Aspies can't lie

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There are very good reasons to lie. When your values conflict with the social norms what are you supposed to do? Giving the appearance of being normal requires being true to yourself and also respecting the rules. The reason aspies have poor social skills is because we reject the rules. It's not that we have a problem conforming per se, but we have a problem conforming to rules we think are idiotic.

Now if you are a habitual liar and also very good at it, you may have to entertain all the possible ramifications of your lies and plan out in advance what you are going to say. Like a chess game it helps to be able to think a couple moves ahead. Aspies usually aren't motivated to clutter their lives with such trash. Even one lie would create an intolerable conundrum.

The conundrum resolves itself by aspies being blunt to the point of rudeness, telling the truth even when they know it will cause themselves or someone else to suffer unfairly, and then enduring the pain and ostracism that results from these actions. But at least our lives haven't spun out of control (due to the lie) even more than they already have.

My particular dilema is that I demand justice or at least the appearance of justice in my life. I'm very outspoken and often regret later what I've said. I've learned the hard way that it's usually better to keep my mouth shut and walk away from a situation in which I would be tempted to lie or say something that later I will regret.

When you're a kid and at their mercy, you do whatever you need to do to survive.
When you're dealing with adults (job situation, whatever) it's better.

My rule is pretty simple and has been working for about thirty years.
Either you're lying because you're doing something wrong, and you need to knock it off,
or you're lying because you're dealing with a lunatic, and you need to knock it off.
Anyone who forces me to lie is not worth my time. Just walk away.
For everything else, you can evade.

I think even the Aspie females are devils in disguise, and more dangerous than the NT variants. You still should learn the art of lying and deceit otherwise you are lamb to the slaughter.

Emphatically disagree with aspie female devil thing
Emphatically agree with the LAMB TO SLAUGHTER thing

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize most people lie for very good reasons which kinda supercede the lie itself. The bottom line is -- do you create martyrs of yourself- family- frineds....do you violate the principles you hold dear....just to tell the truth or keep quiet when your conscience is screaming at you to speak up...or lie?

You have to live with the consequences no matter what you do. Unless you can do the hermit thing par excellence...you'll find yourself in plenty of situations where you're caught between a rock and a hard place. It's not easy to avoid lying; it's also not easy to lie. That's why people get mad at the "system" which is many times flawed and corrupt; why they fight passionately or find it impossible to conform; why they become activists to change a system of rules they can't live with; why they find themselves backed into a corner with compromised values and inevitable meltdown.

Lying complicates one's life in unimaginable ways and mostly makes it worse. Sometimes one has to lie bc the other options are unacceptable. Usually one's actions are determiined by an assessment of --- what can I do to cause the least discomfort to myself and those I care about.

I can lie, but not to my parents face, other than that, yea.
I can't control what they see in my eyes, but I can control what I say.

It kind of depends on the situation, but its not that terribly difficult.....I have no issue keeping things to myself if need be for instance I have family members that know I use cannabis and have done many other things....and then I have family members like my mom who I have not talked to about this because its better if she does not know(at least at this point.) Also, I have lied directly in some situations.

I'm usually too paranoid to lie. I notice a lot of people lie in situations where it could be easy to figure out they were likely lying. I really only lie if I absulutely must and I always make sure there isn't enough information or reason to suspect that I could be lying. I don't take risks with BS that could come back and bite me.

I am a hopeless liar if im out on the spot. but if i have time to think about it and what im going say and stuff
i can lie very well.

I have no problem with lying when it comes to the sphere of my skills in this field and morality but I do have a problem with doing this for I feel this irresistible compulsion to always tell the truth. And I am paranoid about other people finding out I was a liar.

those who think the World is Disneyland and there are golden rules, there aren't. Liars win. All relationships are based upon lies, because everything is about impression. The worst thing a male like myself does is tell the truth to a woman. Women want to be wined and dined, and they hate the truth. They will say at most "Thank you for being honest" and never have anything to do with you ever again. I know people will disagree with me, and say this is sour grapes, but it is the truth of my existence. The only hope I have is if I lie and hide my autism. Otherwise, I will be misunderstood. Now people will say lying is a sin, but I will smile smugly when I have conned a woman into loving me, only to find out that I am nobody, nothing, then not even have the chance for that woman to see the real me, judge me fairly, and give me half a chance.

Good luck with that. Lying about who you are is one of those unsustainable forms of dishonesty that will come back and bite you sooner or later.

I only "lie" a little bit if you can even call it lies. 99% of the time I am truthful but the lies that I do is joking around a lot but people usually are able to tell when I am doing that. Sometimes I exaggerate like saying my art is worth $100 million. I know its not. I say it while joking around. people know its not true and I don't believe my art is worth anything. My art is worthless is more like it. I only believe it when I am having a manic episode anyways. As people say, "everybody lies." Aspies and autistics just don't lie very much at all but I bet their percentage is just like mine, 99% truthful.

I dislike lying although to say I can't do it would be disingenious. In fact I can't BS, and I hate these type of lies people tell to one another and accept but don't believe. The main area where I have lied is when I was married telling my husband that I loved him. Well I did as a friend, but I knew this wasn't how he meant it and although I hardly ever said it (only when he really forced me to and then awkwardly) I still felt bad about it. Maybe it was obvious that it was a lie but he wanted to believe it.

What I find quite funny is that I can often mislead people - almost always unintentionally as I don't like doing things that shame or hurt people. The reason I find it funny is that there is an Aspie I know who is a lovely person but a bit of a sucker for a practical joke - people will tell him ridiculous things and he believes it, even after all this time. I on the other hand have always had a sceptical nature and in fact have ended up so paranoid (in a rational way) that I can often see through scams that others fall through, I see people trying to take advantage of me in everything and as a result have generally succeeded in not being taken advantage of. Sometimes however, I tell a joke and everyone (all the NTs) believe me even though I am joking and intending what I say to be read as a joke. Clearly it doesn't come out right but it is quite funny as I get all these people believing me, who normally would be winding up the Aspie that I know who is susceptible to this. It is a bit like turning the tables - they cannot understand me any more than the other Aspie can understand them. Probably the lack of inflection in my voice or expression on my face. My deficits are in communicating not in receiving (although often NTs don't realise this and patronise me). However, it doesn't have quite the same effect as normally I am winding up a whole group of people rather than one person (which is cruel anyway because of the isolation that makes you feel) so they don't feel what they are doing to the other Aspie themselves.

It is a judgement call. I don't believe in that thing "Well, we are completely open and upfront about everything". Yeah, on which Planet? There is a fine line between being an outright immoral, dishonest man and blabbing the store away. I am definitely the latter. So, as I said in that discussion about "Socially appropriate behavior" - slow down. We aspies are not Robin Williams, or whomever. We need to say very little, and let the other person lead first.

I can't lie or deceive as fluently as NTs although I can lie by "rounding up" things a little when I have to. I'm more concerned about the other type of lying, when the truth is held back for a reason. This later is more common among people, and this what I usually don't follow.

I bet I can fool a lie detector. I have always wanted to try. There is no doubt that Im an excellent liar and an excellent lie detector.