I frankly don't understand you.
I am now wondering if considered an autistic kid/adult for example that injures themselves from head-banging?
Well, I for one know that I will definitely rather reward them for finding another stim than letting them smash their head to pieces in the kitchen or kill themselves.
Also, I don't understand why rewards piss you off. Like this?: Let's stop saying somebody 'good job, you're awesome!' because that's pissing you off? Let's stop giving sweets and chocolate for achievements?
You should note children especially need this display of love, appreciation and positive reinforcement to grow up without developing severe emotional disturbances.
And I really mean severe. Little 4yo can go totally mad, for example - pardon me - pissing on your walls, smashing your furniture, going severely eating disordered and believing themselves total failure if you failed raising them with forms of love, praise and appreciation that they comprehend for just their first 4 years of life.
I absolutely agree with another aspect of what you said though.
Who cares if somebody cannot find another way to stim and flaps, spins or whatever unless they tjemselves want to change it?
I don't generally agree stim are for survival though. Applies to some, applies to some stims, doesn't apply to all nor to all stims (seeing how some stims can harm and kill quite easily or can be redirected and stopped without dropping dead as a result).
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Autism + ADHD
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The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett