Personality Change and Age

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Anyone notice a change in their personality as they grew up from adolescence to adulthood?

I used to be really outgoing and fun and hyper when I got together with friends, and now I'm just quiet, and shy, and like...not as sociable as I used to be.

Can Aspie symptoms be delayed to adulthood??

Thus is the evolution of the human species; personality change is inevitable with the gain of wisdom.

I used to be really outgoing and fun and hyper when I got together with friends, and now I'm just quiet, and shy, and like...not as sociable as I used to be

EXACTLY how mine changed, my friend Callum an asie went from shy to very outgoing wellI'm the same as you.

however Atar there is a flaw in logic as humans progress not revert, most aspies have an adverse progression by the sounds of it, have always been shy and was more easier to cope with multple friends Nowadays I can't basicall come 16 17 for me I went a lt more serious with interests etc etc my hoarding is more apparent now

I'm the exact opposite. I used to be quiet, shy, and friendless. Now I'm very outgoing when I get together with friends.

I personally believe that one's "adult" personality doesn't really settle in until their mid twenties or so... basically a few years after college.


I doubt it. Maybe you're just having trouble adapting to life after college?

Yes. I did more things as a kid, I played outside more, did other things, then we moved to Montana and it changed me. I stopped playing with lot of stuff because our house was too small. I did video games and played with my Barbies and watched TV and did computer. I did not play outside because we lived on a farm, I did not ride my bike or roller blade, and I didn't play with my brother's toys or Knex or the train tracks. Then when I was 16, we finally move into our big house and I still didn't go back to my old self. Now here I am living in Portland and I still don't go outside or do things I used to do as a kid. I spend most of my time watching tv and doing computer.

To a certain extent I have gained a lot more control, but still enjoy childlike things (like slinkies) but the types of things I read and do for fun have changed otherwise. Plus, ironically I have become more social & aware of my limits. But I still choose to spend most of my time alone. One bonus to changing is that I can now give legitimate reasons for not wanting a "normal romantic/physical relationship" beyond "Boys are icky!"- still said this a lot until recently actually. Still as shy & reclusive as ever though.

This is exactly what happened to me. I'm such a lonely private person these days. I'm also overly sensitive and self-conscious. I'm paranoid about what people think and whether they're compatible with me.

I have this thing where I have to listen to everyone else share things about themselves before I dare share anything about me. I hate it when I'm with a group of people and they start talking about music they like, political opinions, etc., and their preferences don't match my own. If anyone asks me about my opinions I get anxious and try to find a way out of answering. I also get annoyed easily and secretly look down on people. I find myself rarely having the energy to do small-talk and even when I do attempt to talk to people I start fearing that I have nothing in common.

Maybe it's partly an avoidance thing. I preemptively dismiss people because I fear disappointment and bemoan my lack of ability to stay connected with people. The less I talk to people the less motivated I am to try. All the time I'm telling myself "what's the use".

I was desperately sociable back in 2005 to 2007 and craved company all the time before that as well when I was still married.

Then I got a lot of emotional strain when I took in a suicidal depressed friend to live with me for a few months last year, and this year became much more withdrawn and stressed and didn't really want company. I was eventually diagnosed with AS and ADHD, and I am slowly but surely getting back to my more outgoing self through a combination of love, understanding, friends with good ADHD and Aspie coping strategies, and Ritalin!

I can understand all that very well. I was at a Dance Jam the other night (an event where you can dance barefoot, and there's no smoking and drinking) and for the first time in ages I felt distant and judgemental and I didn't want to join in. Everyone seemed the same: all 35+ neo-hippie vegetarian astrology types. I was going through a massive inner argument with myself to try to accept that they could be OK people. And they were all white. It is so much easier for me when a group is diverse (varying socio-economic backgrounds, different races and cultures), because then I feel like I have a place, because nobody is the same anyway. And I feel I have a role to play then: find the wallflowers, and make them feel welcome.

The situation was eventually resolved when I went off and found my friend who had come with me eating pizza in the restaurant downstairs with a colleague of her husband and we had a fun conversation about all sorts of odd things about ourselves. After that it was easy to go back and have fun dancing.

I don't feel like I have the charm to make anyone feel welcome. Other socially awkward people can be even more difficult because each of us will multiply the other's awkward silence in a kind of mutual feedback. The wallflowers are usually just as nervous as I am and so no conversation ever develops.

I do better when other people take the initiative. Yet I always get annoyed when groups try to include me and talk to me as if I have the same opinions, interests, etc. as they do when I don't.

Well, I haven't gotten out of college just yet, but I am noticing small changes in my personality... coming in small increments.

Not quite like the op but...
From the earliest I can remember to about 6 almost 7 years old I didn't interact with people much, I didn't have any interest and I've been told I often didn't respond to non-family members who tried to talk to me.

Around 6/7 yrs old is 1st grade and I also had a baby brother who could talk a bit, so I began to come out of my shell. Slowly, I became more outgoing, and interacted with the other kids. I was confident, could stand up for myself and everything.

Between 11-12 years old puberty hit and I started to lose those abilities. I couldn't talk to people anymore, no energy for it and even now I can't remember how to interact with non-family. Even with my family, I need a lot of space from them. I don't desire friends, never really did, but I would like to be able to speak/respond in public. When you're in college, that's not acceptable, but I have a hard time squeaking out more than yes or no answers. I've had to drop classes that require social interaction.

I have a number of different approaches to this.

When I feel I have sufficient stuff to talk about, I will start a conversation, because I know I can keep it going singlehandedly for a while if necessary (I am naturally loquacious). This may sound like a rude thing to do, but in practice I have found that those friends which I have who are very shy and quiet welcome the fact that I talk so much, because it means that they can avoid loneliness without the effort of having to talk a lot themselves. And at some point I do usually manage to be amusing. There is evidence that I must listen to them at least some of the time, because I know what their own opinions and tastes are, and their history, emotional state, etc. -- to the degree that I know pretty well what they would like as birthday presents.

When I don't have much to say, I will, for example, go and stand next to some wallflower-person and be quiet for a while, and then say something subdued like, "So... er... do you think they would be annoyed if we, like, went and checked out the kitchen or played with the dog instead of trying to fit into their conversations?"



So do I, but I wonder whether I don't do that myself sometimes!

Not really since its a developmental disorder, its more likely that you improve with age.

You could be aspie and have something else going on like hormonal changes or depression or are just maturing or something, or you just might not be aspie and are growing into a more mature and thoughtful person.

Could be many reasons.

I've always been pretty much the same. I did decide a couple of months ago that I'd give myself a break on the whole adapting thing though, but that wasn't really a personality change. I'm just nicer for myself now, I don't force myself to go out all the time and care more for my own needs. I'm happier now than ever before.