"Shhhhhhhhh!! !! !! !! !! !! !! You're too loud!! !! !! !!"

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I used to hear this all the time, and still do from my dad; and am now beginning to wonder if it's complete bullsh*t, and just a way to get people to stop my momentum when I start making a good point, cause they really just don't want to hear me talk.

I know most of us talk "too loud or too soft", so has anyone else had to deal with this?

I mean, I know everyone says "you can state your case, but lower your voice"; yeah, that doesn't happen. It's called building momentum. That's why I don't really think it's that we're too loud for them, it's just that they want us to shut up.

Yes. I used to get that all the time, and still do occasionally. I don't even realize I'm being loud.

I know I can get WAY loud... with or without reason.

I sometimes have trouble modulating my voice, especially if I'm very interested in a subject, but sometimes just whenever. Other times I'll be told to speak up because I'm speaking too softly, but it will sound normal to me. Sometimes I'll start speaking very quickly, too, and whoever is listening will have to ask me to slow down. I don't think this is just our issue, though. My daughter sometimes doesn't realize how loud she's being, either, and she's very much NT. Sometimes I swear I can hear her voice echo during normal conversation. Perhaps it's just more pronounced?

Regards,

Patricia

I didn't miss your point. I just don't necessarilly agree with it. I am loud and I know it. Try recording a conversation between you an NT, you may notice a difference.

I still get it sometimes, but more often I get "Slow down, you're talking too fast."

Yes, I still get this at times. Even though I am now aware of the problem, I still do it, and I did it repeatedly as recently as three months ago. It's mostly an issue if I am concentrating on saying something difficult or involved or if there's a lot of background noise. I have trouble understanding people and evaluating my own sound level if there are a lot of talking people around.

Sometimes people really don't want to hear what you say, especially if you make them think too hard, and, combined with inappropriate voice level, tone, nuance, makes for a bad impression. I really should restrict science discussions to monologues where the monologue is expected, in 25 minute talks given to an audience that is there specifically to hear it, and who are primed to actually do something useful with what I might have to say.

personally, when someone starts talking very loudly it seems aggressive to me and I get anxious and can't concentrate on what they are saying. I think building momentum is fine for public speaking but if you're just in the living room it comes off as too too much.

There's another viewpoint. Quite often our parents and those who love us know us far better than we realise. It could well be that there's nothing wrong with the volume you're at when they interject and tell you to shhh, it's quite likely that they know you well enough to know that "now" is the time to jump in and calm you down, because they know your momentum isn't going to slow, and that you're going to get yourself overstimulated unless they calm you down now. In 10 minutes time, it's not prevention, it's clean up.

We do have to learn to trust that those around us who love us can sometimes see things we miss, and we have to learn to listen and not see everything as "putting us down".

Occasionally I get this. If I get excited about something and am actually in a good mood..my voice can get pretty loud..It happens when I am in "playful" mode...

I have a friend with NPD...and he has this really drony nasally voice that really really carries...I can hear him waay across the building...and during quiet shows I have to tell him to turn it down...and at night I have to tell him to please keep it down because people are trying to sleep...that is how loud he is....He loves to talk loudly and repeat the same things over and over again....because he loves to hear himself speak...
The guy gots issues...he is like the evil doppleganger of the aspie...

I get this often, and it irritates the hell out of me, because there are few things in this world I find more annoying than being shushed (or god forbid, being told to shut up).

Oddly enough, I am either being told to be quiet, or that I'm TOO quiet, depending on the situation. I can't win.

Sensory integration error.

Lots of LD/MR/physically impaired people have that too. Often even, pretty well-known in these areas.

Your hearing may actually be ultra sensitive. Yet, to yourself you sound normal when you actually are half-screaming all the time because you don#t hear yourself right.

This is pretty true of me. I am ridiculously sound sensitive, to the point where it has been nearly a disability, but this doesn't translate to my own voice. I've learnt tricks over the years to control certain things about my speech, mostly through speech training, but I still have no idea what I actually sound like.

Oddly enough, even though I don't recognise my own voice in recordings, the sound of it makes me cringe. Not cos I'm too loud, either....just because....

When I try to intonate it basically ends up with me shouting and then speaking so quietly people can't hear.