Different Kinds Of Meltdowns

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Does anyone else experience different meltdowns?

I tend to have three.

The first is a psychotic break, where something bad happens and my brain latches onto a irrational idea, and I get stuck there. Usually accompanied by a panic attack, which feels like not being able to breathe, and being vacuum-sealed in a tube.

Second is a quiet meltdown, where I just sort of rapidly loose control over my thoughts and all of the sudden I am anxious, depressive, and suicidal, making everything into a catastrophe and stuck there.

And then there is the purely autistic type, which usually involves being completely overwhelmed and loosing a sense of who I am, being surrounded by problems that are too big for me and sensory input that makes no sense. I cry, I scream, and I usually loose verbal ability and the ability to problem solve. This tends to happen when I am overwhelmed, by information or choices or pure sensory overload.

Also during all three my thoughts either speed up too fast to read or they fragment and I can't organize them into anything. Fragmenting happens when I am absolutely DONE. And it's scary as s**t.

That's why I sometimes get defensive when people tell me I'm "normal". because, I'm sorry, but THAT is NOT normal. Normal people don't start crying because they got taco juice on their hands or want to kill themselves because the orange juice is pulpy.

And usually people can only tell, except for the last one, because I get super bitchy. Because one of the first things to go is my ability to show other people what's going on.

What's your experience with this?

I tend to get the depressed meltdowns you describe fairly often. The other types, not so much. I also get the enraged meltdown where my rage has been set off and is continually aggravated to the point where I can't reign it in; it takes quite a bit for me to fully lose control. Then I just lose control of myself and do things I'll regret later. I tend to partially shut down instead of doing normal meltdowns, or they're at least quiet.

Thank you for articulating your experiences so well. Kudos to you that people only see your turmoil as increased irritability. I know I'm asking a question instead of answering, but I'm an NT teacher who's preparing for an incoming Aspie student in the fall. What is the best way to support someone who is going through the meltdowns you describe?

Hope this isn't too long for you, but it's all true.
I cannot remember the last time that I have had a meltdown at home. It's completely a different story when I'm at my boarding school.
The last year and a half, I've constantly been having meltdowns. Recently, it's only been the quiet meltdowns, with the additions of self-harm, but looking back a year, I can remember having the purely autistic type.

<RANT>
Before the full rant begins, i would like to say that i'm, not a violent person. It's desperation that makes me violent. When you are foced away from hope by people who tell you that they're doing what's best for you...

It's quite strange, at my boarding school they call the autistic type of meltdown an "Incident". I actually laugh at the way they thought a meltdown happened "incidentally". A meltdown isn't just some random occurrence, there's usually some factors leading up to it. What's even wierder, they would punish you for having a meltdown. The "care services manager" (fancy name for a guy who likes taking the p...), would run down the stairs, and shout stuff like "Get a F---ing grip, or we will remove your priviledges". Then they'd throw me into a blank room, with nothing in it, and expect me to calm down on my own. Of course, they were going in completely the wrong direction, because i HATE being locked in a room, especially when i just want to get away from them.
They would then come into the room, and take me back to my bedroom, and i'd have found that they've took everything, except my bed. They usually take away my weighted blanket, confiscate my radio/cd's/mp3 player and lock me inside my bedroom. I was such a mess by then that I would be lying on my bedroom floor screaming my face off, trying to work out what i had (or hadn't!) done. I wish that I had screamed something like "But i'm not going to kill you! i just want to be outside alone!"
Basically, they would escalate the situation, and then remove all means of dealing with it.
I've never understood their... "methods", it's just like they're asking for work, rather than deal with the daily paperwork, but most of the staff would happily do anything other than the paperwork.

One day it didn't go how it usually went - I was in my room, after the usual process of my school "Dealing with an incident", and one of the really nice members of staff came in. This was one of the days when most of the other senior members of staff were pulling a sickie, so she came in, and put everything back for some reason. I remember half sitting, half kneeling on a chair, and she just walked over to me. I was really confused, and just wanted to be alone, so i started to throw my colection of red and orange stones at her, but she carried on walking over to me. She then took the big stone that i was about to throw out of my hand, told me (jokingly) to "take a chill pill" and put my weighted blanket on top of me. I was just about able to talk after two hours, but she stayed there the whole time, just incase i wanted to talk (if only she knew how it felt to not be able to communicate.) We then went for a two hour walk in the woods, and by then i was calm again.

Now, i've started to learn what triggers my meltdowns, and i can usually take myself away to calm down.
</RANT>
Me and my parents, and grandparents, have all agreed that my school are not doing the right things, so at the moment, i'm at home. Yay!

deleted.

I had crying, screaming fits as a kid, very angry.

Sometimes as an adult I get overwhelmed, my mind turns into slush. I literally get confused and can't think straight and I don't feel well.

worst one for me is when you feel so useless and impotent you wqnna scream but can't even do that so end up beating yourself up (literally) still feeling sick and dizzy from one of those earlier today.