Does anybody else detest parties ?????????

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Just wondered if my dread of parties and social gatherings is common in OUR world ?

We have been invited to TWO parties both due anytime and I have already said that I won't be going - this doesn't stop my wife and kids (22 &25) pestering me to go to the gatherings.

One is a 50th and the other a 21st.


I am 51 and I feel as though my life is on pause until the damn things are over with.

It's all I can think/worry about in the days leading up to them.

I don't "drink" - I certainly don't "dance and I am also a very fussy eater - also very shy and withdrawn especially in large groups .

I suppose at my age I should be able to cope better but I just can't .

It causes pretty bad tension between myself and the wife and she usually understands luckily ( but not always).

I LOVE parties, I am shy though and I use the dancing as a good excuse not to talk to people, works for me.

detest them. as a youngster I would jsut get blotto and paralytically drunk in order to deal with people and places and sensory stuff.

I don't do parties these days.

I do not understand how parties (by the typical definition) can possibly be viewed as enjoyable. Loud music, 'dancing' (whatever that means these days), everyone getting uproariously drunk, casually socializing with people you barely even know and possibly 'hooking up' with a stranger. I just don't get it. That sounds like my idea of hell.

Now if we are talking about a quiet gathering of close famly and friends to commemorate a certain event, I can understand that a little better. Though I generally still greatly dislike being there, I at least understand the purpose of those kind. I like to celebrate special events as well but generally not with many/any people.

I detest 'showers' of any kind.

I guess that most people find the simple act of socialization to be enjoyable which I generally do not. The last time I went to a 'gathering' I got some food and sat in a chair directly in front of the TV where a movie was playing and set myself so that the TV blocked my veiw of everything else and just immersed myself completely in the movie. I found it a handy way to avoid 'conversation.' If a TV or other inanimate destraction is unavailable I will usually find one friend that I know decently well and converse only with them and follow them around. If the second option is unavailable as well I will find a quiet corner where I will not be in anyone's way and sit by myself until it is time to go.

Well Ok, to be honest, when I was younger if I was with a group of good friends, I have been known to dance on occasion Generally it only happens if I can get into a mind state where I can forget that all the other people exist and just have fun with my friends. I danced quite a bit at my first wedding (about 30 people most of whom I know). I am not sure where that came from to be honest. I kind of felt like it was my responsibility to make sure everyone had fun so I tried to encourage people to dance and have a good time. But I didn't socialize with anyone other than my groom and my best friends. (And I had to be buzzed on vodka to make it through the ceremony )

If I don't know many people or it's loud I can't take it. Even otherwise I can only be there so long before I'm worn out.

I LOATHE parties, I can't think of anything worse than a party. I hate drinking, I hate dancing and I hate socialising with people who I don't know well. I don't like going to family gatherings either, there soo awkward and parties are pretty much my worst nightmare. I guess socialising in general (particulary at parties) is a severe phobia of mine.

I completely relate to your entire post. And it's getting worse with age, not because my anxiety is any different from prior years, but I think because I'm just getting tired where social pressure is concerned. I've done a lot more "just saying NO" in the past couple years, refusing to attend parties. I've got two big birthday events this summer and the pressure's on.


ME TOO.

Exactly.
Since realising I was AS, and getting diagnosed, I have had a good look at my previous 'form.'
I had to be totally smashed just to get through it, and kidded myself it was fun. It wasn't. It was overwhelming, loud and a social nightmare.
Small family gatherings, or inpromptu get-togethers with friends can be nice and pretty good fun. But the very thought of a works party or some big, formal occassion has my stomach flipping over, even now - just typing about it.

I can get an overload if it gets too dynamic, can't multitask,etc.
I go mainly to these to keep peace in the family, as most of the time im drained rather than refreshed.

We have a wedding to do on the 20th of this month , as daughter # 3 is getting married ........ Me and the wife are in pre-overload right now.......

It depends. There ARE good parties. I try to avoid the bad ones (where people only go to get drunk), but usually I don't particularly dislike social gatherings. I actually organize social evets quite often.

For me it depends on the party. I'm ok with family & people I know, and parties that have no main focus such as like open mic night at the bar etc. I love stuff like that, however I hate parties with a 'special' person like weddings & birthdays, I have no idea why that is, I just do. I do drink, and thats my biggest downfall, I used to get drunk simply because if I was drunk I could chat to people about any old s**t & not worry about making an ass of myself. It was better for me to be laughed at because I was falling everywhere & laughing hystericaly that it was to be laughed at for being 'weird' & sitting in a corner.

Planning a gathering is a different matter, imo. I love to plan things. Planning my wedding was a billion times more fun than attending

So many details to attend to.

Don't hate them, but I do hate:

- having to ask people to yell in my ear so I can hear them over other stimuli (ambient deafness)

- everyone talking at once. I'm not normally prone to sensory overload other than getting a little aggressive or irritable. But if anything's up with me, like tiredness, infection, or PMS, it f***s me up.

- sitting in a corner wishing I could find someone I gel with, while everyone else sits in a group and laughs and has fun.

I never, never go to parties.

If it is a small gathering, then I will go.

I enjoy parties where there's games to participate in. I don't particularly enjoy the type of party where everyone just stands around drinking and talking the entire time.

My main issue is not being able to hear anything when everyone is talking at once. Also, the constant interruptions and rapid changes of topic grate my nerves a bit. After a while I get tired and go somewhere to space out for a while. Alcohol doesn't always make me feel talkative. Usually I just get real mellow and feel sort of lost in the ambiance of the moment, not really talking much.

I like parties, but I don't like when there's loud music. I'm not sensitive to loud volumes, but loud volumes cause hearing damage so I'd like to save my ears. I always make sure I have ear plugs for this reason.