Insensitive NTs and nice NTs.

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I didn't know where to put this so I thought I'd just make a new thread for it. Following my account of this event I'm sure you'll understand what my header is about.

My twin brother (NT) and I were at a mutual friend's 21st birthday party a few weeks ago where we also encountered many people from our old high school. Some were married some had children and everyone had changed somewhat including myself. One girl from highschool had me by the arm introducing me to all these other people I knew from high school but never talked to; an interesting experience if nothing else but they were nice enough to me to lift my general opinion of humanity. But there was one person who noticeably hadn't changed, he was just as loud and obnoxious as ever and I noticed heads turn and eyes lift skyward when he continuously interrupted the celebratory speeches. I'd known this chap (let's call him BV) since primary school and he had ties to the church youth group I attended as a teenager where he was considered the ideal christian role model (*snort*). He was now working as a teacher's aide for special needs kids and one of them was an autistic boy.

I was at my brother's side, where it was safe, for most of the evening but we parted ways and joined different circles torwards the end of the party and he approached the circle centered around the loud utterings of BV. BV was, at that moment mocking the autistic boy who was in his care, he stimmed, he rocked, he spoke funny and everyone thought it was hilarious except my brother who quietly informed him that he knew someone who was autistic and didn't think it was funny at all. When I heard about it (indirectly) I was impressed but somewhat shocked as I didn't know my brother looked out for me that much, I don't speak to him much as he mumbles something awful and I can't understand him but that event certainly made me appreciate him. I'm glad I have some understanding NTs in my life .

I've seen a lot negativity towards NTs in places (not particularly here) and thought I'd give a positive example. Anyone else got any?

Oooh is that the Elfie one??? OOoh yes it is ^_^

Well that's nice of you to state that example. Nice positivity. Let's home there's some dramatic irony to this and BV is one day rescued from the burning wreck of his automobile by a group of autistic travelers passing by What a lousy example of a "Christian". Whatever happened to compassion?

Seems to me that lately, I've been informing each of my good friends about autism and Asperger's Sydrome. There seems to be a good pattern going on: at first, it seems to be they're ignoring what I'm saying and just want to continue the conversation in whatever direction it was going in before... so I'm like angry, and I'm like "Well don't you want to hear?" and this is really touching *sniffles* cuz they're like "Hey, no matter what you have, you're still my friend Torley!"

Awwwwwws *huggles*

why would such an incompassionate and bigotted person become a teacher's aide for special needs kids?

its interesting that youve got aspergers and your twins an NT. are you identical twins?

Hello Torley! Yep it's me .

Venom, no we're not identical. He's male and I'm female and we're as opposite as you can get.

"Why would such an incompassionate and bigotted person become a teacher's aide for special needs kids?"

*shakes head* I have no idea.

I'll say this: the world is a screwed up place full of piles of crap everywhere you go, and lots of coal that serves a purpose for burning and communicating your ideas by sketchin' it all out -- crudely. But once in awhile, you come across coal that has been under pressure, and those are the diamonds in life. They're rare, so treasure them

(it's sadly "amazing" how many religious folk I've come across that treat the mentally ill and those with conditions like AS and Down's Syndrome VERY badly behind their backs. do they do it for the money? i don't know, but at least they could be honest about that part, like Donald Trump is.)

there are good and bad aspies as there are good and bad NTs...

My friends have been great. They frequently forget that I have AS because they are so used to my little quirks and pecularities! They understand when I'm not quite with it...and so on.

I don't get an opportunity to get close to many people--NT or aspie. From what I can tell, some are indeed sensitive and others less so. About the telling thing: If I had friends to tell I had Asperger's, I guess I might tell them. For now, I must get the bulk of my socialization online.

You know what I detest? People who watch those courtroom dramas (obviously entertainment on TV) and take those cases of mental people all being homicidal maniacs, like, totally seriously. Well, it also means I welcome questions, even the ones that sound offensive but come from someone who really wants to learn, such as the infamous "Does that mean you can't control yourself when someone gives you a knife?" Obviously they get skewed images of others, like "the bad apple cop" or "the conflicted judge who's taking $$$ under the bench" and maybe even "the butler did it". Well, about that one, I kid.

I don't kid about this: I would hope that ANYONE who can't control themselves when they have a knife in their hands, no matter what they have, are promptly knocked out and have that weapon taken away from them before they do harm to anyone else -- or themselves! Good friends can help in this regard, help you see things and convince you that life really isn't that bad when you're down.

