"But you seem normal!"

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I've told a few people about my Aspergers, and people often say to me "But you seem normal" or "I wouldn't be able to tell".
How do you deal with this response?
It feels like either people are saying Aspies are weird (and therefore I'm weird) or that I'm lying about having Aspergers.

The irony is that people consider me really weird. But if I tell them I am autistic, I get the "no way you're so normal" reaction. Give me a break. Which is it?

I'd say that it does not necessarily manifest in obvious ways, and then perhaps give an example of a non obvious problem you have that is related to your particular brand of autism.

If you mostly pass for normal, I wouldn't raise it without very good reason, like you're trying to get some support.

This happens to me quite a bit. People ask me why I'm weird/quiet/nerdy/a loner and I tell them that I might have AS (my parents still have to check it out), and they just laugh in my face or go "What's that?"

It doesn't annoy me when people say "They wouldn't have guessed" but it does annoy me when people make presumptions and say I don't.

I get that a lot. Usually, some time later, I do or say something that makes them cock their heads and say "you really are autistic!"

"Wow. You really did have an anxiety attack in that crowded place/ didn't notice I was crying/ etc. I thought you were just lying!"

I've gotten the same response in regards to ADD, too. "You don't have ADD! You got here on time!"

I think people are more willing to believe that you are weird or eccentric than to accept that you might have some valid neurological difference.

When people have said that to me, I said, "Well, I'm high functioning, which means that I am normal. There's just some social anxiety, depression and focus issues that most people don't have to deal with."

Sigh.... So far not hearing that response at all. My accountant said, "You are a very high functioning autistic" to me once to which I replied "Of course" but she did not doubt it either. That was the closest thing I have been called to "normal". Everyone else in my family and life said it totally fit. My own Mother told my shrink to save the pencil for the upcoming tests. She can assure him that I am. Apparantly I am a posterchild for this thing...

That's what I apparently get when my mum tells people about it...although I seem to be more weirder at home then to strangers.

Anyone that has any real knowledge of autism recognizes my spectrum-itis. But those that equate autism with Rain Man and other media stereotypes just don't get it.

It's a compliment in my opinion. If you don't seem outwardly aspie that's a good thing right?

It depends on the person...I have talked to people who are so arrogant about it and pass you off as "Stupid or moronic" that not telling these type of people can make it look like a good thing.

However, if you told someone who has experience in dealing with those who don't show any symptoms will adapt to your needs...so overall it can either be a good or a bad thing.

Thank the person. It's their way of saying you successfully adapted to the rest of the world. That's what every self-respecting aspie hopes to achieve, and it means you have the mental willpower to accomplish things. It's okay to be weird, it's just that average people don't associate Asperger's with "weird." They associate Asperger's with some mental image they have of low-functioning autism. It's totally wrong, but if they don't know any better, that can happen.

This is true only some of the time. When the person saying it has no knowledge of autism, they may simply be assuming that because you don't drool and moan you really aren't autistic and are just making excuses for your troubles.

It is also a pretty big assumption that all self-respecting aspies wish to pass as NT. My take on that is that self respect has little to do with passing yourself as something you are not. It is possible to be quite autistic in appearance and still be content. Self respect has as more to do with what you believe about yourself than what others believe about you.

Sort of, but it also means that they don't believe I have it I think. This means that when I act in certain ways because of my Aspergers (for instance, refusing to change to a different trampoline because it's all wrong) they will think it's just me being difficult. It can be hard to explain to someone that you really CAN'T do something when they think you're 'normal'.

Or that sometimes when they think you are clueless it is because you really are clueless. I run into this a lot regarding social cues. There is a poll in this forum about hating jocks. When I was in high school I had NO CONCEPT of those social divisions. I was literally clueless.

I still run into these problems, and because I am hyperlexic and able to bob and weave through social situations, I have an nominally acceptable appearance of normalcy. But I am still often clueless and prone to inexplicable actions and statements.