Seminary

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I am a Catholic seminarian (someone preparing to be a priest) and while I enjoy it, I am not sure how much longer it will last in view of some of the problems that I have related to AS. I will give a couple of examples of some of my challenges in the hope that people will be able to suggest ways to remedy them. I especially invite Catholic clergy and seminarians to provide feedback.

For example, often times people will like me and we will get along well but it will take more time than an for a NT for people to become comfortable with me and some of my eccentricies. When I joined last year, for about a month or so the administration was concerned that I wasn't doing well socially (some of the other seminarians told them I seemed cold and distant even though I seem friendly). That problem was solved through time, and the seminary administration even complimented me on my growth in that area. The problem is i'm going to a different semianry next year and fear that the same thing will happen this time too. It's usually that way when I'm in a new enviornment. I'd rather not have the new seminary administration down my back about that.

The other big problem is misinterpretation of my actions. There were multiple occasions last year in which people wondered why I did something and drew conclusions about my intentions that were false. For example, sometimes I can't concentrate enough to do homework or sometimes I just forget, and the seminary administrators thought that I didn't do it b/c I thought I could do whatever I want. I'd love to do it, but just can't focus sometimes. Another example is a false reading of my facial expressions or if my chaplain would say something either good or bad he would wonder what I was thinking after I said okay but I wasn't thinking about anything, just accepted what he said and tried to move on.

Thanks guys.

I am probably the last person that should say this but...

Morefaith in God and less in psychiatry(which is also more of a faith than a science)... remmember Autism is condition, not a disease. In other words it's not concrete, it's not mathematical.

just be urself and forget that u ever heard the word Autism... maybe one day you will provide the same advice ur self..

As a former Catholic, I understand the concept of vocations.

I suggest that perhaps a "priest" is the wrong vocation for you with AS being a factor. Priests need to deal with people on a regular basis. If you wish to live a consecrated life to God, perhaps you should be a "brother." You'd be part of a religious order and likely assigned to tasks that utilize your gifts more effectively and are more fulfilling for you personally.

However, the proper person you should talk to someone at your seminary who deals with issues such as religious vocation in the Church. I'm sure they would agree that if your having AS would be a hindrance in one area, perhaps another would be more fruitful for both you and the Church.

Good luck.

I'm not sure how old you are, I've had a quick look through some of your previous posts, and I notice you have posted in the adolescents' forum, so I'm assuming you are in your late teens. Please correct me if I am wrong.

I am a 41 year old Protestant woman who is training for ministry. So far my training has involved two part-time 6 month church placements and one 10 week summer full-time placement. These placements were while I was a university studying for my Bachelor of Divinity degree. I then took a year out and have been working part-time for the past 8 months as a pastoral locum and preaching 2 Sundays a month.

As I understand it, a seminary provides a fairly enclosed and intense environment, but as a priest you will be out in the world, working largely on your own and having to rely on your own personal resources and faith. You will meet all sorts of different people who may say things that will offend you - some will do so deliberately.

From what you say in this, and other threads, I do wonder how much you are aware of the reality of being a parish priest, and whether your training to date has provided you with any opportunities to experience it. Talking to a priest about what he does is not the same as actually doing it.

Ministry and priesthood are intensely involved with people and relationships. I am not Aspie, my son is and I have a few traits. I do find making pastoral visits quite difficult although I'm finding it easier as time goes on.

You do need to have a thick skin, as people seem to feel little compunction about saying what they think about you, your appearance, facial expressions, tone of voice etc. They will comment on these things to your face as they leave a service of worship.

You can be pounded by the emotions of other people and that is extraordinarily draining. For three months from December on I conducted an average of 3 funerals a week, and I only work 2 days a week. On one particular day I conducted 2 funeral services, then did home visits to 4 different bereaved families to discuss arrangements for forthcoming funerals. I got to the stage that I wasn't sure which family was which and part way through a service would panic over whether I had got the deceased name right or not.

