipulate, and the kids who really done it were laughing and enjoying the fact that the teacher didn't believe me.

I still feel angry about that to this day. The teacher never did believe me, because I suppose a person drawing on an eraser is easy to believe, as anyone could do it. It was the kids that done it who were the ones that were emotionally manipulating.

I just got mad at the fact that I was being told off for something I hadn't done, for their amusement.

That's awful and evil what these kids did. It brings deep anger in me, too.
Harming another for fun is as evil as it can be.

I had similar things happen to me when I was a kid. I was bullied, prodded, punched, the whole nine yards. I'm lucky I was never beaten up severely.

I know it's sometimes hard not to reflect upon what happened when you were growing up. But it's better if you don't feel that adults will do the same things to you as 10-year-old children would.

I feel, these days, that people reflect upon their negative childhood experiences too much, and allow these experiences to affect how they go about life as adults.

I'm not saying to be in "denial." All I'm saying is that it's usually better if one could reflect on what's going on in the present, rather than in the past.

Well it was just annoying more than anything else, as they were just kids being kids. The worst happened when I was a teenager, when I was socially rejected in very subtle ways, and kids I didn't know would humiliate me on my way home from school, because I didn't usually have any friends to walk home with, so it made me an easy target.

I didn't have any friends, whatsoever, in my first three years of high school.

I reacted to this by trying to sing opera in the subways. Also by banging on the subway seats with a couple of nickels. I was once taken off a train by cops, put in a room, and questioned. Fortunately, I gave the "right answers," and they let me go.

Personally, that's why I try to use it in normal and relatable contexts, not just specific political discussions.

Language tends to evolve as a result of words starting as brand-new, obscure coinings but gradually becoming more widespread until they're no longer jargon or slang.

I think the concern isn't so much that they'll still act like 10 year olds, so much as that they'll still bully but with decades more experience at being subtle about it.

Maybe, but currently they are political and contested.

I wish I didn't ruminate about past events as much, but it's difficult for aspires, since we apparently have excellent long term memory and we are able to replay past events in detail.