But of course, media images of autism and particularly Asperger's Syndrome mainly focus on the savant (like Rainman) or the child trapped in a world who creates up whole worlds and can never bring them into being, as odd as that sounds (St. Elmo's Fire). Maybe we'll get something out of Mozart & The Whale yet, come this winter. *high hopes* I do get queries about this from time to time, sooo...

This is a generalization, but I like to see how someone treats:

-people of other cultures
-those with "special needs"
-animals

It can tell you a lot.

I go to a Clubhouse where people have Mental Health and Emotional issues and I've met a lot of decent NTs there. That's where I learned that not all people who are NTs are Jerks.

There was also a time that my Sister defended me at a friends Engagement Party. Some guy who was in my Grade 3 class was giving me a hard time saying that he was amazed that I could remember that far back, while laughing his head off. He also gave me a hard time about my taste in Rock Music. I listen to British Rock and he was going off about how I should listen to listen to Jimi Hendrix and how I should hear him. And I'm strictly a Mod. I started telling him off and it was quickley becomming a lost cause. That's when my Sister and another guy stepped in and told that jerk that I wasn't that breed of person and that people have to live with me to know me. Hats off to Erica and Grady, the two people who saved that evening for me!

I'm getting to know an increasing amount of Aspie jerks, so it all balances out, doesn't it? *sighs*

Rock on!! Ah... the curious beauty that is guitar distortion.

All of my friends are neurotypicals; I'm the only person with Asperger's that I know, although I have friends who have children with Asperger's. My friends and I are so used to eachother that they usually don't think of me as being "learning disabled." All of my personal friends know that I have Asperger's. Well, most of my real-life personal friends anyway. Some of my internet friends don't know. A lot of my internet friends are foreigners (I'm American) so sometimes I have a difficult time trying to explain my problems. I usually just say that I have a learning problem and leave it at that. I also have a hard time trying to explain Asperger's to older people, so I usually don't mention it to them. (People who are over 60.)

However, I do like it very much when my neurotypical friends understand that I have a learning disability and do not make an issue of it and treat me as normally as possible. They're also used to my quirks and idiosyncracies as well. In fact, my friends who are NTs would probably feel that their lives are totally boring without me!! ! I also appreciate it when people do not try to understand my obsessions or my quirks...many of those things I have no explanation for and don't want to explain. However, I do havevarious friends with whom I can share my various interests.

I was watering my flowers and I heard this middle-aged man yelling and screaming Bloody Murder. I thought he was yelling at a six year old child to get back on a bike. I turned my head and I saw a severely autistic thirteen year old girl. The man was screaming at her, calling her a fool and a stupid idiot and saying that he doesn't know why he bothers to take her anywhere. He was yelling at her, to sit on the seat of her bike. I saw how the poor girl ws reacting. She was doing her Rainman Dance and mumbling to herself, because she was so frightened of her father. I started yelling at the father, telling him to stop yelling at and scaring her. That she's a person, too and that she has feelings. It turns out that they live on my street, so I;m giong to have to be extreamly careful when I see those two riding their bikes down the street again. I bet you that that man beats his daughter behind closed doors. I even went as far as to put a note in his mailbox telling him to stop treating his daughter like crap. I went back, took the note and crumpled it up. I would like to take that girl under my wing, but I don't want to have to deal with her father. It might be depressing, but it seems that the more autistic a person is, the more likely they would have to deal with the crap on the silver platter that people are so willing to serve us.

Sometimes I wonder if a "parent swap" wouldn't be such a bad idea... I see kids who would be far better off with a different set of parents, and the same goes for their friends. So... swap. Obviously legal complications come into play here, and the other side of the coin could get played -- for example, autistic parents not being able to show more empathy to their own children -- but that is still different from downright abuse.

Isn't it the truth! I just found this to be the case recently...it was a rude awakening for me to see that Aspies can be just as cruel as NT's. You'd think with all of the name-calling and verbal attacks we've had to endure through our lives, Aspies wouldn't even consider doing this to each other but alas, that is not the case. Bad habits can be learned no matter if you are Autistic or NT. - Patti -

Yup, human we are... frail (with an illusion of lasting strength, which soon passes in our elder years) yet unspeakably cruel at times... I read too much about Aspie murderers and sheer nutjobs in the news. It's downright depressing and I'd like to see more individuals accomplish positive, wonderful things and stand out -- this would show how strong Aspies can be against adversity which could otherwise pressure them into going nutzoid. No kidding.

My staff person is a very cool NT. She's probably only NT in the sense of non-autistic and not a cousin either -- neuroatypical in some other direction most likely -- but she's definitely not autistic and very cool. (And I've had enough staff to be able to distinguish the fake cool ones from the real cool ones.)