Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

Ana54
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Dec 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,061

14 Jun 2009, 12:29 pm

When people who think/say they understand AS and how it's something the sufferer can't help and yet they recommend rewards and/or punishments for AS-related behavior/thoughts/feelings.


And when they use force (and/or rewards/punishments) to try and remove things auties and Aspies do for their survival, like stimming. Without thinking that maybe they need their stimulation more than they need to appear perfectly normal to shallow people.



Greentea
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jun 2007
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,745
Location: Middle East

14 Jun 2009, 12:32 pm

That means they understand AS, but they don't accept you for who you are. And they're not realistic, thinking they can change you.


_________________
So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur.


Sora
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,906
Location: Europe

14 Jun 2009, 12:44 pm

I frankly don't understand you.

I am now wondering if considered an autistic kid/adult for example that injures themselves from head-banging?

Well, I for one know that I will definitely rather reward them for finding another stim than letting them smash their head to pieces in the kitchen or kill themselves.

Also, I don't understand why rewards piss you off. Like this?: Let's stop saying somebody 'good job, you're awesome!' because that's pissing you off? Let's stop giving sweets and chocolate for achievements?

You should note children especially need this display of love, appreciation and positive reinforcement to grow up without developing severe emotional disturbances.

And I really mean severe. Little 4yo can go totally mad, for example - pardon me - pissing on your walls, smashing your furniture, going severely eating disordered and believing themselves total failure if you failed raising them with forms of love, praise and appreciation that they comprehend for just their first 4 years of life.

I absolutely agree with another aspect of what you said though.

Who cares if somebody cannot find another way to stim and flaps, spins or whatever unless they tjemselves want to change it?

I don't generally agree stim are for survival though. Applies to some, applies to some stims, doesn't apply to all nor to all stims (seeing how some stims can harm and kill quite easily or can be redirected and stopped without dropping dead as a result).


_________________
Autism + ADHD
______
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett


SteveeVader
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jun 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 411

14 Jun 2009, 12:50 pm

true people have tried to maniopullated me once others have told me an I despise it, I et trasfixed easyand I am quite easy to manipulate probaly y most irritating aspie feature especially at the fact others try t mould you differently to, especiially when I was at specialst college I had one frien called steven and he hada brother who was aspie and he instatly slated that conception onme ans thought he could change me make me social and smile etc, he eventually went crazy and bottled me. I know but I am very fronta or example if someone is taling about me I instatly confronthem ad I did but I dn't judge the consequences and he swung a bottle round my ear. fine now butsnce then especially with my high moral standard e.g.I hate lying I see no point in it I reall take a bashing and now I really can't make friends well I have 3 now but still I distace myself or are fearful

thats what I hate abou them because they mess the head so badly it isnothing I will honestly get over soon and it happened 3 almost 4 years september.



Sora
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,906
Location: Europe

14 Jun 2009, 1:05 pm

Additionally,

I do agree with the punishment of course. I was a tad too confused to mention that before (still am), but I believe that punishment is always wrong, no matter what someone did. It doesn't teach, it doesn't help, it doesn't make right, it's useless for teaching somebody, really.


_________________
Autism + ADHD
______
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett


SteveeVader
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jun 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 411

14 Jun 2009, 1:10 pm

oh I ust get confused easily lol



protest_the_hero
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2008
Age: 185
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,011

14 Jun 2009, 5:15 pm

I flap my hands all the time and nobody ever says anything.



SteveeVader
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 12 Jun 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 411

14 Jun 2009, 7:14 pm

i move my hands all the time can't keep them still even in my sleep but one annoying thing with me is I crunch my knuckles when nervous