When others insinuate you're lying, do you feel dishonest?

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ToughDiamond
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14 Jun 2009, 6:12 pm

Say you're telling somebody something, and they don't seem to believe you, do you become overwhelmed with a powerful belief that you're lying even though you're actually telling the truth?

Just that a few of us on another thread realised this happens to us, and we're wondering whether it's an Aspie thing or something else. It seems to sometimes thwart our attempts to convince skeptical people of the truth by altering our style of delivery into something that could be mistaken for an actual liar.



mechanicalgirl39
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14 Jun 2009, 6:14 pm

No, I just feel horribly angry and wounded.

I'm far too sensitive, I know.


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14 Jun 2009, 6:21 pm

Yes. I've previousy felt completey untrostworthy but now realise it's due to lack of eye contact and misinterpreting body language mainly. It really doesn't matter what you're saying if you get those wrong people will just not be able to believe you unless of course they know about your AS but even then they'd have to work to overcome those natural reactions to distrust people who don't look in their eyes.

Oh yes the question, of course I ended up doubting everything I said and thought which I think is a natural reaction to the one described above.



Maggiedoll
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14 Jun 2009, 6:31 pm

I end up getting treated as though I lied (ie, punished, denied medication I really seriously need, thrown into treatment that's incredibly inappropriate and harmful) based on someone else's perception. And once one person decided that you've lied, everyone else will believe them.. because, of course, who would believe a liar? When everyone around you acts as though you're bad, the anger would be too overwhelming to keep believing in yourself. It is for me, anyways. And then it comes out like some kind of conspiracy theory. It happened to me with several psychiatrists recently. I'm quite sure I'd be totally off my meds and probably dead if my fiance hadn't been there with me.. I don't know how the hell he deals with me considering how much of a mess I've been. But at least he can reassure me of what actually did happen. I won't let him do anything about what happened, though, because I'm afraid I'll end up facing more people who won't believe me.



Postperson
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14 Jun 2009, 7:04 pm

Accusations can actually be confessions, so sometimes you can interpret their accusations (of being a liar) as an admission on their part.



Last edited by Postperson on 14 Jun 2009, 7:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

SteveeVader
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14 Jun 2009, 7:07 pm

I feel angry and offended



Tahitiii
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14 Jun 2009, 7:16 pm

No.

I feel angry and a lot of other things. I might give up because I don't know what else to do.
For a long time I didn't even understand that they were accusing me of lying. And there have been times when acknowledging the veiled accusation was just too degrading. There's also times when they hear but don't care. I don't even know how to put that in words.



Aimless
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14 Jun 2009, 8:24 pm

yes and it's an odd feeling.



claire-333
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14 Jun 2009, 8:40 pm

I feel guilty about most everything. *shrugs*



Dragonfly_Dreams
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14 Jun 2009, 8:44 pm

YES! I feel guilty even when I am 100% telling the truth. I feel disingenuous and fake.



pensieve
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14 Jun 2009, 8:52 pm

No, I usually feel like punching them and telling them I know when I'm telling the truth.

I don't actually punch them, just get angry enough to.


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mikebw
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14 Jun 2009, 9:51 pm

Count me in with the angry/insulted crowd.


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bhetti
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14 Jun 2009, 10:16 pm

yes, but I think that I have a lot of programming from my childhood, from those times when I'd try to explain what was happening or what I was thinking or feeling and my mother would say "no" then proceed to tell me what was happening/how I was thinking/feeling. it was all very confusing and I although I tried to explain, I was told I was wrong so often that I felt like a liar pretty much all the time and to this day I'm usually surprised when someone believes me.



hartzofspace
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14 Jun 2009, 11:32 pm

YES! And it is usually followed by anger mixed with guilt, and a desire to retaliate. Which then turns into depression. One of the reasons I try not to ever misrepresent or lie about stuff, is that it is extremely satisfying to prove that person wrong, if I can.

I hate how easy it is for someone to make me feel guilty. As the poster above said, my mother often distorted my reality, too. :x


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marshall
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15 Jun 2009, 1:04 am

My reaction is usually to say "whatever, believe what you want :roll:". It's fruitless arguing with someone who either twists my words or falsely accuses me of being disingenuous without presenting any evidence.



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15 Jun 2009, 1:30 am

No. I'm stable and pretty unaffected by the believes of others because of my autism. I'm not influences by others because they do not pertain my world as far as never have.

I get extremely angry when others indicate that I am lying because it's hard to take that there are others who think differently from me and think I'm lying when I clearly tell the truth. Everything must be correct and true. Which is an autism-thing again.


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