You can't say "we" about this as if all autistic people were the same.
The most outwardly autistic person I've met in person was a man in his fifties. He was entirely non-verbal, and only interested in his obsessive interests. But he would sit at meals and go with people on trips and so on, because he knew what they wanted from him.
But once I was upset and this man communicated with me telepathically, saying "you have all the freedom inte world". Meaning, you think you have no choices, but you have more freedom than anybody, certainly more than me. It was like a kind middle-aged man, who's been through more than you have, comforting you, just out of kindness, for no other reason than kindness. He was THERE. You know if you meet a regular person they have a presence, they interact with you emotionally whatever they do, just by being there. Well that once, he did that too.
It made me feel better, but above all it made me know him better. Not that he would care about that - he just didn't want me to be sad.
That may not have much to do with your post but it's what it made me think of.