You do have to be extremely organised. You cannot miss a funeral, or any other type of service. You have to be able to manage your own time effectively, make changes if necessary when the unexpected happens -as it does regularly.

You have to be able to focus. You have to be able to put other matters out of your mind and concentrate on the matter at hand. If you can't do that, then things will fall apart very quickly.

To be perfectly honest, I do think that you should speak seriously to someone you trust about the reality of your vocation. If you are not a good fit for the priesthood then you should think about how else you can serve God. Being a parish priest is not only the only way open to you.

I hope this is helpful. If you want to discuss this more, then please do pm me.

Wow man. Congrats on trying. You've made it pretty far. Moreso, than I have. Um, do you have an assignment over the summer? Maybe you could use your time to try to deal with these issues. I'm not exactly sure how, but working on in during the break would be a great idea.

Marcia,

You are right. It is an enclosed and intense enviornment. I have found, however, that while I have aspergers, it is mild compared to others. I don't so much have a problem doing ministry assignments outside of the seminary as I am able to empathize with others and I can socialize with people and develop friendships most of the time. In this particular situation, however, I am in a communal enviornment where every one is watching everything that I do. And I have to interact with my brother sems 24/7. Like I said, eventually people got used to me and I was able to become close to several people and got along with those who I wasn't close to but still were apart of the seminary community. I understand the challenges, so now I am looking for ways to make it work.

Ok, I get it now - it's the seminary environment which you are finding difficult. That's not so bad, because that's short to medium term, but that's where you are right now.

My only experience of such an environment is when my own denomination get all the candidates for ordained ministry together for residential conferences which last for about 5 days. I find them good, challenging, very intense and quite exhausting. Even though the administration people aren't formally assessing us during the conference I am always aware that we are being watched and how we interact and so on will inevitably form part of the assessment and review process.

I've been thinking about the two problems you outlined in your original post. Again, I'm not sure how your system works, so you'll have to bear with me.

Will information about you transfer from your current seminary to the new one? I ask that because you say that you were complimented on your growth in developing socially and I wondered whether you will be able to build on that good report or whether you will be starting again completely.

Aside from the matter of transfer of information - what you do have now is a year's experience of seminary life and an awareness of the problems you have faced, overcome and still have. That is extremely valuable and you shouldn't underestimate how much this information and self-knowledge can help you in the future.

You may find it helpful to reflect on the first month or two at your current seminary and think about what was positive and should be retained and developed, and what you did that with the hindsight you now have seems less positive, and which you would try to do differently. Reflect and contemplate, then write down what you would do again, and what you wouldn't do again. You are moving forward to the next step in your journey so you don't have to go backwards because you are going somewhere new. The place and the people will be different, but you are still you and you take your experiences and knowledge with you.
Learn from your mistakes and take confidence from your successes.

Think as well about how you articulate all of this to other people. If you feel that you need to take a month or so to settle in and become familiar with those around you then think of how you can explain that to others in a way which is good natured and easily understood.

This leads on to the second problem you described, that of being misinterpreted or misunderstood.

Think about what led to those misunderstandings and reflect on the feedback you have received from your chaplain and others. Think about how you can anticipate such misunderstandings in the future and how they can be avoided. In such an environment it isn't enough that you understand why you do what you do - you have to be able to tell others.

If you can't address your problems with focus on your own, then you should speak to someone about that with a view to finding a solution that will work for you.

In terms of facial expressions - you are aware that people don't always interpret them correctly, so you could verbalise your feelings or thoughts instead. If you tell people, then they are less likely to misinterpret you.

When you meet with your chaplain, try to expand a little. Saying "okay" doesn't give him a lot to work with. You don't need to say much, just a sentence or two to let him know that you have understood what he says, that you can relate to it, and agree with him (or not). It seems that he is trying to have more of a two-way communication with you, whereas you are treating it as one-way communication - from him to you. He wants you to communicate back to him. You say that you say okay, and try to move on. Try not to be in such a hurry to move on, but instead to spend a little time in that place with him.

Hopes this makes sense, and helps a little.