putting up defenses

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Well have just inished y fist ear of University and Failed kinda and I have met 3 reliable friends but them they had their friends to and when hey were round I would deny who I am and put up an act. I have realised since being at home fora month that I am beating myself up for actin wo I am not because I am nervous and altered myself to adapt, before I was tn a private college and the same happened after my first year and I reverted to my aspergic state from what I had been like in high school and at home. I lost a lt of friends becausethey could not accept me ll except 1is an NT.

Do you think I should destroy that act of nervousness and just say to them flat out and say this is wh I am, I think my aspie friend will be OK I have an apology to say because I get tectile when hyper depressed and nevous. nnd as an aspie I know touchig even when sarcastic is realy irritating. I don't personally care if I lose the NT friends but if I los my aspie friend I would actually be quite hurt.

At first I thought I could run from aspergers and ignore it ut after I socialise and drink I feelimmoral and wrong because really I am atimid antiocial person. Do you think I should lose my act and come clean to them ad say take me as I am or if no bugge off. Even if I pretend my aspie traits shw, no eye contact, flapping blunt honesty an wrong things, actions spoken that I did not realis until later were really wrong.It makes me depressed to think I denied myself of this and tried to be normal but my autism caught up with me

has any aspie done this and realised it was wrong and regretted it just to try and get friends and realie that it was too hard to do

thanks if you reply

pologies to admin for accidently triple topiccing I had mega lag and clicked furiously in frustration

Personas can be useful tools for short term interactions, but you're right, Steve, they suck for building real relationships for an obvious reason -- they aren't real. They're a role that we play in certain situations. I've largely tried to stop using them, but it's hard to get through some situations without relying on them and I've left some very confused people who were used to dealing with a persona in my wake.

Regards,

Patricia

For me not attempting any persona equates to becoming a timid, mute, shy, recluse where my whole life centers around whatever my mind is currently obsessing over. I get so self-conscious that it's like there's this invisible force holding me back and inhibiting me from opening my mouth. Most of the time when I do attempt to talk to people I feel like everything I say is forced, stilted, and flat. I just don't get people enough to ever feel real. In college I acted like I fit in and hid my weird side. I was happier then than I am now.

thanks guys I know what to do now anyways hehe