My son is in his early 20's. There are some things he's way behind on compared to NTs but some things he's way ahead on. I see my role, as his mom, is to keep him from getting discouraged, reminding him that meltdowns happen and they just give him more practice on what to do when he has one. I remind him of how far he's come and not to push harder than his temperament can handle. I am an invisible safety net, too, when I see he's moving ahead and too distracted to see that he messed up somewhere else.
He's steadily progressing. I don't think he's ever be completely independent but he'll know enough to get help before he gets in over his head with the problems that come up in life.
Since I'm on the spectrum, too and the only diagnosis I had for myself before they widened the ADS scope, was Misfit Toy, I learn a lot about myself and am doing much better with my own life as I learn from helping him.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.